Animal Funny Poems

Sir Billy Pig’s missing his oats
Miss Piggy Wig’s had hers, she gloats
But she’s looking so rough
Her bum’s full of crap stuff
Its output is brown and...

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There once was an old man we called Harry
That felt all animals were quite scary
When the black bear stood tall
He did not move at all
Cause...

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I’m just a cow chewing my cud
     if a bull, I could be a stud
      ...

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The Kitten

In canine halls of wisdom, where dogs do reside,
A furry little menace, has decided to abide,
A kitten, small and sassy, with eyes so bright,
A...

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I called to the monkey who wore a pinstriped suit,
Found out the giraffe and hippo are mute.
Saw a man stare at a lemur 'til dark,
Like...

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In Memoriam: Owen the Pheasant
Lost at an auction in Vermont betwixt a first edition Anna Karenina and a bitter divorcée named Ruth. 


There once was...

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Smiles from me to you, 
making you happy not blue.
Friendship we can praise, 
as we enjoy sunny days.

My puppy is tan and small, 
she likes...

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Goldilocks and the three bears, 
The story is a classic. 
But one idea came to mind, 
What if she was made of plastic? 
With lips...

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Creatures of the sea, all beautiful and fair. 
A thought comes to mind, what if they swam in the air? 
Would we swat fish away...

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Did you know that
Flamingos love to tango?
Three steps forward, one side step,
Shake of the hips, they end the prep.
Quick, quick, slow, gracefully slide,
Flamingos dance as...

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Okapi thought he was a horse
Attempted to blend in, of course
Zebras kicked him out
Horses ran about
But okapi had no remorse
...

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Aristotle, doth he opine,
That parrots grow saucy with wine.
I can't help but think
He drove it to drink, 
The source of its moral decline....

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In a village lived a lame man named Dick
Once he was walking along with a stick
A monkey with a grin
From back, pulled the stick in
With...

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Falling asleep while waiting for you
Trying to keep my eyes open
I don’t know why you didn’t turn up
You said you’d come
I bought a lovely rose...

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ANIMAL CHAOS

Dogs barking loudly,
excited cats meowing,
as rats run and play:-
...

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