Q: When a woman is having a baby, what do you call the periods of time between labor contractions?
A: Pregnant pauses.
Q: What happens when a restaurant doesn't sell all of its "soup du jour"?
A: It goes on tomorrow's menu as "soup du yesterjour".
Q: What do you call a group of witches doing their own laundry?
A: A self-cleaning coven.
Q: What did the prostitute say to the sympathetic arresting female officer from Buenos Aires?
A: Don't cry for me, Sergeant Tina.
Q: What did the cannibal chief tell his people when they were defeated by another tribe?
A: If you can't eat 'em, join 'em.
Q: What did two gay knights tell King Arthur when he asked them if they were dating?
A: We''re not a couple, we're joust friends.
Q: What's the difference between a vase and a "vahze"?
A: The price.
Q: How can you tell if a politician is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: How would Hollywood describe a remake of "Day of the Dead" set in old Tucson with a score and lyrics by Andrew Lloyd Webber?
A: A zombie western musical.
Q: What might be the motto of a cannibal police force?
A: "To dissect and serve".
Categories:
folio, humor,
Form: I do not know?
...more stuff and nonsense...
Q: Why would it be a good thing if wood were used as money?
A: It grows on trees.
Q: Who was the star of last year's Christmas Drag Show?
A: Felice Navidude.
Q: Why was the adult film director upset when one of his actors couldn't get it up for the "money shot"?
A: It left him one prick shy of a load.
Q: What do you call it when radical moms and dads allow and/or encourage their children to be suicide bombers?
A: Bad parenting.
Q: What was one of the things King Solomon was most famous for?
A: Split decisions.
Q: Where were the toilet facilities located on Noah's ark?
A: On the poop deck.
Q: What does the Dental Fairy demand before she'll leave money under a kid's pillow?
A: The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth.
Q: What do a Giant Angora and an old analog TV have in common?
A: Rabbit ears.
Q: What did the press call the group of women boycotting a famous musical revue in New York?
A: The Radio City Blockettes.
Q: What is a support group for recovering poets and writers?
A: AA (Author's Anonymous).
Categories:
folio, humor,
Form: I do not know?
Q: Who is the young man who takes care of a child with no parents?
A: Little orphan's manny.
Q: How can a meth addict contact his supplier more quickly?
A: Put him on speed dial.
Q: What is the sharpened pole upon which the "sea eagle" impaled himself?
A: A tern pike.
Q: What do you call a sheet of glass eaten by a donkey?
A: A pane in the ass.
Q: What is it called when one ethnicity at work gets a larger office than another?
A: Racial spatial discrimination.
Q: What do you call a kid who demolishes his Cheerios instead of eating them?
A: A cereal killer.
Q: What did the call girl call the midget when he didn't want to pay her for her services?
A: A little prick.
Q: What's the one exercise Mitch McConnell can't do at the gym?
A: Chin-ups.
Q: What is the antique lawn statue near the door of my plantation in Lexington?
A: My old Kentucky gnome.
Q: Where did the first Mrs. Bing Crosby keep her love for her family?
A: Deep in the heart of Dixie.
Categories:
folio, humor,
Form: I do not know?
Q: What would Roy Rogers have been called if he had been a singing farmer?
A: King of the Plowboys.
Q: In the Beowulf saga, who was a male child of the hag Grendel?
A: A real sonofawitch.
Q: What's the slogan for an ad campaign for a certain fabric in Copenhagen?
A: "Something is cotton in the state of Denmark".
Q: What is fear of joining a fitness club?
A: Gymtimidation.
Q: When she worked onstage in a comedy, what could actress Elaine do for an audience?
A: Keep it in Stritches.
Q: What might you call the LGBT version of the glass slipper story?
A: "Transgenderella".
Q: Also for theatre and film buffs--What would you call public transportation in a ghost town?
A: A streetcar named Bizarre.
Q: Why did the man tell the 911 operator to please send help quickly when his spouse appeared to be choking?
A: It was a matter of wife or death.
Q: What is someone who hitchhikes across the country studying different dialects?
A: A roads scholar.
Q: How did the Glasgow "Evening Times" reporter headline the story of the party boat that sank after hitting an iceberg?
A: Scots on the rocks!
Categories:
folio, humor,
Form: I do not know?
Paper note book with fine grain page,
Attest to thought of folio tints;
Pleasant print looks await ink wage,
Emerge sure lot of written mint;
Reach with clear wit that poignant high,
See sensuous whim curl cryptic shores;
Treat welcome bits where echoes sigh,
Opt crazy theme plus feisty more;
Notes plunder plot with playful points,
Engulf stray flings as buzzy feel.
Bloom crafty thoughts with ideas joint,
Oblige fond swings of moods that will,
Observe new urge that merge with care,
Keep well verse surge in cites laid bare.
Leon Enriquez
18 September 2016
Singapore
Categories:
folio, allegory,
Form: Sonnet
Slathered, oiled frames
Treading sands of time
Foaming tides surge
Briny film develops
Two, virile images
In pixelated motion
Entering Love's folio
Sharing spatial time
Their, silted still life forms
Yesterday's, filtered shadows
On egg-white shells
Stain beach canvas
With sea salts embalmed
Strained sediments bury
Mementos but caricature
That hoary sun preserves
In Nature's reserve
Each negative revolves
On reflective carousel
Hourglass recycles grains
Mercurial silhouettes of love
Outlined in the murky brine
Wind's emotive flute
Pipes enduring refrain
Categories:
folio, love, romance,
Form: Free verse
Still
life
cartoons-
animate
a paper movie.
Categories:
folio, art,
Form: Fibonacci