Freely admit am more than a bit of a Test cricket junkie
VIP pass doff for punky class of Bazball’s start so spunky
Revel in rocking devil may care peacocking flair so funky
But when stuttered became rather cluttered and clunky
Then Ben not with his men again is still a cheeky monkey
Iffy getting squiffy forgot curfew & in a jiffy all got gunky
Palaver in a lather farce of toff ECB job & gob of slob Key
Smelt wrong the pong not dope has felt old school skunky
Hunky stallion did quaff the trough now rapscallion donkey
Scoff not bob on plunky fob off dob em in for being a flunky
Got a cob on Baz a show off ar*e & Rob chubby and chunky
Sob should burn on the hob as each other’s jail bit*h bunkie
Turn the door k*ob in lob Baz & Bob then Ben lose the key
As I walked out in the streets of Manteca,
as I walked out in Manteca one day,
I spied a young cowboy asleep on the sidewalk,
when prodded from slumber these words he did say:
"You are wearing a Stetson, spurs, chaps, and a six-gun:
I assume then you must be a cowboy like me;
come sit down beside me and hear my sad story,
then try to guess which shell is hiding the pea.
'Twas once in the saddle I used to ride gaily,
albeit I had not a horse to my name,
but down in the basement my dad had a saw-horse,
so I rode a steed that could never go lame.
O bury me holding a King and five Aces
with a pint of good whiskey to keep my corpse warm,
and a pair of my custom made dice in my watch fob,
for I'm a young cowboy and I've bought the farm."
elderly and Helen Mirren
It is hard work to be old; many people prey on us, the elderly
My wife is better at telling people to fob off than I am
When people tell me a sob story, I tend to believe
What they, why else will they tell
My wife and I are very different; she likes to speak to
people in a cafe or a waiting room at the doctor's, yes, we
Do see many doctors, with age comes the infirmary
I sit there and try not to look at the clock
She comes from an upper-class family without money
I am from a modest background with a tendency not to spend
money, but safe for a day, it might rain, and we will be
caught in the downpour without an umbrella
Yes, in public, we hold hands, we get the condescending
glances, oh, how sweet they are
I feel annoyed like Helen Mirren, wishing that people would
off and leave us in peace
there was a young surgeon named Bob
who learned his craft on the job
on a post op exam
with stethoscope in hand
realized where he left his Swiss watch and fob
Fresh bread,
sometimes called “fob”,
very bland by itself,
but with peanut butter and jam:
pure bliss.
Aunt Bert’s
fresh homemade bread:
Molasses and raisins
weren't the secret ingredients,
just love.
The 10th July 2009
7 soldiers died on the front line
Panthers Claw the op was called
Sangin district is where we toured
2nd battalion the rifles had a few bad days
With many a soldier still in that haze
Sangin DC or Fob Rob to others
Left a lot of grieving mothers
The worst fatalities in all the years
Fighting insurgents bringing with it tears
You can't help but to think why
Another of service men and women should die
Others left with life changing injuries
From gunshot wounds to triple amputees
Swift and bold the motto was
But leaving the gates everyone was anxious
Even today 14 years on.
Soldiers struggling feeling they don't belong
Mentally and physically exhausting it is
The mind playing games taking the piss
Rifleman Simpson and Rfn jo Murphy
Cpl Jon horne and Cpl Scot Lee
James backhouse and Sgt Paul mcaleese
William Aldridge lives taken with ease
I know war is war
And casualties happen
But why should this be
Those who survive get PTSD
Long years back writing just was a job,
To my boss— a bugbear, my pet lob,
It then turned to hobby—
To numb noise my Dolby,
My life’s passion by now consigned FOB
Of an unpaid cabby,
A do-not-so hubby,
A horse in harness, show-off doorknob.
_________________________________
FOB: Free on board as in shipments
Reflections |02.05.2023| humour
"The Heart’s Eye"
When the heart’s eye
speaks to you,
you listen, just as
when the heart’s eye
sees how it all is,
you feel, touched
in the mind
the heart’s eye
is an overworked muscle
working overtime
a pearl of wisdom
eating you inside out
like a carnival eats
its exposed clowns
eventually it stops
tick-tock
tick-tock
no one truly suspects
the depths of its
depraved covert nature
incognito, it’s a time bomb
some Lewis clock
on a well-lit fob watch
down the rabbit hole
we go journeying
with smiling hatters
who are really Jabberwocks
the heart’s eye is a Red Queen
residing inside
Love, exists, resists,
concedes for all its worth
light and dark treacly stuff
it’s a messy business
it ain't clean,
all said and done
when heads
roll off
(LadyLabyrinth / 2023)
A drug crazed world spins on ever faster.
Bodies tumble out of that carousel
never to be seen again.
Once whirling dervishes twirled
now they stagger and fall drunkenly.
Molestation hangs in the air
drooling its perilous lava.
All control is folly,
and yet...
this morning
I sip at a mug of Columbian
one hand to pick up a casino bought fob watch,
I let its fake gold chain run threw my fingers,
feel the weight of the colored glass jewel
set within its case
This simple tactility rests my mind
I am at peace with myself.
if all the lithium cell batteries were to cease
this instant,
I would still have this moment to live within,
the taste of rich coffee and this non-working $10 watch
to treasure.
Parents sent him to school
to learn the Golden Rule
Son entered college
to pursue knowledge
Now he has a fine job
chained to a fob
The west winds of springtime
Brought forth April showers
That rained on the pavements
Of Southwick for hours.
It was standing room only
And full to the brim
As people sought shelter
At the old Tabard Inn.
A man with a top hat
Sat staring in space.
There was illness and sadness
Etched deep in his face.
A man with a fob watch
Was seen swapping gold
For a bottle of whisky
Before facing the cold.
A woman sighed deeply
Then laughed with a guest
While sipping tap water
And winning at chess.
There was no chef so no food
Since that dark violent day
When the innkeeper watched him
Being stretchered away.
So the sailor (being followed)
Missed having his tea,
And drank five pints of real ale
Before leaving for sea.
I’ll never get used to alarms
Though homeowners see all their charms.
It’s too easy to make
Just one tiny mistake
Which can cause some to be up in arms.
To disarm one you need fob or code
Or you’ll wake an entire abode
For the noise it emits
Blows one’s eardrums to bits
And those woken from sleep may explode.
In the city, alarm use is rare
And it isn’t that people don’t care
But a doorman and lock
Chase the thieves from the block
To the suburbs – alarmers beware!
Cars today do not come with keys.
You are handed a little elongated remote fob thing.
Silver and black, looks science fiction-ish.
If you are me, you think there is a button somewhere.
If you flick it, the teeth of the key will appear like a switchblade.
But
N
N
N
O
O
O
That does not happen.
It is a keyless car; you have to have the fob to start it
But there is a start button.
It took me several tries and the delivery man jumped in twice.
He explained it, and I jumped back in.
But I did not get it until the second time.
The trick is – you have to put your foot on the brake and keep it there
Until you push the start button and hear it start.
If it has a real soft engine, you do not hear it at all.
I was terrified we had bought a car I could not ever start.
Patent No.1
Give me directions to find my car.
Arrows on the key fob, point near or far.
North by North West; is this the right way? Yes.
There is my car, under the star.
This invention is the best.
Trackar, twenty yards away, easy to find.
All you need to do is follow the line.
(C)2019 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
We Will Rob a Job
We will rob a job,
When we are using a FOB;
Eat no corn on cob.
We have multiple job holders, people
working in one state yet they living in
another and newly created jobs combining
other jobs. We may create new jobs but
if the new jobs replace more jobs than
they create. there will be a negative effect.
How does the effect affect the effect? Must
use input output analysis to realize the total,
full effects. Automation can be the creation
of much hesitation.
Jim Horn
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