One champagne bottle to another:
I hope you won’t think me crass
for asking if you’re feeling bloated
with gas as I am, and millions of others.
Keep in mind our distress it’s not
a quirk of nature but a method
developed over years by vintners
and improved over the centuries:
the goal to change a good still wine
into a great prize winning champagne
with a worldwide fame for those rare
and special occassions when only
the finest champagne deserves to be
served. For eager party-goers
the excitement begins when the cork
is popped (a sometime dangerous
piece of work, by-the-way, especially
if the bottle was purposely shaken
for a special effect and the cork
released like a projectile fired
from a cannon and it lodges in
someone’s eye socket, God forbid!)
though the relief from years of
pent up gas for millions of us
bottles is immediate and not
unlike that urgency many
humans share when fecal matter
is long held back and with force
and effort is released – if you’ll
pardon the crude analogy.
Categories:
fecal matter, analogy,
Form: Free verse
Ideally, we would flush
what is of little value –
wiser men and women
sending to the sewer
of time, putrid, fecal matter --
a byproduct common
to even the best
of societies...
lately, we elevate them
to higher orifice –
Categories:
fecal matter, community, evil, patriotic, perspective,
Form: Free verse
AT THE DUNG DINERS’ CLUB-
Dung beetles them there beetles ;
That feed on feces;
Some species of dung beetles;
Ooh! Yum just love that feces from all the species;
Can bury dung 250 times their own mass;
In one night those dungs love to not pass;
Also known as rollers, roll dung into round balls,
Which are used as a food source please pass the more;
Or breeding chambers;
Animal dung used for fertilizing lands and lawns so bitter;
Dung muck droppings, ordure guano;
Cowpats, cow chips, horse apples;
Compost, excrement, mulch maul
Buffalo chips, cow chips, Heee haw!
Cow plop's, meadow muffins, BM, Oh? crap;
Defecation, discharge;
Excrement, fecal matter, waste;
Feces feculence flux
Go to the bathroom, stool, number two
Poop the night soil
Swwhh,! ooh the airs so fowl
Egesta evacuations body waste
Says them there dung beetles give it a taste
Guess them dung is dung eating ya? Make haste(Oooh yum yah!)
7/19/21
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr. 2021©
DEADICATED VERSE TO Jan Allison AT THE DUNG DINERS CLUB
Categories:
fecal matter, analogy, appreciation, food, insect,
Form: Rhyme
Test icles
Female dog
Oral stimulation
Wood
Rectal insert
Bulb of the vestibule
Raccoon
Box
Ipipi
Del dool
Dike
Cigarette
Akkineni
Mouthification
Analingus
Fornication Under Consent of the King
Fudge factory worker
Gay
Ejacu late
Fleshy folds of skin
Handwarmer
Black person ethnic slur
Pene
Rose thorn puncture
Cono
Strange
Sack
Fecal matter
Promiscuous woman
Pluck
Pecho
Obnoxious person
Faighne
Master Baker
Categories:
fecal matter, america, baptism, culture, family,
Form: List
Crap dung excrement;
Discharged BM;
Defecation discharge fecal matter;
~
Wasted number two;
Deuce feculence faces manure;
Poop muck droppings ordure;
~
Guano guand cowpats
Dung know
4/26/20
Written words by James Edward Lee Sr 2020
Categories:
fecal matter, allegory, analogy, humor, word
Form: Free verse
I was leanin' on the fence slurpin' a mug o' joe,
Admirin' my neighbor's garden and watchin' Harry hoe.
"Harry, Harry", I asked, "What makes yer garden grow?"
"I spread oodles of fecal matter on each and ever' row!"
Clyde spent an afternoon guzzlin' Coors in his neighborhood saloon.
He swore he saw a cat play a fiddle and a cow jump over the moon!
He was so sozzled that he was taken to a clinic to recover from his swoon,
And it was there that he was certified to be wackier than a loon!
Humpty Dumpty fell from a balcony splattered upon the street below!
Was he shoved, was he soused or suffered an untimely bout of vertigo?
He was a fairly 'bad' egg from what is heard from pals in the know.
It was just 'rotten' luck that his fragile shell couldn't withstand the blow!
Little Jack Horner sat in a corner devourin' a large pizza pie.
He furtively sipped some brew and was gettin' rather high!
His momma was aghast at such behavior and confiscated the beer.
"Just wait 'til yer Pa gets home" said she and boxed him on the ear!
Categories:
fecal matter, humorous,
Form: Rhyme
So occupied by individuality ,
we have lost sight of the reality,
same struggle just different places ,
same consequences just different cases ,
each are own exception to the rule,
if you knew everything you wouldn't Be a fool ,
we all their fecal matter by the pound,
and someday we'll all be 6 feet under the ground,
condemn and judge like you don't make mistakes yourself,
turn your back on someone else,
you'll see what happens when you're the one that needs help,
but this is the we must all learn,
That in our intestines it's the same thing we churn,
Categories:
fecal matter, how i feel,
Form: Rhyme
A Real Friend gives a damn if they see there friends
suffering at the hands of fecal matter
When I see your pain I relate cant you see
I am being weakened as I try to make you feel better
and you choose to be loyal to your terrorist
You became my fair weather friend
I should have just let you fall off the cliff and worried
about my sanity instead our souls both suffered as I try
to hold up your head but who is there to uplift me and to
hear you ask me not to say unkind things
about her still really sickens me
Categories:
fecal matter, abuse, anger, sympathy,
Form: I do not know?
DO YOU KNOW WHERE I CAN TAKE A PEE?
I assure all of you one thing about this universe
it's getting worse
starving tiny little ones are crying
while their daddies are busy dying
some young man decides love is something some don't
and so he commits an atrocity most won't
he thinks that which is false is actually true
and that's how his partner ends up black and blue
there are stars thousands of years old who where witness to it all
as the moon watched the very first star fall
meteors crashed into a planet prolifferated by extinct reptiles
on a place that pathetic people defile
this earth is nothing but a huge porto-pottie for everyone
and the pipes burst when they get over-heated by a savage sun
fecal matter is the matter and how it gets into our drinking water
as we pray for the future of our sons and our daughter
some people have no regard for nature, people or trees
and this universe is suffering from an incurable disease
hardly anyone says thank you, you're welcome or please
and this is the planet where Satan pees
(c) 2012.....copyright PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
Categories:
fecal matter, angst, people, people, planet,
Form: Quatrain
I once told a lie
as I looked her in the eyes
LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
I just smashed a bowl
CB is a troll
In both sense
Wandering through minds of the unforgiven
As they irrationally spill their metaphorical hearts
Categories:
fecal matter, angst, confusion, cowboy-western, depression,
Form: Ghazal