Bubbly Advice

One champagne bottle to another: I hope you won’t think me crass for asking if you’re feeling bloated with gas as I am, and millions of others. Keep in mind our distress it’s not a quirk of nature but a method developed over years by vintners and improved over the centuries: the goal to change a good still wine into a great prize winning champagne with a worldwide fame for those rare and special occassions when only the finest champagne deserves to be served. For eager party-goers the excitement begins when the cork is popped (a sometime dangerous piece of work, by-the-way, especially if the bottle was purposely shaken for a special effect and the cork released like a projectile fired from a cannon and it lodges in someone’s eye socket, God forbid!) though the relief from years of pent up gas for millions of us bottles is immediate and not unlike that urgency many humans share when fecal matter is long held back and with force and effort is released – if you’ll pardon the crude analogy.