Funny Father Poems | Examples
These Funny Father poems are examples of Father poems about Funny. These are the best examples of Father Funny poems written by international poets.
My dad used to fill the newspaper sack with air
And then close his fist on it to form a bubble
Then —I think just for my amusement— pop it!
If I was right there he’d let me try to pop it haha
I wonder if he did this at work (the newspaper)
Or was it all for me since I’m easily amused? :)
I’ve tried to do this myself but it’s not the same
“Don’t you look nice!”, the waitress said
she left to get our ordered bread
as his black coffee cooled
he said, “You’ve got her fooled,”
and I went home and hid my head
Frasier Crane
had a hyperactive brain
loved all things suave and debonair
but not a fan of his dad's armchair
Martin Crane
got by with his dog and cane
was a beer and burger scholar
who knew the value of a dollar
10/06/21
from the sitcom 'Fraiser'
“O Honey, the brute bear, straddles the box.”
The saxophonist stares. “Music unlocks
the stuffings out of the dread growling beast.
Bear’s tongue does round his lips. Am I his feast?”
Goldilocks laughs. Saxophonist funny
and a great storyteller. “Now the bunny!”
His daughter points gleefully at its tail.
Dad closes the box, locking both in jail.
“The animals stuff their ears with their paws.
waiting for the whale to open its jaws.
Lo! They hear the great musician and hope
that the conductor will throw them a rope.”
Golden curls bob, “You make no sense, you must
unlock the box before the waters rust!”
“Suddenly roars, a quake - the box growling,
bunny scratching…” Dad and his muse rolling.
7/28/2021
Brian Strand’s Couplet Contest
Funny how faith found me, when you said you'd send for me
Abundance, I heard, abound in the United States of America
Travel was in my blood; warmed my heart that you filed for me
Humbly I waited my Quota at the U.S. Embassy in Belize, British Honduras
Eagerly you awaited my arrival
Reaching you, my life began anew with stern and lenient caring
Safe and secured, I was proud owner of a Green card.
Dad, I remembered you renovating our home before the hurricane season
America saw you laboring as Construction worker and Carpenter
Yes, you worked, womanized, and drank to life.
*
(Every man wishes to be understood with pardon and compassion.)
Bubblicious, not Bubble Yum
was my dad's favorite bubble gum.
Outperforming the second best,
on the coffee table it would rest
like a power nap between meals.
(Just one of dad's daily ordeals.)
Chomp, chomp, he'd continue the same,
whether reading or watching a ball game.
Again, it'd rest on the coffee table
while he'd jog, both strong and stable.
Not behind ears, where hair could cling,
not stuck on plates or any such thing.
On the coffee table it would be
as comfortable as family.
Grum, grum, upon the gum he'd graze,
each piece lasting two whole days.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long, the coffee table's been laid bare,
save waxy steaks and a vacant stare.
3/9/2021
The Seasonal family
of Mother Nature
and Father Time
When it comes to
a family reunion,
they are never far behind.
Winter, Spring, Summer
and Fall.
With her daughter
always on the ball.
Mother Nature’s
first born, Weather.
She is not as predictable
as we would like to think.
Weather may be
in the mood for
named hurricanes
or devastating tornadoes.
She'll place water spouts
over the ocean.
She may feel like a little
Wind, Rain, Sleet and Snow.
Weather has been known
to let a blizzard blow.
A drought in the desert
together goes well
with scorching heat,
and on some occasions
she has been known
to give us hail
in the middle of
a thunderstorm.
Just to let you know
Weather is always
on the go.
there once was a thief from devin
whose teachers called him sir kevin
but his mom and dad
were indeed more sad
he worked eleven to seven.
My Worst Gift
My dad’s a lifelong villain
But I’m the one that’s sorry
Cos this year all my presents fell
off the back of a lorry
I didn’t get computer games
Or snazzy hi-tech sneakers
I got a dozen refugees
And six asylum seekers
22 December 2018
Bunny Jump
Caren Krutsinger
Brother for sale.
I'll deliver him too.
I can send in the mail,
Wrapped in yellow or blue.
He's water potty-trained now,
But that can change in a day.
He'll be bundled with Oreos,
So he can eat on the way.
I can mail him by truck, car, or plane.
He's coming with stuff, his favorite toy train.
He's coming character-recommended, highly by me.
He's a pretty good brother, who is almost three.
We need him back when you get him trained.
We simply cannot seem to get through to his little brain.
That when he has to poop, hiding is no good.
Please train him to use the potty with solids, if you could.
Then send him back, to his crazy, loving home.
And this shall be the end of this tiny poem.
Moody?
Moody, yes I am
Moody, yes that's me
Why so full of grump? Why so moody?
The things you've got to watch, the things you've got to see!
A life that moves so fast, a life that moves constantly
No time to relax, no time to let go, that's a-mood-making to me!
I'll bite your head off with a look, I'll shout and snarl at you so very quietly
When I'm grumpy in a mood no one is safe that's near me
You may have done nothing wrong, you may not even know me
No matter though, I'll still burn a look at you 'cos I'm so full of mood you see.
Sat here with a gob-on like my dad who was the worlds worst moody git - you see it's really hereditary!
An angry Father, that wore a frown
has watched the rise of the devil's moon
While pacing, he's worn the carpet down
They arrive at dawn, and none too soon!
Broken curfews, her virtue at stake
The stakes are high, but the daughter dared
Dad quickly plans a wedding date!
No explanation or sage to share
They are ushered in, without a sigh
Their vows would choke the most aloof
It clouds the starlight in their eyes,
and shoots the moon, un-bullet proofed!
This patriarch must take a stand
Holy wedlock was in high demand !
__________________________________________________
11/17/15
Carrie Richards
Submitted for "Trashed # 4" Contest: Sponsored by Broken Wings
Dad is pushing up daisies today.
He did away with himself on New Year’s Day.
He lodged a bullet into his own chest.
Less than a week later, he was laid to rest.
Down to Atlantic City, you and Mom would roam.
All our depressed father could do was stay home.
You desired to dump more money in a casino.
Dad pleaded with you not to go.
What a horrible scene you witnessed with your eyes.
Our father fashioned his very own demise.
Of course, you were filled with regret.
However, you too easily disregard and forget.
Even that didn’t stop you from losing your money.
Do you think destroying yourself is funny?
Robert Pettit
Happy Father's Day Mom,
Without you this day would be,
Completely non-existant;
This day just would not be.
Dad is great, don't get me wrong,
I think that he is grand.
He's always there to play some game,
Spend time or lend a hand.
He taught me how to cast a line,
When we go out fishing.
He taught me how to speak my mind,
That there's no gain in wishing.
I don't think I'll e'er repay,
All that he's done for me.
I know for sure in all the world,
There's no one just like he.
I'd like to give him something,
To show there's none like he;
But you already did that,
On the day you gave him me.
Oh, what a joy little children are !
Juice in the video, sick in the car.
Untidy bedroom, scattered toys,
girls playing nurses with little boys.
Dogs' tails being pulled, a cat's on fire,
interrupting the moments of love and desire.
Passing the blame for their little crimes,
playing with frogs all covered in slime.
Screaming their heads off in a plush restaurant,
having a tantrum when refused what they want.
Arriving home late covered in mud,
not going to bed when they know they should.
Non-stop talking while dad's watching telly,
splashing the walls with ice-cream and jelly.
Chocolate stains on their Sunday best,
painting funny pictures on granddad's vest.
Why do parents' voices echo from afar,
Oh, what a joy little children are !