Silly old duffer, this Canadian dude
His name is Jester Jack Ellison
Those guys in white coats try real hard
To keep him sedated and bedridden
Don't dare let him let loose in public
For fear he might cause some harm
To ordinary people walking the streets
Making farting sounds under his arm
That's not as bad as pulling their hair
Or sticking his finger up their nose
Maybe annoying but harmless I guess
It's really not too bad I suppose
But when he sneaks up behind you
And yanks off your new hair piece
That's when we finally draw the line
Call the fuzz to get him to cease
Silly old duffer, he means no harm
Just wants some love and attention
At 88, people think he's over-the-hill
But he's been given a long extension
Silly old duffer, this Canadian dude
His name is Jester Jack Ellison
Those guys in white coats try real hard
To keep him sedated and bedridden
Don't dare let him loose in public
For fear he might cause some harm
To ordinary people walking the streets
Making farting sounds under his arm
That's not as bad as pulling their hair
Or sticking his finger up their nose
Maybe annoying but harmless I guess
It's really not too bad I suppose
But when he sneaks up behind you
And yanks off your brand new hair piece
That's when we finally draw the line
Call the fuzz to get him to cease
Silly old duffer, he means no harm
Just wants some love and attention
At 87, people think he's over-the-hill
But he's been given a long extension
I do not like our national leader
If I had a pet shark, he'd be a feeder
Hard to believe he's not a big joke
Oh what a homely pumpkin-head bloke.
I saw a rat, I saw a mouse
I saw a gobshyte near my house
His name ain't Paddy, his name ain't Rolf
He's a big cheater at the game of golf.
As we reach our so-called golden years
Time seems to pass more quickly
We realize each day still has 24 hours
But minutes take 30 seconds, quite eery
A phenomenon known as old duffering
It's time to fit in all we lack
No sooner it's the start of a brand new day
When it's time to hit the old sack
Where did it go, what the hell happened
Was a dapper young lad then poof
People are now asking if I need any help
As I stumble around quite aloof
The dazed look on my face could be why
People are always trying to help
Sometimes my trousers are on back to front
And I quite often forget my belt
You're bound to get there too eventually
Though it seems like forever away
Surely hope you don't embarrass yourself
By walking around nude all day
Randolph
Tried golf
Paid fees
Bought tees
Teed off
Pals scoff
Drive ****
In rough
Balls lost
They cost!
Oh crap
Sand trap!
Putts bad
Gets mad!
More flubs
Breaks clubs!
So far
No par
Played poor
No more!
Club house
To souse!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
Silly old duffer, this Canadian dude
His name is Jester Jack Ellison
Those guys in white coats try real hard
To keep him sedated and bedridden
Don't dare let him out in the public arena
For fear he might cause some alarm
To ordinary people walking the streets
Making farting sounds under his arm
That's not as bad as pulling their hair
Or sticking his finger up their nose
Maybe annoying but harmless I guess
It's really not too bad I suppose
But when he sneaks up behind you
And yanks off your brand new hair piece
That's when we finally draw the line
Call the fuzz to get him to cease
Silly old duffer, he means no harm
Just wants some love and attention
At 78, some think he's over-the-hill
But he's been given a very long extension
© Jack Ellison 2013
As we reach our so called golden years
Time seems to pass by so fast
We realize each day still has 24 hours
But minutes take 30 seconds to pass
A phenomenon known as old duffering
It's the time to fit in all we lack
No sooner it's the start of a brand new day
When it's time to hit the old sack
Where did it go, what the hell happened
Was a dapper young lad then poof
People are now asking if I need any help
As I stumble around quite aloof
The dazed look on my face could be why
People are always trying to help
Sometimes my trousers are on back to front
And I quite often forget my belt
Don't laugh, you'll all get there eventually
Though it seems like forever away
Surely hope you don't embarrass yourself
By walking around nude all day
© Jack Ellison 2013
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