Funny Drink Poems

Aristotle, doth he opine,
That parrots grow saucy with wine.
I can't help but think
He drove it to drink, 
The source of its moral decline....

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The machine lit up 
like a small cathedral—
chrome saints hopping
under glass,
the silver gospel
of the pinball
spinning wild 
between my hands.

It was my birthday—
twenty-one—
and free beers
rang up...

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If I owned a circus
for you I'd play the clown
(Do jugglers ever tire of throwing up?
Only when they're sick of it.)
or if I had a...

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I’m drunk, but you’re beautiful,
a line I used to rehearse.
The Dreamers’ artistic longing felt noble,
but it came with a curse.
I bought the ticket when I...

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Saint Paddy’s Day came and it went.
A gastronomical event.
	the food was spot on,
	my arteries groan
I’m sorely in need of a stent!...

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The goblin was wobblin’ along,
Tipsy and singing a song.
It’s hard to cause fright,
When sober not quite,
He hadn’t the heart to do wrong.
...

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A sleuth who thought truth too uncouth
Invented a villain named ‘Ruth’.
Her crimes, though quite quaint,
Compelled him to faint,
Reviving his nerves with vermouth.
...

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when holded Earle a too large cup
of water heapied one inch up
drankied drankied Earle guzzler
and wetted chin and all his beard
slurping gulping could be heard
‘til...

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A man, more patrician than not,
Of folly, he had quite a lot.
Stentorian voice,
But words of poor choice,
A sot, not a yacht, had he bought....

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Pop, pop, pop, a symphony of glee,
A sugary delight, a joy to see.
Pop, oh Pop, your sweetness takes my soul,
A daily dose, I crave to...

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I'm writing on your heart with a faint ink,
you have to look so close without a blink
to understand you must really think
and when you do,...

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Just fresh out of one of our drinking bars,
I looked up to the sky and saw some stars,
Drunkenness whispered to me t'was midday,
Why will stars...

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Chardonnay the cat 
likes to drink toilet water 
and stumble around 
...

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  Gene went for a dip in the local pool
  His swimsuit was loose, he thought it was cool
    ...

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Oh me oh my
I work all the time
I honestly just feel like a tiny fly
In this large world full of crime

I wonder what is my...

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