Life Without You
Life without you
in cold desert sand,
I walk without shadow,
the sun too tired to care.
Alone in the place I used to know,
walls whisper your name in cracks and corners,
but you never answer.
Silence moved in where your voice used to be.
The rooms are getting smaller,
the windows won’t open,
time has folded in on itself
only the ache expands.
I no longer feel the seasons.
Spring forgot me.
Summer lost its colour.
And autumn,
autumn just watches me unravel.
Winter stays forever.
It crept into my chest and made a home,
built a bed beside my ribs,
and now it breathes with me
slow, cold, constant.
Even dreams have turned grey.
Even my tears freeze midfall.
I speak to the air
as if you might reply.
You don’t.
Because only on my mind you exist
Categories:
depressed., absence, betrayal, confusion, dream,
Form: Free verse
When all I want to do is cry?
Even while immersed in this high.
When all I want is to die
With little to no reasons as to why.
When all I want is to lie,
Say "I'm okay," so they won't pry.
When all I want to do is sigh
As I am aware her end is near nigh.
When all I want is to fly,
But there is no way I can ever try.
When all I want is to pry
The lock open, even as things go awry.
When all I want is to just cry
For as long as before she will die.
When all I want is to retry
My life, to resolve issues as to why:
Categories:
depressed., cancer, death, depression, grief,
Form: Quatrain
Depression,
It’s a silent killer.
It’s like being stabbed in the back,
But it’s Invisible.
The pain is sharp, sure,
And your screaming at the top of your lungs,
However to everyone else it's as if you lost your voice
You're powerless.
And so you just sit there;
You feel paralyzed,
While the world keeps moving, and moving, and moving, and moving,
And you're just stuck.
That's depression to me.
Categories:
depressed., anxiety, cry, deep, depression,
Form: Free verse
They say it’ll pass
it’ll get better the longer it lasts
They say what’s done is done
but i don’t feel like i’ve won
You took my heart
tore it, broke it, till it fell apart
Now you play the victim
the hole you created, i sit in
I don’t want to become
the monster i’ve come from
Obsessed with yourself, with fame, with money
then you sit and describe her like sweet honey
You say it was harmless
a friendship, nothing more, but now I’m the farthest
You lied with a smile, called in love with a grin
while I drowned in silence, you let her in
In my silence, I find space to breathe
while all you do is leave, leave, leave
She pulls the strings
and I watch horror as the show begins
She has you at her beck and call
and you forget me as I suffer in school
You left me stranded, no reason, no clue
while she became your favourite view
You watched me break, still walked away
now I drown slowly, in the pain that you gave me
Some day you will pay
Categories:
depressed., 8th grade, absence, betrayal,
Form: Couplet
I am the ghost inside my chest,
Unseen, unheard, yet never at rest.
I drift through halls of memory,
Where joy once lived but fled from me.
My breath like frost, my blood runs cold,
A whisper trapped in hands grown old.
I wear regret like funeral lace,
And see the world through sorrow’s face.
The mirror knows what I conceal—
A heart too numb, a pain too real.
Each beat, a knock from deep within,
A past that scratches at my skin.
I haunt my name, I haunt my days,
A soul lost in time’s cruel haze.
They think I smile, but cannot see
The grave I built inside of me.
But still I ache, though silence wins,
To feel the sun beneath my sins.
For ghosts can hope—though dim, suppressed—
To one day find peace at last.
Categories:
depressed., death, depression, gothic, grief,
Form: Elegy
Dried-up,
___a stream___
in the moor, no-man’s land.
When a soul dares near—
a gunshot blooms
/ Red /
the barren soil
will feast on
anything.
You said amid this desert stands
—an oasis—
A land of innocence, but where you crown sins.
(Greedy, yes,
but that’s all humanity ever is.)
I begged you to point me to the shrine
yet I am left stumbling,
...blind...
Before what was left
of the roads once promised direction—
I drop
to my knees,
cracked soil tears my skin.
In no-man’s land—
there are no breaths ahead.
Categories:
depressed., confusion, corruption, depression, fate,
Form: Free verse
When the world hates you
It's such a lonely place
Crawling out of bed each day
Forgotten in each and every way
Grasping at straws to build nest
Every minute is a torturing test
Blow away by unkindness
Held together buy a fine web
Of sorrow and unhappiness
Each word thrown your way
Cut like a knife through softened clay
Leaving a scar and empty space
Not winning at life's pointless race
Burdened by life's past actions
Push till they get their reaction
Life is a lonely road
Where you must walked alone
Indeed I need a angel
Or a new end to my fable
Last year I grew up to late
To now realize my fate
Of a life not to be enjoyed
But to be endurable enough
To make getting up tomorrow
Seem like a plan living on time borrowed
To hate is to love and to love is to hate
Will I ever be happy with my fate
Categories:
depressed., anger, anxiety, blue, fate,
Form: Rhyme
I was a girl with no life
Or a being with no purpose.
I had no one compassionate,
Although my soul was always nervous.
The life I barely built in those years,
Came crashing down to a point..my eyes were in tears.
There was nothing I could do, powerless to intervene,
Even God didn't care when I let out a scream.
I tried hard to build of my life something new,
But hatred is all I got.. Why? I had no clue.
I felt like a beast trapped in metal chains,
Waiting to be free from the heart to the veins.
A heart waiting to be nurtured and cared,
Only to be thrown into the merciless fire that flared.
The eyes that were filled with joy at a time,
Now brimmed with tears that weren't worthy a dime.
Categories:
depressed., abuse, cry, depression, grief,
Form: Rhyme
I run my hand across my wrist,
The rough scars feel normal under my fingers,
But to anyone else, they would be foreign.
I was a fighter, I had to be,
But everything has its consequences.
Running the blade across my own wrist was mine,
It was the only way for me to feel something.
Since I was small I was forced to be strong,
But a child should not need to be strong.
I wasn’t even 14 and I had to fend for myself,
I had to pick up my broken pieces.
The scars on my body tell that story,
They are reminders of my pain.
I run my hand across my wrist,
The rough scars remind me that I will survive,
I did before, and I will now.
Categories:
depressed., anxiety, death, self, suicide,
Form: Free verse
you asked me how to walk with scissors
I said my dear,
that's so bizarre
that's like asking how to get to Georgia
without using planes or cars,
a better man
than myself
would've told you
darling
if you wanted to learn how to walk with scissors
you're better off crawling
you hold them by the blade my love
just like you did to me
you tell me that you love me babe
but I cant stand to watch you leave
I'll watch you walk out that house
I cant tell fact from myth
I begged you just to stay a while
then you walked out,
with the scissors you stabbed me with
now I told you how to walk with scissors,
how could you do that to me?
now I know to hold on tight
because the scissors belong to me
Categories:
depressed., 10th grade, analogy, lonely,
Form: Rhyme
Did you ever feel your heart break and begin to cry
Sit Back my friends and I’ll tell you why
A friendship developed, beautiful like fresh fallen snow
Then she says soon she will go
You always knew this day would be here
Until this moment you did not know it was near
So you sit in the dark, and tears fill your eyes
You try and accept she will soon say goodbye
Try to imagine life without her in my daily life
Days will be long, and sadness will fill my nights
I will cherish the memories and good times we had
But will it be enough to not be so sad
They say hold on to memories and cherish the dreams
But My love for her makes me want to scream
I wish with all my heart she did not have to go
And may the time we have left will go by slow
Nika, I will always love you with all my heart
You truly grabbed my soul right from the start
Every day we have been together life has been dream
Please don’t forget me and listen for my scream.
I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND
Categories:
depressed., cheer up, cry, farewell,
Form: Rhyme
Suffering wounds deep inside/
Felt like I been/
Sliced up by a switchblade/
Chopped to pieces/
Mind, heart and soul/
They keep beating/
On a scale of life support/
Suffering wounds, never ending/
Never to be fully restored/
Each day that goes by/
Just makes it hurt more/
The invisible switchblade/
On the inside/
Feels like Edward Scissorhand/
Soul is screaming to be tended to/
The mind is in a wreck/
Like jigsaw blades/
Heart is in a fight/
For it's life/
With restricting bands/
Tightening a person/
Spinning the wrench for more pain/
Causing life long suffering/
For a crime/
I never committed/
Categories:
depressed., anger, betrayal, corruption, dark,
Form: Free verse
In an invisible body of glass,
Where the brain feels it should strike.
The eyes have its frequent eye wash.
The mouth obliged to keep silent.
The heart feels siffened in a cage of its own.
Happiness tries to creep in, overtaken by sadness.
Depression buries energy and strength.
Living is not a favourite word anymore.
Lies are being exalted, truth is abased.
Dishonesty seems like a culture.
Compliments is toxic, insult is the antidote
Communication is a catastrophy.
Love is a word that don't exist
Appreciation is nameless.
Support agrees with credit in good situation.
Not bad situation.
Um, you stand alone.
Categories:
depressed., feelings, pain,
Form: Prose Poetry
Freedom calls out to me,
just over the railings.
Freedom dances,
just out of reach
Freedom sings,
”Abandon your jailer, abandon Life
Abandon your duty, abandon Life,
Jump over the railings,
and join me in death.”
Desire possesses me,
a promise of freedom offered
with a heavy price to pay.
Behind the railings hide
A choice that may cost my life
Hesitations hold me back,
Ropes of responsibilities restrain,
Buried under building burdens.
Forced to forfeit my freedom.
You have clipped my wings,
Cries of desperation pulling me away.
I am bound. Trapped. Chained.
Won’t you set me free?
Categories:
depressed., angst, dark, depression, perspective,
Form: Free verse
Where has my smile run off to?
Oh, I don't pretend that it's gone entirely,
that it doesn't make any appearances.
But that's not the dilemma.
It doesn't stay for long,
doesn't have a home here anymore -
and that's what I mean to decry.
When you say that you've broken down
on the side of the road,
it's supposed to mean your car.
Not the wash of memories in the morning,
the pressure smacking you the moment you wake,
the toil of every godless-damned second.
Every day I want nothing more than rest;
but it flees from the sight of me,
cackling at the daily victory of its whim.
I want it back, all of it -
my smile, my sleep...
them.
When folks talk about grave robbers,
usually they mean some nefarious men
desecrating the dead, pilfering the perished.
In my case, the roles are reversed.
The six, the slain, those stolen from me,
while it's not their fault...
They are the thieves.
Categories:
depressed., death, death of a
Form: Free verse
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