Humorous Chastushka Poems

She reported everyone for everything
She called IRS, medical boards and more
On Tuesday she got a ring-a-ding-ding
A misinformed SWAT team broke down her door...

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In Russia do not drink is infraction
if not vodka it causes rejection
whoever is abstemious is screwed
 must live cloistered and booed...

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Putin has a delightful smirk
When lying through his teeth.
Now, he no longer faces a jerk
Who fears that he’s beneath.

written July 10, 2021...

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Former President Trump
Sat on his awesome "yhuge"rump,
Dreaming of having his ultimate revenge
While on a drug and vengeance Benge.

note:  misspelled huge as "Yhuge" because the...

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2020 drove me to disappear,
2021 is almost here.                 ...

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Sliding in a hurry down the chimney,
Santa lost one fur-lined fancy boot.
As a return gift the lovely house lady 
gave him a sock for the...

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Year - end night here waits to birth 
Lovelier princess, vaccine girl   
Mountain high does labour earth  
Squeaking rat now, leaps for...

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I pray Yule have a joyous Christmas with your relations,

And that Santa will more than meet your expectations!

'Tis the Season for joy, never for feeling...

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My New Year’s resolution
is one I cannot break
A common sense solution -
this year I won’t partake!

Christmas Chastushka - Rules Revised Poetry Contest

Sponsored by Andrea Dietrich

12/17/20...

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This year, everyone is taking turns in the loo
Since Aunt Judy used Ex-lax in the fruitcake
She didn't know she’d create so much poo
Nor cause us...

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Meinchef hides his nesting dolls
Afraid his wife would be mad
In the Kremlin’s palace walls
Prettiest dolls he’s ever had....

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Down at the local health club site
Where barbells clank with muscled might
The biggest display of competitive pace
Is muscling for the closest parking space

11 September 2014...

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I put money in the stock market, knives were cut sharply
diapers remained unchanged and paper was stationery
toilet paper touched a new bottom, switches were off
feathers...

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I thought I could love a Russian Girl.
Her lips were divine, pretty like a rose
She was lovely, with the cutest curl.
Why couldn't I stop looking...

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I must stop eating Snickers
I can’t fit in my knickers
Have less food on my plate
Won’t moan about my weight

08~23~14
Written for Chastuska Me Contest
Sponsored by Dr...

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