Unexpectedly, I heard she was still alive.
She had been living (as a flame),
in a room
I had made for her in my mind.
I had kept her there tucked away,
sedated and forever young.
Now I hear she is alive, though a little arthritic,
and living in Sussex with four cats.
Of course, the affair must now cease.
The fantasy cauterized,
her body heat squeezed out of my bloodstream
like a spicy toothpaste.
I should hate for her to see me as I am now
besides my own youth has become a ghost to me,
but perhaps just one more time
I will enter that secret place
where I know
she waits for me, still smiling seductively.
Categories:
cauterized, poetry,
Form: Free verse
What foul wind has blown them shut
Let shadowed fingers seize a heart
Silence the drumming beat of truth
Closed the doors betwixt age and youth
How has the acrid stench of doubt
Cauterized once open minds
Denying all but what they fear
Rebut with silence all they hear
Then tout with words of dueling gods
The evils of each others words
Unleashing with vitriolic breath
A love of life now steeped in death
The Wizards world a dream uncertain
Controlled by those behind the curtain
Categories:
cauterized, america, confusion, political,
Form: Sonnet
Broken soldiers
Splintered dreams
Huddled
The horror of now
Haunted
By the horrors of then
Scarred, sutured,
But as yet
Un-cauterized
Wounds
Forever bleeding
Into their present
Categories:
cauterized, anger, soldier, war,
Form: Free verse
It was as if all vengeance
was set to touch down here
upon the blazing waters
of the bay. The air turning
fiery red and a big sun burning
through into the sealed
catacombs of the head.
But in truth all was passing
in an earthly quiet save
for the solitary cry of a gull
riding the last light home
to roost and the sound
of water lapping the pier.
In another time everything
was cauterized
by a smothering fear
and found no voice.
Demons carried
a white hot cross.
The colors of a setting sun
gave to eyes a palette
to paint the furnaces of hell.
Now - here in this light
and in these distances spanning
the bay's wide waters,
small boats move
and leave fiery wakes
upon the mind that linger
for a while
then heal to a reflective still.
The evening settles back,
as old men do,
into a deepening silence.
Categories:
cauterized, sunset,
Form: Free verse
It was a dragging argument
For the need to funds augment:
Ten voices in Duke's Department,
Their owners in Fred's Apartment;
Not sure of Duke's contentment
With talks on firm's new investment:
Mention of fridge,no compartment...
All men shouting: poor comportment!
"This company is reputed,
Even as it is refuted"
Still motives being imputed;
To staff's quest for The Computed..."
Demanding The Computerized;
Not having staff characterized,
A chapel for The Lutherized,
Sick bay for sores not cauterized,
Release of machines customized,
Ears for complaints though glottalized;
The work load of staff minimised...
"Profit shall still be maximised."
Audio-Wise And Odd symphony
Staff's voiced thoughts on 'strong company'.
Categories:
cauterized, absence, allusion, cry,
Form: Rhyme
Not knowing she were alive or dead,
I kept her memory sedated
in the three-walled room.
Now I hear she is alive
(though a little arthritic),
and living in Sussex with four cats.
Of course the affair now must cease,
the fantasy cauterized.
I won’t, after all these years,
visit her.
I may write a letter,
with a promise to call one day,
but she will not be there anymore
and nor will I.
Categories:
cauterized, poetry,
Form: Free verse
beat, bellow and decay,
is there nothing more,
cold liquid crimson,
colorful tainting,
fallen from within,
down dark corduroy,
to the bridge's end,
descending stairway,
plunge into the abyss,
baptism by fire,
cauterized spirit,
fresh wounds pass away,
clear the dross,
to set the stage,
away with held breathe,
how it kills us,
to learn, to listen,
freedom within dependence,
the scent of melon,
the night fragrant,
senses awakened,
memories lead on,
through velvet poetry,
softly sleep soothes,
lines drawn with the shades,
where sand buries lies,
these translucent chameleons,
change like water,
the cages weaken,
relinquish their quarry
Categories:
cauterized, metaphor, moving on, poetry,
Form: Free verse
SATURATED IN SOLITUDE
The sweat and toil of snowflakes fall like great big oaks.
Silent when no one’s around to hear, but I hear them call.
I sweep the bounty flakes with the soul of my boot. Folks
absent from this flight of serenity, solitude of downy strokes.
The tip of my tongue cleansed. Soap petals after the brawl.
Shivering satisfaction, saturation of snow queen’s court.
My hair ribboned in whitest white of purity and regal right.
Eyelashes gather wisdom’s chill, woolen hands wield forte
of legible knowledge. My sacred head cauterized in port.*
Saturated in solitude, my bruises and scars see the light.
4/16/2018
Laura Loo’s Rhyme Time 2
Fictional account
*port - sweet wine
Categories:
cauterized, abuse, silence, snow, wisdom,
Form: Rhyme
I'm thinking I have a disease
Despair has gripped me by my feet
Dragged me down to the cold floor
And used me until I couldn't take it anymore
I found a cure to eternal life
Slower and longer than a rusty knife
But it hits me just the same
Cauterized with a smoky flame
My throat is burning
Fingers turning
Over a lighter and a smoke
And my brow is soaked
How long til something finally breaks?
How long until it's more than I can take?
I'm too exhausted to even talk
I'm being worn down like the smoothest rock
I try to strike the match again
Burned my fingers and my smoky brain
A sudden fear comes back to me
Won't you come help me lose my memory?
It's getting easier
To fail to please her,
My addiction to despair
Is stronger than for air
I'm a victim of my own design
I am my own executioner
I'm a victim of my own design
I am my own worst enemy
Categories:
cauterized, addiction, angst, depression,
Form: Lyric
BROKEN HEARTED
I loved greatly a man
Who loved me not
I offered all I had to no avail
I fell head over heels
I acted foolishly
And now I pay dearly
To love and
to not be loved in return
Is a grievous assault on my emotions
My heart is mangled
My mind is in turmoil
I know not which way to go
Or what to do
A desolate man I am
For the love I craved
Was never given me
A series of heartbreaks littered our tango
The fantasy in my mind blotted
All but what I wished to hear
See
Or feel
I was as ignorant as I truly wanted to be
My hopes have been cauterized from my psyche
Reality now inflicts severe trauma
Maiming me
I now see that my love has no reciprocity
Alone I am now
Still wishing you would come back to torment me
I crave any contact
I can regain with you
How I wish I could banish my loneliness
And find myself close to you
A broken heart I will ever have
I will pine to eternity
For more than the friendship
You never offered me
Categories:
cauterized, depression, relationship,
Form: Prose
striving endlessly to
preserve her/himself in
amber,
having spent no time to pop out
the biological pez that 99% of others do,
rather instead,
working to put more
cultural seed out into the
world,
s/he would be at a loss,
the greatest that s/he had ever known,
if in fact,
s/he was found to be interesting
in the eyes of the easily pleased, neon,
five second exposure,
that makes & breaks those who
might’ve spent a lifetime
creating a vast amount of precious
things,
which generations later
might be able to use
in order to stand on the proverbial giant’s
shoulders &
keep the wave splashing up against the
shore of
continuous
creativity---
the irony is that to be found is to be
decided upon, evaluated &
shelved, whilst one is still alive &
breathing,
killing one’s greatest love so quick
with the label of
“style”---
as if reinvention & the fun that accompanies
an artist doing so,
would be cauterized by the consuming
public.
Categories:
cauterized, life,
Form: Free verse
the mirror takes no
prisoners, for it doth
reflect all the ugliness that
composes the present &
very real
you
that stares back,
smashing again & again
with fists full up to the brim
with conglomerated
rage---
it grows back,
faster than the hydra,
whose tentacles lash back
in the face of all
uncompromising
&
stark
reality---
with the ambition of youth
burnt away,
barely noticeable in the
ashtray of one’s fading
existence
&
the future curling up ahead
in a brand new open
flame---
balancing on the high wire
like Kurtz’s snail
slinking along the
razorblade---
hating that so much is lost &
dreading that so much is left to
live,
with all the good memories
echoing like a searing pain that
cannot be cauterized,
yet cannot be followed up with
any newness
whatsoever---
minus the regenerative power of
the broken mirror that
reveals all cruel deterioration,
Orwell’s laughing in his grave,
for the deserved image of
50 is driving rapidly like an
oncoming train &
you better believe that
there
are
no
brakes.
Categories:
cauterized, life, mirror,
Form: Free verse
Counting crows crackle to be free
The cauterized blessing you sold to me
Hangs by the door nail in tombstone majesty
What did we say
When blackholes stripped breath away
Are the promises murdered in flight
Sharpening again in poise of night
Electronic souls dash and torn
The emblem of false exchange is born
When you gave what we agreed
Something missing in hearts seeking relief
Now the misused caliber rocks and treads
Calligraphy on the wall, stories we feed
When rumination pursues without ease
Or tear from history when we please
Categories:
cauterized, animals, romance,
Form: Free verse
On this seashore djinn
Halcyon echoes ebb and flow
Cauterized banter scrapes by
As bath water bubbles march together
At the dock yard dalliance
Ruffled men shake their sails
Top hats and whales nailed down
Striking the flash iron for new waves
Dress up ladies dash their spice
Holding tongue for murmurs and rights
A fine detective ensemble segues
Family dinner bells and porch lights
We are all splashed around
Anchors down and cartons crashed
Searching for the right trade
To mingle and go on our way
Categories:
cauterized, adventure, animals, business, fantasy,
Form: Free verse
A thousand midnights tread,
Highwire circus acts
Traversing the lavender Horizon-crease;
I memorize such sudden perforations,
Keep them under my swollen tongue
Only to purge them gracelessly
Back into your fist.
Replace my stumbling almost-words
With vastness:
A self-induced universe freckled by
Cauterized cigarette burn stars
And half empty beer cans.
I fill my lungs with feral smog,
You fill your head with smoke;
My nose trickles blood freely.
And if it was not for such ongoing facades--
Psuedointelect, rabid romances,
My world on unstable axis--
We might have,
By now,
Enshrined our Hearts in plaster molds,
Traded our eyes for seaglass pebbles.
The cherry blossoms have yet to bloom under
This hemisphere of the city:
Bare branches claw against dusk
and, in masochistic frost,
You burn your fingerprints into
My back.
"You Must Set Yourself on Fire"
Jenna-Nichole Conrad
Wordsmith
Categories:
cauterized, allegory, faith, history, hope,
Form: Free verse
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