Butterball Bird
O Butterball Bird, please stop resisting
and get into the sink, for a seasoned bath
Then jump into the roasting pan, so you can bake,
in the hot oven and have a shower of broth.
Believe me, I know how you feel;
rejoining the clan isn't possible in this life-
You're here in answer to our prayer
Oh, Butterball Bird, this is where you're supposed to be.
Thanksgiving Day being the same old routine
As a Turkey, it makes them mean
Fork and Knife
Turkey Find
Butterball type
Turkey ax
Dig in feast eat
Year after year same drill
The Turkey being the one to fulfill
Woo’s me no more
As Turkey Freddie says, he’s hitting the road
Greyhound bus bound
Inspirated and encouraged sound
Traveling away from Thanksgiving Day scene
No cutting on me
New horizons being the enterprising frontier
Vacation laid back
Sunny Florida
Embracing the Florida sun
Nothing but sheer fun
Soaking up the beach, and no thought of Thanksgiving among
Peace and tranquility
Refreshing reality
Other Turkeys can Gooble Gooble if they want to
Calm relaxing thoughts
Having no dive of the folk and knife
Making sure I stay lean
Let the folks at dinner tables be mean
Turkey Freddie will be working on his tan
Thanksgiving folks are not his fan
While cut shall be done on Turkey Freddie
Oven away
Busy on a getaway
Turkey Freddie eat won’t be seek.
The 20-pound butterball turkey rests
On a table laden with condiments;
We bow our heads, reach out our hands and bless
And say grace which presupposes our content.
But as we eat, the elephant harrumphs
To lead our banter and wordplay astray,
We assert on Gaza or butterball Trump
Or some other donnybrook of the day.
Alas, the turkey is now quite slighted
And acrimony stuffs the upper hand;
Our argued points are skewed with gestured knife,
Though not a one convinced to alter stand.
Afterward, leftovers are jammed into
Vacuum bags should we choose to someday use.
butterball turkey buzzed one day
five whole bustops outside L A
passenger lenny
says good thing henny
you're featured in todays buffet.
People yelled to Humpty, “DON'T FALL!”
But Humpty never listens, he's a stubborn butterball
Came tumbling down
His undies turned brown
“Not The Brightest Egg” someone did call
THE WAX CRIES WITH HAPPINESS
Mom’s up early with the plucked bird, stuffing it.
The bare rinsed butterball, portions for six.
All day our mouths water, stomachs pitching a fit,
as we wait for the skin to crisp...delicious drumsticks.
Potatoes peeled and pressured, mashed, stirred
with butter, milk, salt and pepper...licking lips.
Jolly Green Giant beans heated, (sixties were absurd)
Likewise the floop from a tin can...cranberry flips.
Father and son, thankful for the football game. I
just hear static. Mother’s in her apron, sweating.
I just remember sights, smells, sounds...I sigh.
The basics of love — the cornucopia begetting.
Afterwards our bellies ballooning, but there’s pies,
piled with apple, rhubarb or cherry and Cool Whip.
The table adorned with long candles - the wax cries
with happiness. The unsetting done with thankful lips.
11/11/2019
Thanksgiving Memory Poetry Contest
Sponsor: Regina Riddle
SO or Silent One who is known to all
Our British connection, a mysterious butterball
Calls me Benny Hill
A connection if you will
Along with Python, made us giggle and guffaw
a butterball bumblebee
wandered close then stung my knee
after the attack
fearing I'd bite back
flew away the sneak she be
AP: Honorable Mention 2020
SO or Silent One who is known to all
Our British connection, a mysterious butterball
Calls me Benny Hill
A connection if you will
Along with Python, made us giggle and guffaw
People yelled to Humpty Dumpty, “DON'T FALL!”
But Humpty never listens, he's a stubborn butterball
Came tumbling down
His undies turned brown
“Not The Brightest Egg” someone did call
Butterball Turkey
not just a Thanksgiving thing
its good all year long
People yelled to Humpty Dumpty, “DON'T FALL!”
But Humpty never listens, he's a stubborn butterball
Came tumbling down
His undies turned brown
“Not The Brightest Egg” someone did call
© Jack Ellison 2015
Overheard at the annual convocation of a Butterball turkey flock:
"'Tis Thanksgiving again and as usual our necks are on the choppin' block!
Them pious Pilgrims began the tradition of dinin' on our hapless relations,
And ravenous *****sapiens have continued to do so fer many generations.
We're tired of 'em feastin' on our cousins, uncles, sisters and dads,
When there's tender chicken nuggets to be had by the scads and scads!
Now hear this dear brothers and sisters - this here's the bottom line:
We're gonna advertise that chicken is the better flesh upon which to dine!"
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) 2014 All Rights Reserved
had a crush on good ol’
“jesus,” but being that he
was all made up, s/he had
to settle for the
“jackhammer jesus,”
a big strong *****
invented to make one
cum in the name of the
“lord!”---
now, her/his best friend
had always wanted
“buddha,”
but much like “jesus,”
he was fake too, so
s/he had to settle for a
big fat butterball of a
blow up doll,
shaped like that
character &
s/he banged him under a
that bodhi tree---
whilst the horny christian &
the lusty buddhist
were pounding away their
“prayers,”
a jew & a muslim
sat together in a dark basement
straight out of that special
scene in
“Pulp Fiction,”
where Ving Rhames got bent over &
in front of them on that table they
had a few sex toys in the shapes of
sharp pointy stars & crescents---
deciding that the damage done to
the both of them might be so
severe that they wouldn’t be able
to worship their imaginary characters
later in the week,
the two put on the muhammad &
moses masks that they’d bought for
each other earlier that day &
began to french kiss through the holes
whilst groping in the leather suits,
bringing together civilizations which
for all this time had been at war
before this dawn of sloppy
sex.
Enveloped in the moonlight
The moon reflects her eyes
She'll never understand it
Even though she tries
She sits beside her window
Lost is distant thought
She ponders, ever waiting
For the answers that she's sought
She wonders about the dinosaurs
"Where did all of them go?"
"Why do we believe in global warming
Because Al Gore told us so?"
"How many licks does it take
To get to the center of a tootsie roll pop?"
"When the aliens land in a farmer's field
Who pays them for their crop?"
"Why are they always asking,
Do you want fries with that?"
"Why do all those Derby Jockeys
Have to were those funny hats?"
"Why is that purple dinosaur
That's on tv. still alive?"
She's seen a Butterball turkey
But what kind of turkey is jive?
She wanders why George Washington
Really cut down that tree?
And why are all the best programs
No longer on tv?
A question mark appears
And hovers over her head
Her husband says, "Knock it off, already,
And bring your butt to bed!"
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