Britches Poems

Bighead Loudmouth

Speaking out about what
he does not know
tho' saying it long and loud enough
will never make it so
and by the size of the sound
of the flute he toots
(or, is it his trumpet he blows?)
this Cockwomble's too big for his britches
he's way too big for his boots
as for he who shall not be named
for all the world to see
someone should pull out the rug
from under Mr. T.
take him down a peg or two
cut him down to size
as he lies then denies
it could be his downfall
it would be his demise

Britches

“Britches”
Miracle Man
2/7/2025

Today, his steps have slowed and back is bent,
and his days most gone afford slight acclaim.
But in thought he relives life without lament,
Knowing expended days he cannot reclaim. 

But his life has been lived with little regret,
and memory still retrieves a long passed friend. 
Today, with issues of health he is now beset,
and he contemplates time he’s yet to expend.

Attawitches

Wiccans do ride,
Our full moon tide,
Happy Halloween,
Magic is our scene,
Potions and charms,
Despite flabby arms,
Big girl britches,
Brooms aloft, attawitches!

Branch Britches

teribium,Curium,actinium
sheres of charcoal.
they seek such to
make generated dissisha.
samples the need
for energy.
the need to produce
the world wishes a
freedom from what
 currently exist.
Des-alpha motaium.

Britches 2

“Britches” 2
Written: by Miracle man
July 12, 2021

 His younger years are slowly becoming blurred,
some think he’s matured into a “tough old bird”.
He’s been sewed up, stapled, wired, and glued,
due to thirty five scars that he has accrued.

Each one of these markings has a story to tell,
One gives an account of hearing death bell’s knell.
His days are prolonged, oft leaving him stressing,
and he still looks to God for undeserved blessing.

To him, life has mirrored, some unsolved riddle,
morning thoughts are fixed on the “cross in the middle”.
He has a firm persuasion of what lies ahead,
and focuses on the cross where Jesus’ blood was shed.

Britches Idioms

Britches' Idioms
Composed: by Miracle Man
1/27/2021

“Britches” is now just a has been, an “ol’ used to be,”
though “he’s loaded for bear” he remains carefree.

 He’s faster than “a chicken on a Cheeto” at finger lickin,
life is tough, but “like a dead horse, he ain’t kickin.”

Once “tough as whet leather” he’s now top drawer,
but still tells “how the cow ate the cabbage” and more.

“From trimming tail feathers” he’s become somewhat scarred,
but like a cheap gun, “he shoots quick and kicks hard.”

“He’s as brave as the first man to eat an oyster” they say,
and “Britches” still believes, “that every dog has it’s day.”

“He was so busy you’d think he was twins” in his youth,
now “he has senior moments” being “long in the tooth.”

It’s been “A coon’s age” since life has been fun,
won’t be much longer until life’s “done and done.”

Sissy Britches

Man so brave we called him Sissy Britches.
One bee and he would dive into the ditches.
Terrified of fire,
One we couldn’t admire.
Killed during game by one of the pitches.

We did not hate him now that he was dead.
And learned pretty quickly his name was Fred.
He became a saint.
Memories a taint.
Put up a statue made of metal – lead.

Pull Up Your Britches

These are very trying time I'd say
Try this, try that, but the results are the same
Let's pull up our britches
Turn on the switches
Attack till this virus is shot down in flames

Britches Treasures Earth Vs Heaven

Britches Treasures 
Earth VS Heaven
By: Tom Wright
6/11/98

Because of his ego but mainly greed,
"Britches" Endured much while chasing gain.
He stockpiled things he did not need,
putting loved ones in great strain.

As He glances backwards toward his birth,
life's accomplishments along with gain.
Now with his days numbered here on earth,
will soon be others, he won't remain.

"Britches" greatest possession on that day,
not earthly things though they be much.
But what his Lord and Savior will say,
you've lived for me and felt my touch.

I gave earthly gifts beyond compare,
for treasures in Heaven "Britches" did lay.
While some may reason life is not fair,
there'll be much rejoicing that day.

Britches and the Train

Britches and the Train
Written: by Tom Wright
10/14/99

Two long tracks lay parallel in fresh snow,
"Britches", being inquisitive,  asked his Dad, where do they go?
He said, “they cross our streams and many a street",
then pointed to the horizon where they appeared to meet.

"They race across flat lands, around curves and up the hill,
running side by side, though all the while, standing still".
"They crisscross this nation without fanfare or flair,
never seeming to tire from the great load they bear".

"Britches" first saw smoke then in a distance, a cry,
then hugged his Dad's leg as a black monster came by.
Now you can take this as fact, or consider It's source,
but "Britches" had just witnessed, his first  "Iron Horse".

Britches and His Shadow

"Britches"
and His Shadow
Written: by Tom Wright
8/14/00

The faster down life's road he would travel.
Whether "Britches" feet were slow or throwing gravel.
He said  "There's this shadow always chasing me".
On sunny days, It's mostly then that I see.

He related, that as a boy, he'd try to run away.
But no matter how fast, it would always stay.
At times when it appeared at his side or to the front.
He'd try his football move, a head fake and stunt.

Not seeming to matter though what he would do.
To his left or right, it proceeded there too.
On overcast days it could never  be found.
But still he took notice, thinking it somewhere around.

He'd look to the forefront and then to the rear.
Being caught unaware, was his ever-present fear.
The only safe havens that "Britches" seemed to see.
Was in the faint shadows of other objects and trees.

For into darkened places this shadow wouldn't go.
And as for why it pursued him, "Britches" never did know.
But fearful of his own shadow wasn't how it would be.
As "Britches" whooped from the shade, you're the one scared of me.

Britches First Real Kiss

"Britches First Real Kiss"
Written: by Tom Wright
8/16/00

"Britches" talked to "Sweetie"
about stealing another kiss.
She told him stealing was wrong,
and there was something amiss.

He said he'd been borrowing,
and had intent to repay.
Why shucks, he'd pay interest,
if adequate, one kiss a day.

But "Sweetie", being smarter,
than he'd been led to" reken".
Desired a smack mouth kiss,
no more of his cheek "peckin".

So that fine day while aiming,
at "Sweeties" lower cheek.
From the corner of her eye,
she took a subtle peek.

As his face approached hers,
"Sweetie" was about to come to grips.
An abrupt turn of her head,
and Bam, "Britches" nailed her on her lips.

Their lips stayed together,
as if everlastingly stuck.
This was better than the carnival,
and that kiss cost him a buck.

"Britches" imagined that he saw stars,
and thought the ground did quake.
It seemed nigh on two minutes,
before lips parted and either spake.

From that day looking forward,
the cat was out of the sack.
"Britches" had kissed his "Sweetie",
and his "Sweetie" had kissed him back.

Summer On the Farm As Related By Britches

Summer on the Farm
As Related By Britches
By:Tom Wright
8/7/2006

Britches gets up early
To greet the breaking of dawn,
A stretch, a scratch,
And if sleepy, a yawn;

Old Elsie the cow
Anxiously awaits his pull,
He hopes when they’re done
His buckets near full;

Later he’ll throw
The chickens some scratch,
By then his mom will yell ”Pancakes”
And he’ll go eat a batch.

Tater peelings and buttermilk
Will make up scraps for the hog,
And while he’s at it
He’ll sail a biscuit to the dog.

Then with four buckles on
It’s off he goes to the silo,
For his fair entry’s ration
Of molasses and Milo. 

The gate still needs fixin
On the property that they lease,
And his mother’s making pillows 
So she’ll need down from the geese. 

He’ll re-pen that Billy
And put the piglets with sow,
Fork hay in the mangers
And head out to plow.

He’ll spend untold hours
Following a mule named Blue,
Which causes me to ponder
Who was smarter of the two?

Britches next year graduates
Bringing news quite alarming,
That whatever life’s role
It would not include farming.

Too Big For His Britches

The eagle mocked the owl 
who was tethered by a string
and ended up in bird-lime
that caught him by the wing.

Owl said to eagles
escape if you can
for you'll soon be mock
by the swift knife of man.

It Busted My Britches

Was totally overwhelmed by your Birthday wishes
From all over the world, it busted my britches
I apologize if I missed one
I completely came undone
I'm sending you all a bunch of love and kisses


© Jack Ellison 2015

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