Hate Bridal Shower Poems

The destiny in a stirred syrup. A two-string one. 
Condensed, sticky and uncomfortably glued to a cause. 
A mono in nature. 
Like a skilled handyman,...

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Maid

My maid of honor, 
my best friend, (smile)
help me in the moment, 
help me in the hour, 
help me make it down... 
the great white...

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She brought her bestfriend
Said they're from the West End
We all dancing and jumping
Rum is the flavor we intend
You should se the way their bodies bend
Both...

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Looking back, one thing comes clean-glass clear
you were always there for me subduing every fear.

I tried to do my duty, be a husband strong and...

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I heat up the stove and throw oil in the pan
I watch as the grease pop
Here comes the eggs man
Don't let the cooking stop
Once the...

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I was walking down the street
As fast as pistol Pete
It was nice and warm out
I was just walking my regular route
My legs were getting tired
This...

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No pants rick
Rick never wore no pants or any kicks
He always walked around with nothing but a shirt
Ones he fell and landed on his legs,...

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My wife is a piece of junk
I think she is just a punk
Shes a freaking munk
She wont fight
But she will bite
Shes so dang disgusting
and she...

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If only I had a wife
I would hate my life
I couldn't imagine staying with someone forever
Unless their clever
I sort of wish I could buy my...

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I like to eat stuff
I'm not very buff
I think i'm pretty tough
My doctor says my health is pretty rough
My girlfriends name is ****
I hate her
She...

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Seduced by clichés of love,
We signed on for wedding doves,
Being at those wedding receptions, 
All clichés of norms' conventions,
Having a cream puff wedding day,
Was an...

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You called again this evening,
Had nothing good to say,
Right in stride,with the side you hide
And petty games you play.

I want to say I love you
But...

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