Break open the keg
Order them double now
Open your mouth for
Zymology ensures you'll
Empty that glass
Don't stop till you drop
Abandon your senses
You're up now
I'll have the same and one for me mate!
Why do you seek booze?
To numb pain – reality
Gives it all for free.
Crystaldj
June 2026
all booze hounds stay away
This tickled me and my gang today
we did not know the prissy ladies called us that
we ribbed each other, it gave us a new chat
Booze hound, booze hound, we said to each other
We laughed as loud as any soldier brother
Booze hound, booze hound, it tickled us that night
We were glad there were no prohibitionists in sight
Got the "Blues from Boos!"
Crowd Blew! "Booed" on "Blue Suede Shoes!"
Got the "Blues from Booze!"
Stunning beauty her face really was!
She was shaped more like a lovely vase.
Never for a one night stand!
Booze brewed my sins in bare hands!
Beer dragged my shame under my wife's claws.
Alcohol whispered lust to me firsthand,
I mistook my wife for a one night stand,
Drunkeness brought me the blame
Beer! Why put me into shame?
Booze then made me cry dry, tears of my gland.
8th October, 2024.
True truth... I've never heard of any liver
that was a friend of drink... no matter how noble it may be...
Scotch whiskey, French champagne, dirty-stemmed cane,
cachaça that killed the guard, Hemingway's piña colada
Artisanal beer (factory or home-brewed beer)
it can handle more or less a cup of tea... of boldo...!
the Sea drinks no booze
why then It has hangover
if drinks pure water
There’s no film set
There’s no Tom Cruise
Everyone dies
In front of you
And that is war
They give you a gun
Sent off with the meat
Shoot you in the back
Cos we never retreat
And that is war
When you enlist
They tell you it’s great
The army’s job is
Teach you to hate
And that is war
You’re free to kill
You’re free to rape
Do what you like
Coz there’s no escape
And that is war
There’s lots of booze
And a line of coke
Everyone will lose
And that’s the joke
And that is war
David Cox 21/05/24
Elements of a Dram
Earth, with a fertile ground used all year round
Strong and consistent and new growth persistent
A yield from a field, and a brood of oakwood
Fire, with the strike of a match, we start a new batch
Set smoke in a kiln and give life to a still
Begin the real process and start to excite our noses
Air, a gust bares a friend, anaerobic right till the end,
We lay it down with care and let the angels have their share.
Let’s give it some time, meanwhile I’ll write this rhyme
Water, so pure and clean, from the “world’s best” stream,
Drop-by-drop dilution, phenols and booze in solution
This ancient refreshment takes us closer to perfection
Spirit, In the base of a glencairn, it’s time for my tastebuds to learn,
I’ll give it a smell, a wee sip, and I can tell
That this for me, is exceptional whisky
Away on a booze cruise,
No beer left in stock.
They charged fifty dollars,
It was a real shock.
I complained it’s not fair,
I want money back.
We’re so sorry, they said,
We’ll give you a snack.
The food was disgusting,
The chef was a prick.
The waiter annoying,
I now feel sea-sick.
I hoyed in a bucket,
And over the side.
All for fifty dollars,
It felt like I’d died.
I want to go home now,
Hooray for dry land.
I’ll not booze cruise again,
I’ll stay on the sand.
He went home gaily after a few pegs
Fell onto his bed dangling his soiled legs
Blissfully fell asleep soon
His wife came calling him “loon”
Falling from bed, he felt her hefty kicks
May.19. 2023
Funny, Bawdy or Humorous Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsor- Tania Kitchin
10 syllables in lines 1, 2 and 5
7 syllables in lines 3 and 4
Boasting inanely,
After taking much booze
You are so bamboozled
Trying to woo some folks.
Singing , "
Boom ,
Bloom,
Hum...hum
Zoom in
the zoo
room.
Boost up
Boost up
Yooh!
Heh...heh! "
You are
boasting
your
stupidity
Unknowingly.
March 16/2023
By Alfonso Warally Ngengethe Mussabwa Chris
West of the Rockies,
North of the border.
Lay a little town,
Of law and order.
With one Tin Star,
And Deputies three.
Nobody transgressed,
Nobody but me.
On that fateful day,
Near the edge of town.
With my Colt 45,
Shot the Sheriff down.
I had whiskeyed head,
And bloodshot eyes.
On a stolen horse,
Was caught by surprise.
The Deputies three,
That I confounded.
Out of the shadows,
Had me surrounded.
With no other choice,
I dropped my gun.
Then raised my hands,
Under Noonday sun.
A few moments later,
I was put in a cell.
Waiting for the Judge,
To send me straight to Hell.
I was soon found guilty,
By a twelve-man jury.
Right up the gallows,
For the Hangman's fury.
As the trapdoor opened,
I couldn't help thinking.
This wouldn't have happened,
If I hadn't been drinking.
I just stood bewildered, staring
Specks of the sky slowly pass through the glass
Adding a frosty sheen to the scene
A soft, creamy dew passes through.
A boy standing by a mothball light
The dark entrance of nature exposed
The darkly hidden entrance of the mind
You may be in a slump, so
Don't muse about relying on this.
How the spindle works
It's different now, and it's pell-mell
Yet, notions have left my mind
My feelings and views are scattered
On my face, a faint answer shows.
Written: January 8, 2022
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