She was a less-than-truckload lady
Who’d signed a contract for the long haul
With the interstate driver she married.
But that trucker kept a bogus bill of lading
And a logbook full of lot lizard flings.
So now she’s rolling down the big slab
In her hubby’s bobtail bulldog,
His gooseneck flatbed stranded in the wings.
She’d just renewed her CDL for diesel;
Her unexpected dispatch wasn’t forced.
Her old man was a cracker-headed weasel.
She left him feeling semi divorced.
Semi divorced, like a rider unhorsed.
She took away his way to keep on trucking.
Semi divorced was the judgement, of course.
He fooled around with fire and got a f*cking.
What you say?
I say, he fooled around with fire and got a f*cking!
We hear dat.
It was a normal Tuesday in Kansas until a quarter to two
A Bengal cat came down on my head, it had big eyes of blue.
A British shorthair came flying by and landed on my knee.
Then a Sphynx and a Ragdoll. What was happening to me?
I looked up into the sky, and guess what I saw, my friend?
It was raining cats today, and it looked like they would never end.
An American Bobtail came down hard and fast. Landed on my foot.
Were they all determined to land on me? Next one as black as soot!
A Maine Coon was trying to stop herself, she landed in a tree.
I had to get a ladder to help her, and she ended up biting me!
An Abyssinian told me off, and a Persian gave me a scratch.
There were five hundred in all, and I was simply not a match.
I called the animal shelter, the fire department and 911.
They thought it was hilarious, came running to look at all this fun.
Sure it is humorous, I said but how many will I have to fix?
The news stations came and filmed it; we were on the news at six.
I am a cat what can I do you ask
oh the stories I could tell you
like I can purr, while sipping a flask
and I can fart just like Pepe Le Pew
oh the stories I could tell you
watch how I seal the fridge with a lick
and I can fart just like Pepe Le Pew
with my big fat paws I am pretty slick
watch how I seal the fridge with a lick
I'm part Bobtail part Balinese, not chinese
with my big fat paws I am pretty slick
so far I'm nameless, so if you please
I'm Part Bobtail part Balinese, not Chinese
I am impartial to darling but its your task
with my big fat paws I am pretty slick
if you put me in the sun, I will bask .
May 4, 2020
Bobtail Rabbit and Munchkin Hare.
Bobtail Rabbit and Munchkin Hare ran down to the cabbage patch,
where a cabbage they would share.
Then each have a cabbage before running away this is what
Bobtail and Munchkin would do each day.
Then farmer Giles said, "why that rabbit and hare will have to go.
So he sat with his shotgun for when they would show.
Now Bobtail and Munchkin both rabbit and Hare knew farmer Giles plan
so didn't go there.
They waited and waited for night time to fall before they ventured out at all.
They were sly and swift and knew just where to go.
Under the hedge so no-one would know.
Then they'd creep upon farmer Giles cabbage patch where Munchkin would nibble
and Bobtail kept watch. Then Bobtail would nibble while Munchkin stood guard.
When he saw farmer Giles pacing the yard.
As old farmer Giles spied them, he set his shot gun to fire.
But luckily Bobtail and Munchkin escaped through the wire.
Then under the hedge row they ran away.
They never went back another day, because Bobtail and Munchkin knew full well their fate, if old farmer Giles caught them, they'd be cooked on his plate.
Busy Wee Mouse.
Clean,clean,clean, spruce,spruce, spruce.
That's all I do all day long around my wee house.
I wouldn't mind if its Bobtail Rabbit he'd invited home for tea.
No! He invites Mrs Goose and she's too posh for me.
She'll have a wee peck here and a wee peck there.
She'll even be as nosy to go up a flight of stair.
So when she comes I'm ready for whatever she will do.
She'll waddle round until she's found her white feathers
turning greyish/blue.
But then to my amazement she strutted with a gasp.
With her beak beneath her wing
she declared with a mighty rasp.
Well Mrs mouse it's a rare privilege to be,
in the house of Mrs Mouse
to find you're as clean as me.
Limerick: Once a London Bobby wore a bobtail
Once a London Bobby wore a bobtail
Little girls pulled his leg by the tail
So he cut off his leg
They pulled his other leg
So he cut off his head to keep the tail.
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
She gasps in shallow puffs; eyes half – lit
Thick fur once ebon littering the floor
With a belly that dangled like a lump of yarn,
On a vicious night when stars grew still.
Candy used to greet me, wagging short tail
A ‘meow’ strengthening me through rough days
Pouncing on my lap, she always got her whims
Like extra tuna and balls to play hide-and –seek.
Slowly, a feline gait lost its usual prance
Went through her pain, as she did with mine.
Had a few mishaps before, yet Candy prevailed
A tough bobtail gifted with lucky streaks.
While she looked at me with a fading glimpse
My heart bore the holes, why now?
Aren’t cats supposed to have nine lives
When they told me, Candy had to rest.
As she whimpered her deepest last,
I couldn’t bear the cry, the whiplash.
Hugging the urn where she now lays,
The ninth was ours, in soul and remembrances.
Elegy Form Contest of Broken Wings
11/14/2013
nette onclaud
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