Young Mickey’s been drinking with Ewan
They’re bladdered and both begin spewin
But what can I say
On St Paddy’s Day
They’d finished all Ewan’s home brewin
03/18/21
It was a good morning until I woke up
to a yelp in the kitchen from a weak bladdered pup
he barked and he scratched at the door for a while
then peed on the carpet and cried without guile
It was a good morning until a wet broom
with a brown icky log that I had to exhume
sat in the corner by yesterday's hour,
I needed a coffee, he needed a shower !
It was a good morning until the phone rang
"can't pick him up... " I hung up with a bang
stuck with this poodle no manners had he
he pooped & he peed, just to aggravate me
Feb. 15, 2021
Paddy’s drinking with his buddy Shaun
In fancy dress as a leprechaun
To be part of the scene
They wear emerald green
and get bladdered before break of dawn!
Old Paddy supped ten pints of brown ale
And then drunk as a skunk, he turns pale
He stumbles to the right
And gets into a fight
Now Paddy’s languishing in the jail!
When sober he rings his wife Innis
Says ‘Darling, I drank too much Guinness’
And I cannot dispute
I got pissed as a newt
I’m begging you for your forgiveness!
(* the Gaelic name Innis means Island)
2/16/19
oh my god!, this is the best night ever!!
maybe a few more shots, and it might get even better
put some tunes on Mr DJ, i am ready for a rave
i have had soo many drinks, but i will try to behave
after jiggling around on the dance floor, i start to feel a little funny
i get a pain in my a**e, and a bubbling in my tummy
as i take a sit down, i begin to feel fine
then i realise, oh no, i haven't got time.
so hurrying as fast as i can and signalling to my friend
i try and get to the toilet before it comes out of both ends
uh oh too late, i get the urge to be sick
oh no, i think i just pooed a little bit.
no time to find a toilet, so a corner will have to do
its very dark in the club, so i find a corner, and do a poo
ah thats better
i head to the bar to get a drink to clear the sicky feeling from my throat
when someone from the corner shouts
"oi, you've just pooed on my coat"
as i look around i can feel everyone laughing a me
i am so drunk right now, that i can hardly see.
as the coat owner approaches, poo covered coat hand, at a very angry pace.
I open my mouth to apologise, and i throw up all over her face.