Best Weddings Poems
I never cry at weddings,
none shed, no apologies to say..
Though the days, up and gone,
how soon you've flown away.
I shared much of life without,
and would I ever will it..
were I to be so selfish,
and wish the same of you?
Just weakness in watery eyes..
moments precious now..
though my oh my, how few.
No, that would never do.
No, I never cry at weddings..
well, almost never..
do you?
Weddings used to be solemn.
Reverent.
No one spoke as they entered the church.
It was like a funeral only less flowers.
Super respectful air of silence.
Solemn occasion.
We took it seriously.
Even the children entered quietly.
If there was a peep, people looked.
The rites were serious.
The priest or minister walked up and we could not hear their shoes.
Beautiful music was played.
Groom and best man walked up first.
No grinning or talking.
We watched in silence.
Bridesmaids walked up a certain way.
Flower girl laid down petals in silence.
Ring bearer dropped the rings and no one laughed.
Reverent.
A solemn occasion
When the song came on, we all stood for the bride.
No one stands for the bride now.
Bride and groom are pulled in on a sleigh with their children
Wedding held in a pub. Everyone laughing, guzzling beer.
Minister got his license sending in two crackerjack box tops and five dollars.
If he is not funny enough, some guests leave.
Mountain oysters are on the bar.
Yucka Yucka. Marriage is over in three months.
White satin with lace trim,
Will make the perfect dress.
Wait until the groom sees!
With bouquet in hand you'll
Walk down the aisle with Dad.
Written vows are then pledged.
Welcome husband and wife.
7/28/19
The past few weeks have been so tough
As you can clearly see
Four funerals for us to attend
But its not made me teary
The first was Aedan’s he was a lovely young man
I worked with him at school when he was aged eleven
He told me then he wouldn’t be long on earth…
At aged 20 he now plays his x box in heaven
We attended Derek’s funeral the very next day
There were tears of laughter that’s all I can say
The vicar John is a hilarious guy
I could picture Derek laughing from his place in the sky
Vicar John told a joke about a priest and a nun…
I didn’t expect to laugh and have so much fun
The next funeral was for a lady called Jean
(You don’t usually attend a funeral for a person you’ve never even seen)
But the family needed help to rig up a PA system
So those in the overspill hall could join the service and listen
My husband and I had worked tirelessly
To install speakers and wires that no one could see
With microphones rigged the church service was relayed
And we joined in the hymns when the church organ played
We de-rigged the equipment and were given cakes and tea
The church goers were delighted and praised my hubby endlessly
Today we went to the funeral of Bob our lovely friend
He had bravely battled ill health right to the very end
My son came from London and he sat on the pew next to me
There was a massive smile for him from Bob’s wife named Mary
After the service she gave my son a huge hug and I heard her say
"Seeing you in church was the best thing to happen on this sad day"
In memory of Adean Kennaugh, Derek Nicholson, Bob Doyle and Jean Vernon
08-11-17
In Alaska they make crazy weddings
Participants endure some rough sledding
Bride and groom pledge to be true
In a large, freezing igloo
Consummation requires extra bedding
Three in number are the so valued events in modern life,
Yet each are harbors of different types of strife,
Each having a separate sharpness although all are part of the same knife,
Opening with the deceitful crown known as a birthday,
In youth it is all you await to say,
With treasured time constantly passing your age turns it into just another loathed day,
Weddings so vile and juvenile,
The average conjoining of two families for love of two who must find a way cause they be
with child,
When divorce happens perhaps next time you'll know in the beginning it's not worth while,
The truth-teller and savior of this winding game called life is only our tomb,
Funerals are our cradle and our release to death the truest womb,
Pray it comes swifter than any lightning and twice as powerful as any thunder's boom,
Each are simple and basic facts,
Each in their way cause enough for an all out war but absent are those who are actually
prepared to attack,
Until that long awaited rebellious revolution to the darkest embraces I shall slip back.
Who cares if unwanted children
Abound all over this earth?
Someone else can feed them
Until they have proven their worth!
Of course we shall disgrace them
Until they learn their place
Somewhat less than human and
Completely devoid of Grace!
Pro-lifers must believe their God
Is an old, incompetent fool
Who simply can't remember
What they learned in Sunday School.
Freedom of Choice is an issue
Pro-lifers will never forgive
They MUST have the right to dictate
Exactly how others must live!
One was sunny; one had rain.
One had beer and one champagne.
One had singing by a choir;
One had Dylan to inspire.
One had tender, choked-up vows;
The other, guests more used to bows.
One, a Windsor staid event;
The other had a porch and tent.
Both had salmon, garden peas,
Asparagus and meat and cheese.
For dessert, ‘twas no surprise
That one had tartlets, one had pies.
Both had music going on;
Only one had Elton John
But the other, I attest,
Played dancing songs that were the best.
Though the weddings can’t compare,
Love at both was in the air.
Gazing in each other’s eyes
Were sparks we all could recognize.
Two new couples said “I do”
And one of them was you-know-who.
The other people I do treasure
And their wedding was a pleasure.
There was a day set aside for the wedding
but the groom was very much dreading
it would be the same day
his grand final would play
and that’s where it looked it was heading
Alas his worst fears came true
So what was he s’posed to do?
Change the date
he’d marry his mate
or send a substitute to say “I do”?
Of course, that could be done covertly
The team had done it before with Curtley
but if the bride found out
she’d give him a clout
and the next month he’d spend inertly
So I hope we have the real groom today –
shame on his mates for staying away
but he stayed away too
when best man for Stew
and the ladies can still throw the bouquet
The bride is also very fond of her sport
loving a good tussle on field and on court
It’s clear and plain
she knows Glen’s pain
and she’s the kind and compassionate sort
This wedding’s been the perfect storm
The bride’s team’s in awesome form
Today’s their final too
So what’s Jane s'posed to do?
Miss it, or follow the wedding norm?
I’m sorry the groom’s grumpy and pre-occupied
but the final’s on now and he’s not in the side
but Jane empathizes
with his sacrifices
having hired a substitute bride!
orchestrates weddings
pastels, sherbets, roses too
backstage alone she weeps
You must of came from GOD
with so much love for me
in your smile
You give me so much love and affection
till my mind has no recollection
of times when my heart and life had
no purpose or direction
I hope our love never dies
because I can see forever in your eyes
White Weddings and Wet Funerals Final
When I was young,
And the world crisp,
Through the crystalline cold
Of November Morning
At the parade
And we were all caught in the sacred gear grit,
Grinding motion
Of life in abundance,
Pushing crowds out of bounds
It was always Thursday morning
and the endless invitations
in the mail spoke of
carousel steeds
and white weddings
Laughter does not carry like it did,
When we were children
we are grown old, now,
into our parents and grandparents
No cause for gathering
but for the formality
Of informing
On the sick and the dying
All the white weddings have ended
And now, walking with a cane,
I grow tired
of being mired in the mud
Of wet funeals…
John tansey
Wishing you a happy Monday as you promised me to skI
Ending the day with champagne – Oh how I wish it was reaL
Do you love me or do you hate me? I questioned thee as I said hellO
Delve me into your biggest desires – How I miss making love to you, my luV
Insanely wealthy customers but no cougars on the freaking sitE
Nougat candies are always a treat yet you gave me a boy toY
Go ahead. Bash me with your words but don’t you ever say nO
Sunday’s best at the park. You tell me to wait but I never saw thoU
It is common knowledge to those who have shared rooms with the groom and those who have only shared houses with him, he snores
and no matter what one tries to do to stop him, or to dampen the sound, his snoring stubbornly soars
After having tried everything from clothes pegs to sound-proof walls
after drowning out his hog-like snorts with the seventh symphony of nature's bird calls
I finally arrived at a solution that could only be dreamt up by someone on the edge of insanity
How often, I thought, do annoying sounds top the musical charts of humanity?
If record scratching, Sesame Street's Grover
squealing guitars and da da das over and over
are able to be the musical hits of the night
then why couldn't the sounds of snoring become a delight?
A chart topping snoring song would send a message to the ear-battered wives of the world their sensory perceptions have erred
that snoring is not to be complained about, but rather preferred
Wives should be proud of their man's popular melody
They should listen intently for talent and balladry
It should lull them to sleep as the lulling of their feral felines that have purred
or as the evergreen 'Rock-a-by’ or Hush Little Baby Don't Say A Word’
If, however, the bride can't obtain this perception of snoring
I'd instead recommend she perceive it as boring
for it would be highly inconsistent of her to fall asleep while her husband is making advances toward her
but to stay awake during his monotonous snoring, which to the same extent hadn't bored her.
Are weddings only for the young
Dancing up a storm
Limber in sleek outfits
Graceful in their form
Older folks gaze wistfully
Perchance they are quite jealous
Recalling bygone celebrations
Sealed in tears they will not tell us...