Best Wd Poems
Knock, knock who's there in my bathroom?
Jan the princess of posterior interior transfer
Knock, knock who's there not in my hot tub?
Cheryl the magnificent moonlight moon pie muncher
Knock, knock who's there in the pickle barrel?
Dale the satisfied stickler for the wife of the pickler
Knock, knock who's there flushing eyes for 15 minutes?
John the Master of Disastrous WD-40 tears
Knock, Knock who's there walking around all comfortable?
Maureen the anxious advocate of flat, wide, comfy, shoes
Knock, Knock. Who's there out in the forest?
Kevin the observer of the great grizzly wet haired bear!
Knock, Knock Who's there on the highway
Julie the crazy copper hating motorcycle driving lizard lover!
Just who dares to talk about normal poets names
Pat the shameless poet names dropper is to blame!
Categories:
wd, funny, poets, word play,
Form:
* Ey, gt d cr kys…m mtg ^ wd d crw ds f-dy nyt…
ur brgr pak s in d ref.
-----
I’m hitting the breeze, painting the town red
fine leather and stockings dressed
with rockin’ gal friends in tow
The car scoots on Friday night’s bar near west
dance steps, cocktails whirl jazz lights…
while you’re TV couching
-----
*Hey, got the car keys… I’m meeting up with the crew
this Friday night… your burger pack is in the ref.
Text Talk Contest of David Williams
Categories:
wd, adventure, time, car,
Form:
Kimo
WD-40
(jingle)
By Franklin Price
6/9/2015
WD-40 an excellent lube
Sprayed from a can
Not squeezed from a tube
Frees rusted screws
And bicycle chains
Cleans up the tracks
Of old model trains
So much more
WD-40 can do
I think you will find
It's a great lube for you
Categories:
wd, business,
Form:
Lyric
Although things have changed
Over the many years
I just wanted the world to know
I have happy tears
The pain and suffering
That I have for years buried
Your hatred and revenge
For this day you have carried
I have you in my thoughts
In everything I do
You made me a stronger woman
And I Thank You
I use my side mirrors
Every time I'm in reverse
When a vehicle breaks down
Your lessons I rehearse
WD-40 is the lube
You taught me would work
On just about everything
That had a troublesome quirk
Patience is something
We had all along
But perservance through our fighting
Proves your intentions weren't all wrong
My job was to care for children
Make their days complete
I am now a mother
To all youth that I meet
We chose different paths
Our children too
You degrade me still
And I Thank You
You just made me
Stronger than I was before
Knowing that I have matured enough
To learn insults gain love no more
You taught me things
From being gone so long
I had no choice
But to be independant and strong
Beauty is in everyone
You target what you SEE
Not caring about what caused it
The difference between you and me
So, here I am
Devoted to all that is true
Letting the world know
I Thank You
Categories:
wd, forgiveness, happiness, life, philosophy,
Form:
Bio
Just happy every morning when I wake up alive
Wiggle me toes, see to see if my feet still have feeling
Thank The Good Lord and send the Devil a "Go To Hell" card
Guess I made it through another day and did survive
And giving me another reason for being
Maybe getting old, but no use to take it hard
Crawl out if bed and try stand up
Navigate to where I left the kitchen last night
Pray to God there is some coffee
Takes forever, but i am ready for a cup
Or there might be a pretty good fight
Three cups for sure, then I will be able to see
Check the mail and all the bills are on time'
When my knees go to hurting, know that is going to rain
When it goes to clouding up, go inside and let her rip
Seems like they know how to get every dime
All the medicine I take, is WD-40 just for the pain
Teeth all accounted for, thanks to Poly-Grip
When my belly goes to growling, it is time to eat
When I go to sweating, then I stand in the shade
When the Sun goes down, Thank God for another creation
Grab me a cup of coffee, take me a easy seat
Another day is done and I hope all of my dues are paid
No candles or cake, everyday is a celebration
Categories:
wd, funnygod, me, day, god,
Form:
Before you start your meal today I can see that you’re confused
Please let me explain to you now how the utensils are to be used.
Start from the left and work your way in
There’s a fork that you can use to loosen a fin
Next to that is a thing with a hook that slides
Here’s some WD-40 to make sure that it glides
You can use it to catch hold of a fat Farkel berry
Unless of course it’s being served with dairy
Then please switch over to the right side of the plate
And grab hold of the spoon that matches its mate
Use them in tandem to round up the sections,
Of various things in the main course selection.
Next to them is horse shoe shaped spoon with a handle
That’s used for warming up bread with a candle.
After that is a nice collection of knives
Used to get honey from inside of the hives
Now move counter clockwise to the top and find
A nickel plated yo-yo with its string entwined.
You use that for knocking stray fingers away
From the dessert that comes for you on a tray.
At last we come to that spring loaded gadget
You can use it to peel bananas or baguettes.
I hope you got all that down with your pencils,
As this now concludes our tour of utensils.
• Fine Finlandic Fin Fork
• Farkel Berry Hook (With safety slide)
• Tandem (Sometimes Twin) Round Up Spoons
• Bread Warming U-spoon
• Slicker Honey Hive Stickers
• Nickel Plated Knuckle Whacker
• Spring Loaded Bread and Banana Peeler
Categories:
wd, food, funny,
Form:
Light Verse
All our wives agreed, "It's a manly thing to do,"
"Start yourselves a man-group, for the good of you,"
Find your feelings! (???)
Our heads were reeling!
An unmitigated crock of poo!
But being manly-men we faced our fate,
(Or maybe — not to lose our dinner plate?)
To keep the peace
(Elusive golden fleece!)
We commenced to congregate.
We held our first meeting at a quarter-of
Bravely resolved to take off the glove
We'd dig deep,
Maybe weep!
(At least when push came to shove.)
Pretty soon the gals said, "How's it goin?"
We said, "Fine, but it's not for your knowin"
A quote from the book
by one Doctor Crook:
"Confidentiality's needed for growin."
Weeks went by, we were flying high,
Gettin' real good at "how to sigh,"
but son-of-a-glitch
we just could not hitch
our eyeballs to "here's how to cry."
The pressure was on, we hollered, "OH LORDY!"
"We're manly-men, but this cryin' ain't sporty!"
The girls were pryin'
(Tired of our sighin')
It was time for some WD-40!
Miracle-in-a-can, known to all men
The answer to prayer since way back when
Watta ya say?
A tiny spray
And our wives were happy again!
So men if you need absolution,
(though it requires a bit of pollution)
WD in the eye,
Makes a realistic cry,
There just ain't no better solution!
Categories:
wd, humor, men, relationship,
Form:
Limerick
WD-40 resistant, cranky
mental gears no longer appraised,
honored, nor prized
as a precision crafted tool
never adequately utilized,
when eyes stared blankly
taking up space and
time (sigh hence) during
during twelve years
of public school
passively mute as a general rule
ambivalent, whether I sank or swam
during physical education
time in the pool
evincing being in
somnambulant state giving
top notch 40 ache curs and a mule
a run for his/her money,
plus also outwitting
any motley fool
nonetheless garnering huzzahs
if challenged to silent duel
despite implacable blackened
barbs didst unspool
assaulting me though
vicious and cruel
fast forward to
Matthew Scott Harris
at this present age
once feigned numbskull,
now deeply rutted,
pockmarked, cratered, asper
useful as fist size asteroid,
which post mortem will
not surprisingly, definitively,
and conclusively gauge
imagine dissecting my
fifty plus shades
of gray matter
revealing analogously glommed
together one severely
gunked up bacteriophage,
where once upon a time,
when a newborn babe
feeling warmth mother's chest,
she long since
passed away forced guest
to attend masquerade
hosted by grim reaper,
a most nefarious,
obnoxious, and pernicious pest
intricately, handsomely, genetically
her cremated remains
freed to the four corners
of the globe quest
inert particles integrated
within biosphere, she remains
perpetually in motion,
and never at rest
within infinite void
nonetheless...the spirit
of (the late) Harriet Harris
passed the electric
acid kool aid test,
and thus continues
to sprinkle the world
wide web with zest.
Categories:
wd, death, dream, fire, leaving,
Form:
Bio
When I came to pick you up
You were a beauty to behold
I walked you out to my Pinto
And even opened up the door
I know your thinking what a gentleman
But alas your thoughts they do escape me
With the creak of my door hinge so loud
I knew I should have WD-40'd
So you wouldn't tear your dress on the seat spring
I covered it with my Mothers favorite towel
I can see by the look that's in your eyes
I've really won you over now
I'm sorry the AC is out
As I spritz cool water in my dash fan
Is that you blinking in Morse code
You da man! You da man! You da man!
I only dine at the finest cuisine
Can't wait till you see what I did
Reservations at Red Lobster babe
I'll even help you put on your lobster bib
I strike up a conversation
Tell you all about my life, my dreams, my job
I continue talking, never mind the food in my mouth
At this point all you here is blah,blah,blah,blah,blah
Categories:
wd, funny, humor,
Form:
Free verse
Got Any Ideas For A Poem?
Ha! That catch phrase
(kid ding lee writ)
hoop fully goat yar attention
truth be told, (no...no...
no...not by me
boat some tee else of course)
mine min (yute) yen
for light banter i.e. badinage,
(this horny toad juiced ribbing...
frog git about it), yea,
I know that punning
while keying (NOT SAFE),
sometimes dill lutes
ma serious pickling attempt ren
doors an unsuspecting reader
(bajillion times out of zero) pen
ultimately probably discourages,
an increased virtual fanbase,
rectified by the following asinine
non-sequitur (a come men
dib bull double
entendre) totally tubularly
barbed with Freudian
slip age, that ken
figuratively grab immediate
interest of hen
pecked recipients (with pock marks
to prove such assertion)
might strongly concur even
without being aware how
psychoanalysis willy thrust
significance of phallus
in everyday affairs,
particularly how peppy
(even after applying
WD-40) can rust
and/or atrophy as if cell bait,
hence thee dick cree,
that intercourse a must
(as told by this husband
in a sexless marriage
as a result, I might
join a convent) as a lust
result, either that or
go set me a
watch woman as mistress
tubby integrated within
my private life
even if one
needs tubby bussed
from the outer limits of the
sterling twilight
zona pellucida ideally,
where love of c**t tree and
priapism maketh sea men go bust!
Categories:
wd, 11th grade, 8th grade,
Form:
Free verse
I watched the news today
What I saw took my breath away
I felt anger like never before
Like it was personal, felt the need to level the score.
Innocent men, captured, their freedom taken away
Held to ransom, for what? Financial gain?
No to cause their loved ones hurt and pain!
3 men brutally attacked
By an IS coward wearing a mask!
Apparently speaking with a British accent, you beheaded a fellow Briton, the ultimate dissent!
In Syria to deliver humanitarian aid
The man was there a matter of days!
Young recruits leaving our shores to fight for the jihadi cause
Great let's round them up and send them all, to answer the IS rallying call
Wipe them out and watch them fall!
Brainwashed in our very towns, by grown men preaching in their 'sacred' gowns
Over the internet to masses worldwide, is this a dilemma?
I'll let you decide.
How much more will it take, to put immediate action into place?
Another religious war based on hate of the entire human race!
WD
Categories:
wd, political,
Form:
Rhyme
Do you squeak
Are you stuck
Been rusty for a while
Just full of guck
Need to run smoothly
Penatrate your parts
Glide with no hesitation
WD-40 is where you start
This is not an advertisment for personal use!
Categories:
wd, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
Love is rose a river blade.
You look to perfection as seasons past
Instead of precious seedling blasts!
God is not be hind you, no!
But ever before us does grow
Torn asunder shackles
Legless reign, I renig
Father tear down webs of past!
Pour heaven down in full Sun shine
Break chains of fall pre tens
Eradicate the igno rants of division.
Those polo tics to n'er play fair
Sting, bite, infect, inflict, in law do they,
Washing torn brains of them, we are today,
No more, I knock I do on Heavens door.
They scattered us father, with wine
Sleepy wrath deceit.
They think perfect was born.
But then wd it not be soiled at life's first storm?
Perfect love is ever growing,
His endless seed.
He planted us, and hid us in darkness chained
Treasure of heaven, thru us does claim.
He is ever before us a whispering wind,
Stairway communication is found
Through being lost you lay down his
Cross at Fathers feet.
Lay it down,
We've carried it long enough.
Categories:
wd, slavery,
Form:
Bio
I'm living life hard knock and it's hard to get by/
I'm trapped in a prisoner state of mind/
Sometimes it's good times sometimes it hits the fan/
I'm just trying to get by, maintain so I can live my life/
I need help, I'm trapped in a prisoner state of mind/
All my days are routine and I need a break/
For God's sake, something has to change and soon/
My thoughts are running around crazy headed like a balloon/
They want to label me a goon, and yes I'm intuned/
With the thugs and hooligans that's up in this room/
They left me no room, I need space to maneuver/
So I took the wide road and it lead me to the sewer/
Now, I'm thuggin' in the gutter with the baddest of the bad/
Living a life of sin, I don't want no other/
I just wanna go home because I never done the crime/
So I'm living everyday like it's my last/
Something has to give so I keep pushing/
I got the spot light on me so I know they looking/
I'm doing everything I'm supposed to do to get by/
And for some reason, they want me to rot/
I'll be gone to March but March not a guarantee/
But I promise they won't break me or enter my conscious/
Military minded, I was built for the struggle/
I know a lot of ways to get it, this a snip of the hustle/
I been playing tug of war with the people who wanna cuff me/
I been on the losing end, rusty and muddy/
Now, I'm on the winning team, WD forty/
Squeaky clean, brand new, fresh and oily/
I'm still locked in a box, but not six feet deep/
So I flow like a mare, because I'm free as can be/
What you look at as crazy, I look at as fine/
The women in the magazines, keep me sane/
Life in the ghetto is no easy fight/
You'll look at it the same in a prisoner state of mind/
Categories:
wd, character, confidence, courage, dark,
Form:
Free verse
Doris my baby girl
Tubes and devices
Medicial technology
No matter the modernist
The pain and suffering
Doesn't quit still a part
When one has to have
Help for the damaged part
But you had a sense of
Humor, said they had
Used WD-40 and duct
Tape to hold you together
May the great physican
Be with you tonight
Greet you with the morning light
Bring you home where's your heart
Categories:
wd, daughter, health, life, love
Form: