Best Vulgar Poems

And here we are, on this field
Full of wealth and want...

Hawking love and loans like lollies,
Goodies of globalization entice the gullible ones,

Profits blossom [only] in well-made markets,
Global indoctrination indiscriminate and insurmountable,

Only the fit survive this global rat race 
When we feed the vulgar mouth of...

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To the facts we often would allude
Not only are you vulgar but so crude;
(Also vain if you want to add that.)
What you did thought was implicit
To everyone else seemed to be illicit.

Was obscene, absurd and ridiculous
Language used completely ludicrous;
Sure looked suspicious leaving scene;
Left trail of...

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Billy McWhiffy

Billy McWhiffy needed to fart
But there was a lady pushing a cart
Once she’d passed by and he thought he might bust
He readied himself for an almighty gust

But his belly was swollen with gas he’d amassed
And if he let rip, whole towns might be gassed
But...

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The Vulgar and the Beautiful 

By the roadside I saw a blushing flower amongst
arrogant, working class weed. It suffered greatly 
this delicate bloom which could inspire a poet
to write about the richness of nature if only bloody
weed would stop being so obtrusive.

I picked the flower,...

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“The rope round Leah’s neck 
Shall soon Leah’s life wreck’’: 
Give Leah her first chance 
For a funny dance
From a climbed stool
Removed as a rule…

Yes, Leah’s first full chance 
For a last Quaint Dance…
And I shall advance 
Of Course, Mark Evans,
Man of Relevance;
To stretch Leah’s...

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Congtatulater of Vulgar

Both Trump and  supporters are so vulgar;
Of eachother appear to be a congratularor;
Inteligence do know,
They are way below;
What Trump did indicate need a translater.

Jim Horn

Guarantee you will never find another
poem like this one....

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The Russian bear frighteningly growls  
  ~ Will his paws rip out Ukraine's bowels...

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Limericks VII - Naughty, Bawdy, Risque, Absurd

There continue to be modern sequels of the famous "Nantucket" limericks, including this bawdy one of mine:

There was a lewd whore from Nantucket
who intended to pee in a bucket;
but being a man
she missed the damn can
and her rattled john...

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Keg full of monkey j*zz
	Jar packed with grime
Little tank of tiny turtles
	Pot of slug slime.

Shaker full of flea larvae
	Small box of moss
Squeeze-tube of mushy meat
	Flask of dog sauce.

Leeches in a cookie tin
	Ice tray of blow
Now can you play to win
	This cooking show....

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Lamented Streets
David J Walker

I bring the village and 
The villagers follow 

Each a part of the past of 
a distorted dream

the energies of the city
magnetize everything 
in its path  

what I miss is the quiet 
of a former reality 

the colors clearly defined 
the...

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