Best Vittles Poems

T'were the night after Christmas, 'n' the house was all dark.
Not much money for 'lectric in the ol' trailer park.
Ma waitin' tables at the club...

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     Wish we were just married.
     My trusting head upon your shoulder.
     When...

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My New Years resolution is not to make any more New Years resolutions!
I've made 'em in the past but they died on the craggy shoals...

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Muffins, Doritos and Cheetos, Oh My! (A Bulimic’s Tale)

There is a hole in her core she must sate.
So, she drives to the grocery store before...

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Here’s what I’m thinking now 
at the end of the world: 

There are no atheists in foxholes— 
no theists in politics. 
If knowledge is power,...

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Leapin' lizards up in dem’ gizzards, something we call the creepy crawl. And her womb spew forth blasphemy, and her lips uttered deceit. Black alters...

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The year was 1832 when she slipped out the pub back door 
It was stormy and cold as she walked out far across the English...

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Buster ,Sparkle ,Newbie ,Speedy
and then there’s Pixie our smallest kitty,
One ,two ,three and four and five,
they‘re so frisky, so alive.

Sparkle is my number one,
14 years...

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Here I hang permanently latched to this coat peg
while fumbling though my mind what I did wrong.
Oh please release me I constantly meow and beg
but...

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We're the class of sweet '16! We're not tender vittles... we're Skittles! We're shooting Starbursts, reaching for the Milky Way. We aren't always Nerds-- we...

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At cockcrow, I head down to the river, forsaking my little log cabin situated in the dense forest till dusk, which was strongly built by...

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'Tis a merry company gathered about the fire
Comfortably warm, at their tables they dine
Under the spell of a beautiful lyre

In the great hall, under the...

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Is it any wonder that on a recruit's first day of service he is befuddled?
From day one he's told to do things by the numbers...

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A slight mist of fog is caught in the act of being by the light of the early morning
sun. Sometime during the dark of night...

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'Tis said that the first Thanksgiving feast was celebrated in sixteen twenty-one.
'Twas the Pilgrims' first bountiful harvest so they decided to have some fun!
(That was...

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