Best Urinate Poems
This land belongs to Buhari,
he has the financial keys to every land here!
You must not urinate here unless you
are a cow, beware of military' Dogs,
they're watching.
You must not answer nature's call here,
this region is for grazing of the first citizens,
do you expect them to perceive your urine?
Go home to your mother's other room,
there's another room for you to wee-wee
& there's room for you to communicate with nature.
your father has warned you not to see
the sun in darkness,
Your mother said you should learn to
respect every house that has politicians
that chopped your smiles into gloom of lurking bodies.
Why Urinate behind Aso rock Villa & you called yourself a patriotic civilian?
Don't you know that our leaders are dinning
there in bits of luminious laughter?
They are planning on how to give one square meal per day to already satisfied children.
They are arranging the ten thousand to be shared in the market tomorrow.
The sound of your patapata could be a distraction!
I have not find the right hand to parcel my anger on you!
you have made the foams thereof to meet at the confluence of mirage,
what do you expect Obasanjo to say of this?
I know each call is a torment and misery
painting a portrait of how gullible our land is!
Do not urinate here unless you're a politician!
Unless you've learnt the act of deceiving people,
unless you have fought in the National Assembly & jumped from one party to another,
unless your hands are stained with blood;
do not urinate here, zip up, hoodie...
Let's remind ourselves of next levels connecting the air with the silk memories with which the world hold each other in arms.
Remember, the fine is your head if you
ever pour out your proud liquid here!
©John Chizoba Vincent
#TheSage
Piss
I tell missy for class say;
Aunty, i want to go and piss
Naim everybody con begin to de laugh,
Auty coman get angry and get up and shout
'Class if i hear pim again'
Anty na look at my side and talk say,
You this child;
You can not come and kill me in this school,
Now correct yourself in good English
Before i flog your bum bum,
'I wan to go outside and wee wee anty' please
As the piss don catch me well well
I now run straight from inside class to lavatory.
In the lavatory, i see many many big big ;
Some black, brown, water - water and
small small worm everywhere,
It is not working again
So it is smelling bad bad
And teacher say dirty environment
Is germs and disease place
I now coman run to the bush
In the back of lavatory to piss
Kr kr kr kr
The zipper didn't want to open
So i now draw my school knicker down
And lowered my pant,
'Pss psssssssssss pss pss.
Pr pr pr pr prrrrrrrrrrrrr
Leki kettle way de blow whistle.
After i now finish pissing,
I shake my thing very well so the last drop
do not stain my cloth
So my Classmate will not say
I piss on my body and start calling me
"Pissi pissi for body".
Ghops
Patti dropped her pants, turned away from the river, reached down and touched her toes, and squirted back a big spray of piss. The river rose, spilled the banks, washed away the world. Now we are free, at last, at last, on this empty empty planet.
I'm in the sky
I'm flying high
I asked the Lord
"Do you like my tie?"
He said to me
"I made that tree!"
But I was bored
And had to pee.
(alternately titled:
Pee pee song and dance routine)
Invariably analogous setting
kickstarts schlemiel to agitate
excretory mechanism linkedin,
viz body electric doth actuate
merely upon turning faucet triggers
unstoppable onset to micturate
drinking coffee or caffeinated tea
also functions as diuretic
mimics similar rush'n spate
oh boy... if I hesitate
to whip out trouser snake late...
he himself will humiliate
courtesy warm liquid will trickle
soiling pea green pants
legs knotted together damns fate
against pistol - unleash
expletives post maturely ejaculate
rank odor will permeate
redeeming salvation drek
written by this primate,
which rather lame poem may titillate,
though juvenile words
when thee evaluate
be mindful, cuz no control exists,
hence humorously accentuate
to tap kidney, draining
the lizard, empty bladder all equate
essentially to see man about a horse
private tête-à-tête,
thus no choice exists to alleviate
non voluntary impulse,
no rhyme nor reason unbeknownst to me
why tinkling sound beckons ureic freight
urgent whistle stop won't depreciate
emergency crisis compounded
with sudden necessity to defecate
courtesy lathered soap
or shaving cream, I fulminate
teary eyed burning man sensation
tripping feet blindly groping
oh $*¡† toilet seat down - cant wait
scramble in vain against impending date,
when disaster strikes
flash flood warning issued,
hence I cannot narrate
anymore hanging unto bough
risking life and limb
half a$$ poem I did create.
Do not urinate here they say,
But nature is calling us furiously;
Should we just hold on and not
Response to nature's call?
Oh that is outragious thing to do.
When that call holds you tight and
You tighten your two legs shaking and
Looking dejected and rejected like a child who missed his way and could not find his mother.
Most especially if it happens to be the one that
Comes out from the anus, oh; I mean "****"
"****, ****" that shattered the unborn child' dream.
Oh I must not be disgraced by this little thing,
Oh I must fine a place to put my bombom; be it inside bush or I dig hole and hole my "****" inside.
Oh, who would eat that ****?!
Oh, who would taste that salty water from a needless pipe that no one could see coming but the gods?!
Do not urinate here they say but, we must answer the nature whenever she calls us because; she is our mother and a child can't fail to answer his mother.
Oh, that is an abomination to the Nkporo clans!
They can collect fine from us for answering mother' call.
Do not urinate here they say, but we must answer nature's call or she would disgrace us in the public.
I pee in the cup.
As you get older, it’s inevitable that your body will start to let you down. Sometimes, it's nice to have a family member visit or spend time with your children. However, when you're living in a small apartment with only one bathroom, you really have to rethink the idea of having visitors over.
When nature calls, there's simply no delaying the urge. You rush to the bathroom, only to stop short as you knock on the door, anticipation building. From within, a voice responds, "I am in here." The realization hits you like a cold splash of water—someone is occupying the very sanctuary you desperately need. Ouch! It’s that sinking feeling of frustration and urgency colliding, leaving you longing for relief.
At times, I hesitate about long-haul flights, particularly when traveling to my homeland, to avoid potential embarrassment.
I remember that awkward morning when I really needed to go, but someone was in the bathroom for more than an hour. I felt a kind of pain I had never experienced before. After a while, I heard them say they would be out in a few minutes.
As I looked at my cup of water, I realized I couldn't wait any longer. I ended up peeing in the cup. I felt bad that my body wasn’t cooperating, but I just wanted that person to hurry up and leave..