Best Underpants Poems

one winter night,
I guess about 2 years ago
in my old unheated home,
which I have since sadly left,
I must tell you a remarkable story
about an attempted theft

about 4 or so in the morning
I was upstairs in my bedroom
reading in bed, in but my underpants
insomnia a plague,...

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Designer underpants are the rage
With Hanes and Joe Boxer too
Fruit of the Loom and Calvin Klein
I can name more than just a few

How about Banana Republic
Also Navy and Tommy John
They're the same but different
Try some Katz or Aussiebum on

Call them knickers, shorts, or underwear
But don't...

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Just outta of a shower and pampering 
The next step for me is dressing
I’m so fresh and clean
And wanting to look so neat and pristine 

I line up my boxers strategically placed
I’m ready in my dressing place
As I place my right leg through the hole
Suddenly...

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Now what I'm about to relate now
Surprises me to this day
It left my mouth agape
I knew hardly what to say

This guy admitted
to these cops,
Yes he had broken in
He thought such a derlict
home empty
So it wasn't such a sin!

I said, so that makes it legal
to break...

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