Best Twat Poems

Tom Price phones up John Ely. 

"I hear you sell some of the best horses in the county 

I'm sending out my best guy if he likes the goods 
we're buying one of your horses. 

My guy is a midget with a speech impediment just...

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An enormous pole 
made of chrome 
A table set 
Steve, knew he was home 

With a tiny leather thong, 
he swung around, 
in a world he did belong, 
with the rythm of the sound 

Around he twirled, 
faster and faster 
The lights swirled 
He was...

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Damn Hot
Burn ****

7/31/15...

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All the teachers were basically horrible,
each could be placed on sliding scale of 
horribleness….thus;
1.	(the worst) Complete ****
2.	Largely a ****.. with a degree of reserve
3.	****
4.	Headmaster’s toady prone to outbursts
5.	Pathetic but lacking conscience
6.	Searching for a personality
7.	Lost…smiles occasionally
8.	Dominated by all other teachers (easy to mimic)
9.	A mess 
10.	Ineffectual (but...

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Can u take boy me for what I am or do u need to fabricate an ego estrogen entity 
to fit yr fee fakemale forum in **** time present and id/ego absent intensity. Do tell howwhatwhatwherewhywhichwatkindhowmanywhose as I am of a different time place evo...

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first time I took an an airplane it was dire
two propellers flying the sky of stench
oozing the land of a deathly earthquake

bodies telling the story of unknowns
as ten years old couldn't understand all
the drama and operettas I laugh

the flies and worms the need of survival
was...

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CYBER SHAG
             (A silly poem)

It's good to cyber shag, talk message or chat 
It's ok to flirt, it's harmless to act at times like a ****
It's good to be cool, to joke it's...

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Back in our youth the biggest concerns were:
procuring our juvenile delinquent beer
were our nickle bags laced with paraquat...
where could get some easy ****...
and how we laughed our asses off 
when our friend earned his nickname
by "snatching" the crabs from a skank-

But somehow it's more sinister...

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Lying here beside you dear, I turn and watch you sleep,
So blessed I am to have you, a love so strong and deep.
You always say you love me, but I really love you more,
That is till’ I’m startled by the most god-awful snore!

The noise is...

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Get a gun!
Get anything you could grab,
Get a feather, get a pen,
And a parchment, 
Oh! Beauty dove,
And start revolting in your own way,
Your pen is an ICBM,
More powerful than the US’s 
And the North Koreans’
The nuts!!
Propaganda and mind-control,
Information,
Globalisation, bullying,
Corporations, multi-nationals,
Multi-what?? ****??
Slavery, a human for a...

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The Christmas Mouse
T'was the night before Christmas
And with everything done
The kids were all dreaming
Of Christmas Day fun
The tree was completed
We had wrapped all the toys
When from the basement below
We heard a faint noise
I sprung from the couch
Took off down the stairs
On my way through the...

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oh these Google Glass(es)
are gonna put a whole new meaning behind
beating up the guy/gal who is
wearing em’---
as the 5 Point Café in Seattle, WA,
courageously takes the first step to
ban them,
knowing full well that the minions of
commercialism, the whores of 
exposure, 
will be out to face****...

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Treat me 
Like a king
I need me
to a fin
I am so dreadful sometimes I am a handful
I think that you think that I think you are dreamy
I think that you know that I think that I'm screaming
I wonder where I am going I wonder what...

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My head won't stop! It's going to pop,
Trying to figure out what's right & what's not 
I want him to have a perfect life,
Perfect woman, perfect wife
He choose me to be her, not someone else or some other!
But I'm scared I can't be what he...

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Police state, time of hate, council estate, life scar, stolen car, no fun, drug run, hard to sleep, cider cheap, benefits cut, sexy ****, home alone, methadone, gang culture, vulture, mountain bike, no do like, pit bull dog, road hog, bobbly hat, two time ****,...

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