Best Singles Poems

Ron desperately wanted to have a girlfriend
He’d looked after his old mum right till the end
Ron was a tall and extremely attractive guy
Unfortunately poor Ron was so terribly shy 

He saw a poster in a window for a single’s night
There’d be lots of ladies, it...

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A guy who writes greeting card jingles
Went out to a nightclub to mingle
His lines were hallmark strong
But she strung him along
Till he'd tucked the last of his singles

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FIRST PLACE WINNER
For the "A New Bawdy or Humorous Limerick" Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Tania Kitchin
Syllables checked with HowManySyllables.com
2/14/2022
...

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I finally hit 70, a widow.
      Dating, maybe I'll get thrown a bone.
         I am tired of waiting and being alone.
           ...

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one single rose
left on my door step
one single step
led u to me
one single kiss
felt on the nape of my neck
one single tear fell to the floor
a tear of joy
its our love and nobody's business...

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How does it feels like wen some one looks at you in 
a special way ...

How does it feel like wen some one really want you to stay ...
How does it feels like wen sum1 buzz u late at night..

How does it feels like wen...

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They both breeze in, like bright new stars
Nice clean clothes, nice new cars
But they hide their truth like chameleons 
And blend into the scenery of Machiavellians

He talks behind her back and she behind his. 
It’s all sweetness and light; but a quiz?
Both smiles hide fork...

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The Marrieds view Singles as being selfish and narcisstic,
people who live their lives according to every whim and fancy,
Their contemptuous feelings are felt with every glance and deed,
While the Singles view their lives as people who created circumstances
out of their emotional needs,
Each group thinks the...

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The Marrieds view Singles as being selfish and narcisstic,
people who live their lives according to every whim and fancy,
Their contemptuous feelings are felt with every glance and deed,
While the Singles view their lives as people who created circumstances
out of their emotional needs,
Each group thinks the...

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See this young lovely chick
That set out man's raging prick 

Not ready to use her lips 
Get to lose his golden zip

Without the damsel on bed 
His dream eyes go red 

And if he is to confess 
He wanna make you a mistress 

But she...

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\In the singles bar, the music was blaring,
The flashing lights sweeping and glaring,
Middle age men, whose pants were flaring,
Business suits, with manners overbearing,
Bespectacled man in the corner just staring,
The fat man on the couch who is despairing,
Talk all about what women are not wearing,
The lady’s...

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these songs are about wizards (mostly)
the untroubled child sleeping peacefully

and when the new washing machine
arrives at the same time as the food delivery

you do wonder if the men at the door
exchanged pleasantries 

did they make eye contact
did they ring the door separately or 

one honk...

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The Marrieds view Singles as being selfish and narcisstic,
people who live their lives according to every whim and fancy,
Their contemptuous feelings are felt with every glance and deed,
While the Singles view their lives as people who created circumstances
out of their emotional needs,
Each group thinks the...

Continue reading...

Experts describe it as a complex emotional reaction, felt by people dwelling in isolation.
Sufferers sometimes cannot explain what they are feeling, as loneliness possess their being. 
Why, oh why, is this disease so pervasive among so vast a population?
What is the explanation for this strange...

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living in our CRYSTALISED BASIC SPACE
VCR ISLANDS recording lying times
ANGELS CHAINED to FICTION SUNSET
happiness ON HOLD
SAY SOMETHING LOVING
I DARE YOU
OUR SONG
just A VIOLENT NOISE
SWEPT AWAY by your PERFORMANCE
TEST ME as your LIPS UNFOLD
TRY and TEST ME
SWEPT AWAY by the TIDES
of a REPLICA me...

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