Best Seamen Poems

Mary Rose, the mighty sailing sea vessel glided majestically across the waves 
She had robustly and bravely sailed the briny waves for many a night and day
With the ocean's heaving gusting squalls blowing off proud stern and mast
Sailing victorious and proud - her billowing white...

Continue reading...

Skinny-dipping with you is a thrill
For a man who is over the hill
But just one squiggly squirm
From a small dangling worm
And a fish will dart in for the kill!

A Sperm Whale with a mouthful of krill
Can swallow more than you ever will
Only octopus arms
Could adore...

Continue reading...

A cupola shin, prickly dick creed, hoary 
 testes tossed, master baiting ova all eel trades
crossed the fecund Rubicon and ejaculated 
   olly olly oxen yawping, in utero seminal raids
with phallic coup d’etat that buck came vasocongested spades
lit torch, where hello kitty Ernst...

Continue reading...

There was a woman from Beeman
Who enraptured all the seamen
With a gentle touch of her hand
She titillated their laughing gland
Making them feel like freemen...

Continue reading...

Where Seamen Flows


tootsie 
booby

flaps wings
that sing

the night
hymns tight

for bread
embed

that fills
her bill

3/20/17


Writer's Notes-fishermen go out to sea, bring in a nice catch. Birds follow the boat in. Fishermen have a big load of cash in their pockets. Music to someone's ear? Booby's (seacoast flyers) get some...

Continue reading...

A man paid a witch for an hex
To help his wife want much more sex
They went on a cruise
Where she made the news
Obliging the men on all decks...

Continue reading...

Seven slurring stout sociable salty sailors
Standing stealthily silent
Solo
Sharing secret salacious
Stirring sailing stories....

Continue reading...

A Bo'sun in the pub was wheezing
From Wanda Mann's underhand teasing
An organist by trade
And accomplished milkmaid
Her fingers were quite busy squeezing

The Bo'sun recalled a sperm whale
That spouted away in a gale
Wanda knew how whales blow
And performed it just so
The Bo'sun would buy her more ale

The...

Continue reading...

Two seamen sought to sail the sea
to see the seething sea, you see.
This could have happened in B.C.
but no — they saw the modern sea.
In 2023 A.D.
the sea was like the sea B.C.
which is unlike the CBC
with no connection to the sea
but somewhat like the...

Continue reading...

Outstretched hands above the waves
Condemed to deep the cannons slaves
Before the mast they took their place
And take the cat at drumbeats pace

The Kings shilling and a tot of rum
Cannons hauled to the roll of drum
Sawdust strewn the blood to soak
Sweating palms but hearts of oak

A...

Continue reading...