Best Restroom Poems

I accidentally stepped into the women's restroom
Turned around to quickly leave
Noticed there was no one there
Then turned back around for a manly peak

What the ladies...

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The idea behind this poem came from reading a poem of the same title, written by Richard “Canadian Man-god” Lamoureux. Now, his poem went in...

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Drip drip dribble dribble
google harps- here's a fiddle
How does fuzz evolve to stubble
Here's Fred Flinstone- Barney Rubble

WON 5 DOLLARS!- now I'm even
Online poker- guy named...

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Its halloween  my favorite time of year.
Grown women running around half naked.
Makes me wanna awake the spirt and grab a beer.

Boy i wish my...

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Must explain my reason for grinning
It's not what you might think
Got a cramp down in my nether regions
Maybe too many beans methinks

It's easy for people...

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Death is all in the mind
Thinking only of it for sometime
Will things be different or the same
When I am gone under my tame

Knife to use,...

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There's something I'd like Santa, may I ask,
I don't want lots of presents, just this one,
delivery won't be an easy task
so do the rest, leave...

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Now you know all of us
were endowed by our Creator
with different various gifts,
some of us can write, some of
us can draw, some of us just...

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In the factory where he worked
When he noticed, he had to scoff
Several men were walking around
With one sock on and one sock off

He had seen...

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At this hour ... without any planning I write because I got up to use the restroom, but switched on my text messages and saw...

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QUIET, quiet, quiet!!!
Why won't these children listen?
They are constantly talking oblivious of the fact that their education is going down the drain.

Can't they see the...

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After handling Jalapeno Peppers, wash your hands thoroughly BEFORE you use the restroom....

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Light it, hiding in his eyes, because he calms my soul,
he calms me down, and claims my dignity,
I kiss his lips
because he helps me dream,...

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Only 14 and eager to find love, she sneaks out at four in the morning
Persuading her best friend to come along – meet someone new
Hence...

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REMEMBERING

remembering
new year’s eve
what didn’t happen
no horns      confetti      fireworks
i fell asleep in my lazy boy

a restroom...

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   Just him and I with his orange balloon
2 tickets for every ride
   The ambiance played the strangest tune
The crowds of...

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It’s time to lounge and contemplate,
Allowing the crap to all hang out.
While full bowels disintegrate
The gas attacks, having to shout.

Relief is done gradually 
And Cabernet...

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Or Bored With The Rings

Carved into a tree in Mirkwood:
Watch out for Treebeard, girls. He's fast!

On a restroom wall in the Shire:
Hoo boy! that Bilbo...

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I'm just a regular guy with a regular job,
Just your average, run of the mill suburbanite slob.
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
while motorists...

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Stymied synergistic stoolcumers synchronized
of gifted glib galb garbage run of mouth
nicotine rings of one night 
no promise quickly spilled
ever taxed gestured pocket
pool. tandem coulpling random...

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I AM A COUCH POTATO
By Roy Merritt

I am a couch potato, but not russet, red or white
I’m the kind of potato that sits up late...

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It was the last period.
The breezy school day was almost done.
Mrs. Johnson and her English class relished
Getting a restroom break and a bit of sun.
They...

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It was Friday night in small town, USA. The convenience store clerk was outside in the parking lot, arguing with her boyfriend. Instant recognition, one...

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There was a street walker 
Who was quite a talker

She vacationed in a place called Manhattan
But the people spoke no French or Latin

When she spoke...

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That goofball husband of hers brought her to this joint to see her get drunk for the very first time. She actually plugged her nose...

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