Best Rascally Poems
Rap like Rabbit battle Rap
21/05/2018
Livin by the beach and baby life’s good
Not stuck in a rut or in a crummy hood
I’m writing tight rhymes like you know you should
Or like you thought you would
No like you wish you could
But man you ain’t got no wood
Your actions so sloppy n soft
I’m holdin the trophy aloft
Yeah my critics they all scoffed
But my paper leads the way
To hear my rap you gotta pay
The pretty skirts all wanna stay
So many I gotta shoo em away
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
Now listen up a while
And you’ll hear my roarin style
Insults on you I’ll pile
So deep you’ll run 8 mile
Like a rascally rabbit
Talkin rain like Charlie Babbitt
Stuttering’s your best habit
Tear out your heart man I’ll stab it
Oops now your bleeding out
But your soulless words don’t shout
Your lips just quiver n pout
Man... I know what your about
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and coppin cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
Look at you your a disgrace
Tears a runin down your face
Can’t keep up with my hectic pace
No I won’t show you no grace
Cause now I’m free flowin fast
Like I’ve had a wicked blast
And your junk is still half mast
Oh Man your moments past
Now this is kinda tricky
But your Calvin’s Kleins are sticky
Man I’m just takin the Micky
Out of your sweet little dicky
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
I can’t help but be like this
My arrows never gonna miss
And when you do throw out a diss
I’ll grin or smile and blow a kiss
Cause you can’t touch me dog
Girl on your arm looks like a hog
Girl on mine’s so hot theirs fog
Your starin speechless your agog
I got the paper, chicks and words
You can’t even find a use for verbs
I bet your smokin chockin on herbs
I’m clean n mean, mind undisturbed
Cause I’m the one you wanna be,
livin the dream and copping cream
Yeah I’m the one they wanna see, they be givin it away for free
Categories:
rascally, slam,
Form:
Rhyme
Ole Bugs was a rascally rabbit
a bunny with Fudd foolin' habits
each carrot he stole
and ditched in his hole
caused Elmer to scream Bugs G_d dam it!
Categories:
rascally, funny,
Form:
Limerick
In a frontier town of Oregon
lives a rascally son of a gun.
He’s taking on louses
that beat up their spouses.
I can hardly believe that’s my son!
For Carolyn Devonshire's Contest:
Lawyer Limericks
Categories:
rascally, funny
Form:
Limerick
An alligator always ate addax and antelopes.
Baby bats began bouncing before burping
Caterpillars climb cable crossings carefully
Dingos don't dine delicately during dinner.
Eager elephants enjoy easily eating eggplants
Funny frogs finally find flipping fun
Granny goat 's girl got green grapes
Healthy heavy happy hippos hate horrendous heat
Iguana is inhaling icky insects
Jolly Joey Jumps joyfully juggling jelly jars.
Kevin's kangaroo keeps kicking kids
Lions like long-legged little llamas
monkeys making magical music
Nightingales nest neatly nearby
Olly's old Ostrich outruns others
Polly parrot playfully peck puppies paws
Quick quirky quails quarrel quietly
Robert's rascally rabbits racing raccoons
Slinky slimy snakes slither slowly
Tony the Tiger tasted termites.
Unusual Ukari understands us
Voracious vicarious vultures visibly vibrate
Walruses wobble while wiggling wildly
x-ray tetras want worms
Young yellow yackety Yaks yawn
Zealous Zany Zesty Zebra
Categories:
rascally, animal, funny, humor,
Form:
Alliteration
rascally raccoons
ruthlessly raid radishes
robbed rabbits resent
written and posted 2/28/2011 at 10:27 pacific Standard Time
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Came in 9th
Categories:
rascally, nature
Form:
Haiku
My rabbit won’t come when called;
Misbehaving in every way;
But it’s the only way, being bald,
I’ll ever have a bad hare day.
Categories:
rascally, funny
Form:
Chastushka
In the vortex of a maelstrom, I was rudely thrown
drowning in turbulent waters for an error I bemoan,
a blunder of loving someone who chose to whittle
away at my heart until it became fragile and brittle
Bereft beyond the point of caring if I lived or died
My eyes were scarlet, burning from tears I'd cried
But they became transfixed, immutable on a fire stoked
for my normally tenuous demeanor had been provoked
I was a genteel lady, who demurely acquiesed to love
but it was time for me to throw down the gauntlet glove
I was chafed by what had been just an interlude for him,
an escapade, a mere dalliance, a rascally romantic whim
I drew a rough sketch; in likeness of my vagabond swain
an abstract portrait, in Picasso's style, the face of my bane
Black eyes were hollow, blind orbs that would never see
that his triflling peccadillo tryst was a brutal betrayal to me
The painting was delivered as twelve bells pealed midnight
I watched as he unfolded it, but carefully kept out of sight
A formidable opponent I had become to his knavish ways
By moonlight I saw his face turn pale; his eyes were glazed
* November 3, 2017*
Eight Word Challenge-5
Hosted by John Hamilton
8 Words required were: Brittle Immutable Formidable
Tenuous Interlude Sketch Bereft Demurely
Categories:
rascally, betrayal,
Form:
Rhyme
Under the Mulberry Tree
Is where you would always be
While I climbed ever so higher
you would stand and wait for me
I never realized why that was
It was incase I should ever fall~
You were ready for anything
while I experienced it all
From hunting Newts under boards
or chasing Squirrels up trees
And building cages to help me catch
every single bird I could ever see
From following all the boys around
to chasing rabbits through knee high grass
From trying to catch those rascally snakes
to hunting down all them Bats
And everytime I turned around
you were always near
Watching your precious little tomboy
as I romped around without a fear
Those were the careless days of childhood
but those days are in the past
And looking back now, after 18 years
I'm grateful that Precious Memories last
Even though you've been gone now some 18 years
I can still see them putting you in the ground
But all I have to do is close my eyes
and those endless childhood days come back around
Categories:
rascally, death, grandfather, loss, memory,
Form:
Rhyme
IF EVER I HAD A COUNTRY - LXXVII
IF ever I had a country proud of its wall-less porous boundary
And if ever by no mistake of the Supreme High Command of the International Militaro-Business Conspiracy I were appointed the CHIEF TARIFF IMPOSER and Eminence Grise of and on all the self-righteous realms rocambolesque republics and renegade run-of-the-mill rotten rotting rostrum-raving riven ribald rascally rickety refugee-raised democracies
Mark my words I’ll put an end to the raping of my dearly-beloved national integrity by
One, importing all available rutting Queen Bees of the "Killer African Bees" and have them breed with local wasps of high pedigree in the front-line of battle along the Southern Border under every tree where I’d let Red Ant-Hills multiply free
Two, import Myanmar Pythons with a taste for digesting young fresh human flesh, mixed with the local brand of Everglades alligators, down the Mississippi and the Colorado River sprinkled liberally with the Grand Canyon brand of the Rattle-Snake with their tell-tale warning-rattle nipped off, together with the silent army of Black Widows clad in their enticing mantilla webs, as a second-line of defense against the illegal refugee
Next, if they still keep coming I’d roundup all the lazy good-for-nothing thick-maned Bisons of the prairies and have them lined up for a Charge-of-the- Heavy-Brigade stampede by whipping their asses to the sound of the Land of the Free
And if this doesn’t stem the tide of illegal immigrants, drug dealers and tourists with empty pockets, I’d call on the faithful Black and White striped Tribe of Appalachian SKUNKS with my tonitruant bugle, line them up so that their posteriors faced Tierra del Fuego and let them squirt to their hind-hearts’ desire even at the risk of driving the entire population out of the country
Yes Siree, this’s what I’d do as the Eminence Grise and Chief Imposer of Tariffs of My Beloved Contree
And this even if I never ever had no country worth saving for the ennui of a penny
(c) T. Wignesan - Paris, June 11, 2019
Categories:
rascally, america, drug, humor, immigration,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
Bugs Bunny was a hero that wore no mask
That rascally rabbit, "What's up doc?", he'd ask!
The Flintstones Fred yelled,"Yaba daba doo!"
Wilma, Barney and Betty there with him too!
Popeye would always say, "I'm strong to the finish!"
Do you know why? "Because I eats me spinach!"
Rocky and Bullwinkle almost all of the time
Kept spies Boris and Natasha from doing crime
The Jetsons had all the space gizmos to get
George, Elroy, Jane, Judy and Astro their pet
Mr. Magoo clearly the most near sighted of men
Would say, "Oh Magoo, you've done it again!"
They said, "It's a bird, it's a plane, it's a frog!"
He answered , "It's just little old me, Under Dog"
Then we knew it was the end of the jokes
As soon as Porky Pig stuttered, "That's all Folks!"
Categories:
rascally, children, fantasy, fun,
Form:
Couplet
Doggone it, that blasted pup irks me
He thinks he’s my Mom’s fav’rite pee wee
He grabs harmful toys
From rascally boys
Then chews them while gloating, bad beastie!
I’m coming for you, Mr. Hellhound
I’ll see you returned to the pet pound
The blues you will sing
So just take a swing
One scratch on my head, you’ll go Greyhound
Image “B” Chosen
*Written December 16, 2018
For James Edward Lee Sr.’s “Baby Face, What’s You Thinkin’” Contest
Categories:
rascally, baby, dog,
Form:
Limerick
Bronwyn the Barbaric amassed admirers
like oceans collect river-flow
Streams of suitors all tried to woo her
each determined to be her “best beau”
But our fair pirate queen was a fickle young lass
whose attention was hard to retain
She'd have no truck whatever with crude fellows crass
insisting they possess “half a brain”
She longed for a man both witty and charming
dressed rakishly jaunty and vogue
With manners debonair and smile disarming
('though a bit of a rascally rogue)
Few chaps could achieve these high standards, indeed
yet, one day she met him- and he did!
He was dashing, all agreed, on his wild stallion steed
a sight to behold- resplendent!
And Bronwyn herself, couldn't help but admire
this arrogant, haughty young blaggard
by the name of Beauregard Brody, Esquire
how he bragged, and blustered, and swaggered!
Sailing into his arms, Bronwyn swooned straight away
and they would've composed quite a pair
if only her dog hadn't got in the way
of their breathless and heated affair
Bronwyn's sidekick was a pup quite precocious
all beautifully soft, plush and furry
but she was surprisingly fierce and ferocious
sending most people off in a hurry
Yes, Hellion was a marvelous part-Husky pooch
with one eye brown, and one blue
who took great offense at each intimate smooch
with each snuggle, her distrust grew
Categories:
rascally, animal, dog, fantasy, funny,
Form:
Rhyme
In the vortex of a maelstrom, I was rudely thrown
drowning in turbulent waters for an error I bemoan,
a blunder of loving someone who chose to whittle
away at my heart until it became fragile and brittle
Bereft beyond the point of caring if I lived or died
My eyes were scarlet, burning from tears I'd cried
But they became transfixed, immutable on a fire stoked
for my normally tenuous demeanor had been provoked
I was a genteel lady, who demurely acquiesced to love
but it was time for me to throw down the gauntlet glove
I was chaffed by what had been just an interlude for him,
an escapade, a mere dalliance, a rascally romantic whim
I drew a rough sketch; in likeness of my vagabond swain
an abstract portrait, in Picasso's style, the face of my bane
Black eyes were hollow, blind orbs that would never see
that his trifling peccadillo tryst was a brutal betrayal to me
The painting was delivered as twelve bells pealed midnight
I watched as he unwrapped it, but carefully kept out of sight
A formidable opponent I had become to his knavish ways
In the moonlight his face turned pale; his eyes were glazed
Categories:
rascally, angst, relationship,
Form:
Rhyme
It greets me twice a day, morning and afternoon
Not pleasantly like a song from the musical, Brigadoon
No, not this structure that awaits me like a vigilant spy,
reminding me of the play's song, "There But For You Go I."
Each morning it slows me down as I make my way to work
I've come to regard it as a petulant nuisance and a jerk
I crawl along at a tedious pace, often hitting the brakes,
Red lights flashing as long lines form like slithering snakes
Its tempo in the afternoon moves slower than a larghetto
Never music to my ears when I decelerate to its concerto
The horns I hear are not from an orchestra, I blow one, too
But to its maestro I must pay or he'll never allow me through
I've come to know the menace well and call it a buffoon
because of its rudeness to drivers who have to sing his tune
Then came the day I heard the toll would no longer be taken
and the rascally little cubicle was soon to be forsaken
No longer am I forced to dawdle as I drive along the road
Though I think its ghost remains, traffic has swiftly flowed
I sing along with the radio, in a pleasant voice I now croon
but never do I sing "There But For You Go I" from Brigadoon
Categories:
rascally, conflict,
Form:
Rhyme
Randy rascally Racoon loved
Rambunctious Rhonda Rabbit
They really had rogue reprobate habits
But then they had some little coonbibits
Categories:
rascally, allegory, animals, funny
Form:
Alliteration