Best Poetry Slam Poems
Toilet Bowl Committee (aka: Uptown Hood)
A lavatory confinement
my$h!tdontstinkcomode.com
---
If you want to moderate this place, pick up the pace
From the mouth down to the @$$
Your so called kind has no class,
Fed by these political rejects, never elected for what was!
No matter,
They wipe their assets clean with our dreams
Forgetting to wipe their own toilet seats clean
Trying to make us feel dirtier than scat
Feeding off our paper when their toilet bowl water level is low
Toilet bowl PO-poes, wiping without dental floss
Missing everything in between reality
Trying to be kind, saying "One Day We'll Be Good Enough!"
Offering their Golden Plunger,
straight from the Home Depot shelves
No Thank You! My plunger a true gift from Mr. Wal-Mart himself
Next time you feel the need to offer a reference point
Please caption your name when you drop by,
Rinse thoroughly when speaking my name,
Then I will listen when you talk civilized
Correct my punctuations and spelling errors
The weakest trait you wear
You are no Prophet, just white tissue turning brown
Your Justification comes from old dry grapes falling from the vines
Ridicule will never give you the respect, for what you are!
We, the few poets from the hood,
overpower any change you offer Goodwill
Crumbling and flushing what does not meet your standards
Trying hard to force feed us soup, without giving us bibs
Thank you
Toilet Bowl Committee
For clogging up my drain with your bull$h!T
By: Keeping it Real (The Downtown Hood)
Date: 12-15-13
~*~
Yo Yo Yo my name is Robin
And my poems are really rockin'
With me you can not compete
You will feel sad defeat
My writing skills can't be touched
All your words need to be flushed
Down the toilet with disgust
Listen to me you can trust
My opinion, you can't rhyme
It makes me sick everytime
Your words fail to connect
As all the ones you select
Should never be seen or heard
Your writing skills are absurd
It's useless to waste all your ink
Because your poems really STINK
My heart
cr
ump
led
like the screwed up scraps of paper
now languishing in the trash bin
okay, so I write humourous poems ...
I rarely write 'free verse'
or 'perfect' iambic pentameter
yet you lambasted me
Your cruel words tore me apart
my writing style will NEVER be good enough to please YOU
So screw you...
YOU'VE WON
I QUIT
My pen will bleed no more
scaly scabs now prevent the ink from running ...
submitted to favorite free verse not for any contest
Sponsored by laura Loo
04~20~17
Everyone in the soup chant my name, because I'm bringing another poetic attack.
Ryan, you've had your 5 minutes of fame, now I'm breaking your poetic back!
So you need to be realistic, read your slam, then read mine.
I'm what people call "futuristic," because I'm a poetic Einstein!
I told you in a soup mail, when it comes to slamming, there's no competition!
P.D. has you under her spell, like she's programming an air=condition!
See I know why you stepped to the plate, you were looking for some recognition.
So your poetry I'll gladly annihilate, with your mother P.D.'s permission.
Why bother to even retaliate after my slam's left you in such a condition?
With your poetry you can't intimidate, because you haven't enough ammunition!
I hate a poet who thinks they're good when they really could use some practice.
If I could, I would beat you silly with a Texas cactus!
This isn't right of me, but Ryan you must not have had a clue,
That my slam poetry will utterally consume you....
Engulf you in a poetic inferno, and leave you a smoldering heap!
What-do-you-know!? It's a T.K.O.! And I've put Ryan to sleep!!!!
Note: This is why I don't want to slam with you, No offense, but I have to focus on your idol
P.D. So run back to her with your tail between your legs and tell her my filing cabinet is full
and ready;)
A woman's scream was the only sound, and so I rightfully put on my crown.
Like a dream, P.D. lasted 11 rounds, but has finally been knocked down.....
Sidney you fought a good fight, but the crown has always belonged to me!
You're a poetic parasite, and have no business calling your write's poetry!!
I have a slithering tongue, sending poetic orgasms throughout your mind.
My words will have you sprung, giving you back spasms as I make love to you from behind!
My word-play is sicker than bird flu, having you beg for a shot of antidote.
I'm branded on your heart like a tattoo, pouring poetic anthrax down your throat!
You had your chance at romance, but had a fear for my love's atmosphere.
I gave you love in advance, but thanks a lot, you wanted no Lancelot, So bleep you
Guinevere!
A sick fate, you chose Nate over a poetic heavyweight, so I'll be seeing you later.
Checkmate, your poetry I've come to annihilate, destroying you like a terminator!
So as I raise the title high above my head for all Poetry Soup to see;
A poetic bloodshed it will be, if another poet wants to slam with me!!!
*My fellow poets, i hope you enjoyed this fun write. I love you guys at the soup,
but it's time you guys recognized the slam champ;) "The Poetic Warlock"
There is something that I can't understand
Something blinds me when I look in your eyes
It makes my heart tremble
Can't help it I'm sweating
Wanna run away but my body seems frozen
Oh don’t you know?
Love is a deadly virus
Once colonize your veins
You become addicted
And if you wanna give up
You have a contract to sign up
Leave your heart and go
Or take it with you broken.
If I have to choose between life or death I'd rather die in your depth
At least you won't forget about me until your last breath
You might say I'm cruel
Oh baby I don't wanna play the fool
Love is a war I can destroy the world to get ya
And even if the sky explodes over my top
And the ground is shaking under my foot and the waves swallow my bone
My heart will never stop beating for you
Yeah love is a war that I don't wish to lose
Love is a fray between fear and valor
Either take the risk till the end or forget about it and move on
But since I've fell for you your love is nourishing my blood
And there’s nothing else I'd care about
Cause baby I love you and I will never stop fighting for you
Here in my valley there's no white flag above my door
And in my head it's now and ever or let’s die together
You’re an idiot –
Can’t you see
That what you write isn’t poetry?
Why aren’t you embarrassed?
How can you be pleased?
Your poetry’s the snot
Blown out of a sneeze
An ooey gooey booger
You want me to read
Well NEWS FLASH
YOU SUCK
Your poems are so bad
I can’t read past the first line
Without going MAD
Get them out of here
Your poems aren’t a gift -
In fact I will tell you
The truth and it’s this:
Your poems are just steaming
Piles of S H I T …
When you told me you didn't love me
I didn't know what to do
I didn't know how to react
Because I remember what it felt like
When I thought you wanted me
I remember when you took me
To what I thought was our first date
I remember smiles and laughs and midnight texts
A bright little light hidden under blankets
As I lay awake in bed waiting for your reply
It made me feel like a child again
Staying up late and doing something I shouldn't be
Doing something that I know would only end in trouble
I remember the first time you held my hand
I remember when I thought this
This is what love really is
I remember the exact moment I fell for you
When I thought you caught me
But in reality you were just letting me fall
Deeper and deeper and deeper
With no intentions of saving me
With no intentions of telling me no
Because you were attracted to me
You told me this
You showed me this
I remember the first time we
I want to say made love but that wasn't really it
So I remember the first time we had sex
It was something beautiful
Again I thought this, this is what love feels like.
I remember meeting your family
Your mother and father smiling and telling silly stories
Your brothers asking questions
As you cooked a meal for us all
That was my favorite memory
You started to take me on more
"Dates"
I remember red robin, Polaris, late night movies and cedar point
I remember when these started disappearing
When you stopped trying to cover up lust with love
I remember tangled bed sheets
And messy hair
I remember sleepy eyes
And a soft voice saying "you're beautiful"
I remember me believing you
Thinking that you meant it
I gave you my heart
Because I realized you actually did find me beautiful
But that was all you found
My beauty blinding your judgement
Thinking my love was lust
You thinking I wanted this too
Because there doesn't need to be any
Love in attraction
You can give away your body
Without the person wanting anything else
I don't blame you anymore
It was an easy mistake to make
I mean girls give sex to get love after all
And men give love to get sex
I remember the day you told me you didn't love me
I remember the day you told me I was beautiful
I remember the day I lost my ability to love anymore
Because I gave away my heart to a man who had no intentions of giving it back
6/14/2015
Feeling alone like I’m by myself on an Island,
Spending time within my mind and forever rhyming,
Remembering everything comes together slowly when ya smiling,
Like a raw gem that transforms into a well-crafted diamond,
While aware of the memories in the shadows that keep crying,
Tomorrows a better day when we can see over the horizon,
Compiling and filing my thoughts with perfect timing,
Always protecting my inner being while reconciling as I climb,
Climbing this ladder in this life I was given,
Driven by the beauty I see,
Knowing where I come from through my family tree,
Knowing where I’ve been, what I’ve seen,
With an active mind with neurons connecting,
Directing notions without any commotions,
Our imaginations are like the ocean,
Vast with changing tides of emotion,
Unspoken words become broken,
If you continue to keep silent,
This life we are experiencing can be vibrant,
So I look out the window and past the social climate,
Stop hiding and check out some info,
Gaining strength as I go, my way,
This is true wealth making sure I don’t betray myself,
Looking to a bookshelf to help myself learn,
Understanding one’s self has to be earned,
Through the burning temptations as I yearn for more,
The need to explore through the open door to find what’s yours,
Working on my mental flaws as I pause to give thanks,
Lighting my lamp in times of darkness,
Seeing the vastness in my mind,
Finding I have greatness that needs to be rhymed,
Designed and well organized by my inner sidekick,
Quick and honest with no nonsense I give thanks to my subconscious,
As I make a promise to myself with my inner logic,
To always write my insight and be cautious and flawless.
Quincy Mac
Date Written: 30.4.2016
You've ignited a fire beyond what you know,
my smooth hand glides providing the flow,
striking lightening that makes the mind blow,
you stole my rhymes and put them on show.
I followed the trail and look where it led,
a place full of those that are dead in the head.
I've had it with low lifes where plagiarism thrives,
you steal, you lie, and you will not survive!
Taking these rhymes of mine,
multiple times you swines,
disgraceful faces with empty brain spaces,
you have no place in the human race.
Posting all about the inspiration you taste,
you're nothing more than human waste.
Everytime I find what you've took,
I look to see what is the prize?
What do you get for these crimes?
You just get attention and praise,
what a sad way to live happy days.
Soaking up the limelight
making out you rhyme tight,
acting like you've got groove
while your reputation improves,
right up to the day that it falls through,
suddenly out of the blue I'm coming for you.
I will do to you whatever I choose,
I'll steal your laces make you a noose,
I wont give you time to say your excuse.
That poem you posted,remember who wrote it,
be aware of the fact you're poking a poet,
I'll write rhymes about you
I'll make jokes that are true,
exposing the truth with a hoof to the tooth,
the roast of the doofus stupendously useless.
You cannot match my catchy raps
so you best not try to snatch from my patch,
not any of my pieces with their sweet releases.
You live down on your knees
with your ear to ear breeze,
I rhyme with ease,
you've just climbed out the trees.
Remember that reputations will rise and will fall,
at the end is humiliation and you will feel like a fool,
so be wise, don't plagiarise and live a life of lies,
it'll steal your happiness,
and it will kill your pride.
Be wise, do not plagiarise.
(........ what you gonna do when I come for you?
plagiarise, plagiarise,
what you gonna do?
What you gonna do when I come for you?
Played your eyes, played your eyes,
what you gona do?
What you gonna do when I come for you?)
Remind me of the times past.
The time before it all went wrong.
The time before we truly thought for ourselves.
The time before we found out how different we are.
The time before controversy.
The time when we could be ourselves and felt no need
to be accepted because we didn't have to be.
Why have those times gone?
When I have a daughter or son, I am going to tell them
to never grow up.
"It's a trap," I will tell them.
Yet I will fully know that it is impossible and I will curse the world
for being such a terrible place.
And when i wake up in the morning, I will remember that
I am a part of this world and like a wise man once said,
I have to be the change I wish to see in the world.
So wake me up when I am small again.
Bring me to life when we get back to the easier days.
Let me live in the times past.
DESTROYER vs' GARETH # 3
You hit me a bit on the 3rd round
I'm not easy to knock on the ground
Literarily I'm still on my feet
In poetry, there are no side effects
Still your words have no sound
I came out of nowhere, like a threat
Your mind blew a cold sweat
Like a cigarette, I smoked you:-(
I made you sit on your poo
You don't have what it takes for Russian Roulette:-(
I put your file in a shame book
Stuck you in a cell hole, like a crook
My identity I give it a twirl
My only pearls found in a Play Girl
Between my legs, take one last look:-)
Gareth, permission to call a lawyer
Surrender your pen, to the destroyer
Apparently this you did not enjoy
Sentence of community service, WATERBOY!!
Under the supervision, "I am your new employer."
You had your head start
You miss like a blind dart
Now you called the last stop
Unfortunate I'm on top
Vultures devouring sweet flesh,
spit your words out like a fart.
On your second round, cutting you slack.
Are you done with the Anxiety attack:-(
A fountain pen, paper, packed by your Mother.
She threw them out by the gutter.
Mr James, time is up, hit the road, Jack.
The POETRY DESTROYER,
just struck back.
NOTE: (-: fun.:-)
We live in a world of brainwashed morality,
A world where the assumed romantic preference is the opposite sex,
A world where we expect people to marry and have kids.
I thought about having kids as a kid,
Marrying and having a family,
But it was not set in stone, and I questioned it.
Then I grew a little bit,
The idea lost its sheen,
And I began to think “no.”
Then I went through puberty,
In which I told you “I don’t really want kids,”
To which you said, “You’ll change your mind.”
Time has passed,
I am no longer a child, and my answer is now “no, under absolutely no circumstance.”
My answer’s been final for year on end, yet you still say the same thing.
“You’ll change your mind,” “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” “You’re too young to know what you want.”
Why is is important for me to have kids, even when I don’t want them?
The world is full of unloved people, and I would only add another.
I know what I want,
I have my values,
I don’t want kids,
And that’s my final answer.
When I was younger so much younger than today, I used to go to lots of poetry events. There was something called Red Sky that was every week, people were so very serious about it. Then one day I had an epiphany, "My god. I'm at a poetry event," and stopped going.
Later it all became poetry slams. Went to a few of those, too, in awe of the awfulness. People with neither talent for acting, for reciting, for rapping, and certainly not for writing poems, put all these lack of talents together and had total support from audiences that consisted in the main of people only waiting for their turn.
Once when I'd blessedly escaped from a typical slam, there was a homeless drunk across the street from the noisy venue. He was having his own private poetry slam.
He kicked a telephone pole and screamed "Hello telephone pole!" stomped on the concrete and screamed, "Hello sidewalk!" then peered into a garbage can with "Hello garbage!" and shook the hell out of a newspaper vending machine, "Phuck you news!" It was a better poem than any that was being screamed inside at the slam.
Some use AI yes they do
But won’t admit that it’s true
I’ve seen AI much too much
It’s got that robotic touch
As long as other folk strive
We’ll keep REAL poems alive
It’s just too good to be you
You use AI yes you do
I read each line and I stare
As I am all too aware
It is just computer speak
The content’s very weak
We must keep poetry real
With true emotions we feel
You use AI yes you do
why not admit that it's true!