Best Plaice Poems

I once dated a pilot …
We both had our head in the clouds
Our relationship lead to a lot of turbulence - 
I guess it never really got off the ground!

I once dated a glazier…
He thought I would be putty in his hands
But I could see...

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Deer poet tree righters fore the cite 

Pleas will ewe bee sweet 
and worn me if ewe have scene any miss stakes eye have maid
butt eye no my speeling and ewes off English is prefect!


Eye am knot shore if eye have ever tolled ewe 
that...

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It CAN be ‘fish n chips’  stop carping on, there’s no plaice for rudeness!

It's so sad to see a person out of their depths and just floundering

Why is it that some people always think they're right - for the halibut!

What a load of pollocks!...

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It was way after eight, at the Cat in the Hat.
    The whole plaice was swimming, quoth the mackrel to sprat.
    Though the milk was upset, she still stifled her cry,
    So sorry i spilt you,...

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I once awoke into a dream
And there I saw a sight.
Adrift, a draft of Daffodils
Breezed on a hard day's night.

Still looking up and at the sky,
A Dandelions nest, 
Shone down like rays of Buttercups
Alighting up my vest.

“Hello,” I bellied up to it.
And smiling like a...

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When eye was eating my serial this mourning
Aye red the hole rules four the contest
Eye sore it inn black and white
It was plane for all two sea
The sponsor said wee CAN make miss steaks
Butt too me this practise isn’t write, 
Nun are aloud, they are...

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lets meat-
my mary friends for a   pot LUCK meal
at my plaice
colleen can you  m a k e
       your hale mary chilly
patricia please make your suite
           ...

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For this Turk Turku is a 1-horse
city but he has got to have horse
sense. He will not be as happy as a peacock in Turkey.
Hindi, the Turk word for turkey, is how we'll call this turkey.
Hindi, when living in Turkey, was a horse
dealer. Today he's...

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One night an octopus said,
Those whelks should be in bed.
Said the herring to the plaice,
Would you please say grace.
"I say" said a passing whale,
"Is that kipper for sale."
There is somethingvery odd,
Repied a bewildered cod.
"Excuse me" asked the shark,
"Did you hear that dogfish bark".
The haddock with...

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Said a Cod to a wise old Eel,
I would like to know how you feel?
Though people snack on dips,
Lots more eat fish and chips.
They say it has great meal appeal!

Said the Eel to the wise old Cod,
I find that unusually odd.
I've never had to worry,
As...

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I comfort-ate my way all day
To try to drive the blues away.
Too many sweets my lips did pass,
Six o'clock Monday: Weight Watchers' class.

Exquisite garden full of flowers,
I sit and doze away the hours
Enchanted by those bird refrains,
Midday Today: Man clearing the drains.

I hold your image...

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IF YOU READ THE WORDS OUT LOUD IT MAKES TOTAL SENSE!

Once eye never had a hare out of plaice
Now I’m going bawled and eye am feeling blew
People are laughing and are starting to stair
Eye am going horse telling them my tail
Sum folks are very suite...

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These humorous lines were inspired by
Viv Wigley's "Food Fight" contest. 
Could not resist the temptation:)
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 

Lettuce pray before eating.
He likes rabbit,...

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When I awoke, I found I was in a different land
stood amongst trees and flowers made of sand
still holding the tv Tuna in my hand.
I walked in through the Crabs side door
and Floundered, couldn't feel my feet any more
they had gone from right under my...

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It so early it's only four o'clock and it's dark on a freezing cold and wet morning,
A man with a cap rings a bell to let us know times getting on and dawn’s dawning,
As the bell rings all the lights on at Billingsgate Market famous...

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