Best Piss Poems
brocoli rob
smoke the hemp
the day after that mechanical man Al Gore took the stand
I couldn't cry over Bourdain
tried to see what he was up to next but it was too late
a Chinese man was in the alley taking a pee pee
just after elder Bush touched some bush he gets in trouble again
this time was his friend Dan Quayle in drag
the truth can hurt at times so refined never second guessing
I'll start professing a good cause to come clean living in a land of mean
Bourdain was for Bourdain so why should we complain
the guy was totally insane taking his own life for the sake of what ?
you make me want to throw up in mouth blame, ***** & pout
the beautiful thing is when the fat lady sings but sorry it still isn't over then
got fish for frying and i'm not lying
environmental sound like Dan Quayle in a gown
stick it to the man who once said,"Yes We Can"!
more drama for your momma in comes homeboy Obama
Trump is busy working with the wall trying to stand up ten feet tall
Cold piss sorry that I missed a sacred kiss with a hero in our mist.
The taste of this piss
Just to prove myself to him
An older brother
All hail to thee love, your swave "eh" intrigues me.
Your embattlements stack like wet cordwood
upon the pile of used newspapers in my outhouse,
making the use of a corn cob most appealing.
I feel the need of purification, rejuvenation by fire.
Like holding a match under your out stretched eyelid
or maybe, just maybe sweeter, a cold sore
on the inside of your lip; so neat on a dinner date.
At least these things are real.
The lip has to heal, which it can do even if left alone.
Not like made-up words which have no direction,
no qualitative analysis, and no meaning
in the perceived circumstance or illustration.
Just made-up words which fit a line,
and you call it poetry?
You schmooze a line of B. S. at the reader,
in trite cliché and rusted phrasal tone,
riding the pretense of the sublime
and you call that poetry?
But then geezzz...? what can you expect
from someone whose only goal
is to piss someone off?
Suzy Baker was genuine white trash
Scorning fiercely, her teeth ready to flash.
Fending her homemade trailer park jungle
Dodging her dark and imminent funeral!
Lucy Walker was a pretty lady
Smiling friendly her lips always ready,
Living quiet in lovely suburbia
Meeting non-whites with xenophobia.
Why did the potter create them this way?
Was it because there were two types of clay?
One forged as a Cistern the next as an Urn
And exactly whom should this mess concern?
The growth is natural but the efforts have progress.
How professional a person is, intellect seems when a matter has discuss?
Physically or mentally, human has same level,
other matter, who is developed or miss.
Sex, anger, greed, affection or pride,
Natural factors, designing everyone’s life,
How a mind sharp or a soul is kind?
Reserve nature or socialization has own business.
Everything has two pairs, parallel or oppose,
Up or down, left or right and dark or bright,
Everything is mortal that we care or careless.
Nobody can add or alter, how is strange?
A day or night or weather runs itself,
All natural things are free, me is really impress.
Crisis and disaster also a part of living,
Systematically works perfect that is feeble or strong,
Life has nothing to gain at last, everything is stress.
Life is natural who lives natural a person needs to decide,
A religion, creed, colour, gender or caste,
Criminality develops itself when a life is full of piss?
If they toss coal and glass.
Just chew it up and spit it out.
Every now and again you'll even find a diamond.
Laying infinite shine to your soul smile.
So, when they sling those hateful things.
At the stained-glass window of your being.
You can clean your caliber and hone your cutlery.
or spit back a fountain of jagged love.
If you don't do something, they'll bury you alive.
Then piss all over your busted skull.
Your full of piss and vinegar
My dad used to say
I don't want to smell like pee
To my mother I'd cry my way
Since I wouldn't use the toilet
The pee turned to vinegar over time
This is how my dad potty trained me
It still works on grandchildren of mine
Ammonia-ed clumps of damp, dunged straw
forked onto her cold barrow, then rolled outside.
Across the field where her ninety pounds
thrust up the dray atop a mulching mound!
Nineteen times before the sour dregs
are swallowed by the day.
Bowed tendons stripe her calloused palms with pain.
She racks each open with a metal comb
to rake her horse’s mane.
Stall cleaned; horse fed, mane combed to shine as gold-
Showered, she brings her smile to our bed.
Early morning
I get a pissy look
from a worn-out moon.
Off to work
From a pissy guard booth
I get a pissy look.
Next. I get a pissy look from the supervisor.
Who got a pissy look from the manager.
Who got a pissy look from God. I presume.
Lunchtime, an old woman baking minimum wage.
Serving food to a thousand pissy faces.
Her smile is worth a million bucks.
An island of diamonds in an ocean of pissy.
Little munchkin dweeb
He whines all the time
about:
His Looks
The World situation
Reality wear and tear programmes
Rich and famous Celebrity Hunks and their -itches
He is a spoiler of good times and party animals
A goof with a pen protector in his shirt pocket
RADAR O'REILLY of the company clerk set
The pat and pansy of the awkward sect
They like to spite this little pisser
The GIRLIES all think that he is
a terrible kisser
NAH NAH,YOU'RE A 4-EYED WEENIE
YOU'LL NEVER GO BETWEEN A PRETTY ONE'S BIKINI
A dufus who can't see right to try and bridge the generation bright
Their knuckle sandwiches lead to another kleenex for his nose
He should crawl back upon the hill from which he came
Instead of causing us so much weary pain
A Piss Ant for the next Generation
Too shy to speak
who cannot express his inner frustration
Thus you have:
A tiny moron without TRUE AMBITIONS
Piss
I tell missy for class say;
Aunty, i want to go and piss
Naim everybody con begin to de laugh,
Auty coman get angry and get up and shout
'Class if i hear pim again'
Anty na look at my side and talk say,
You this child;
You can not come and kill me in this school,
Now correct yourself in good English
Before i flog your bum bum,
'I wan to go outside and wee wee anty' please
As the piss don catch me well well
I now run straight from inside class to lavatory.
In the lavatory, i see many many big big ;
Some black, brown, water - water and
small small worm everywhere,
It is not working again
So it is smelling bad bad
And teacher say dirty environment
Is germs and disease place
I now coman run to the bush
In the back of lavatory to piss
Kr kr kr kr
The zipper didn't want to open
So i now draw my school knicker down
And lowered my pant,
'Pss psssssssssss pss pss.
Pr pr pr pr prrrrrrrrrrrrr
Leki kettle way de blow whistle.
After i now finish pissing,
I shake my thing very well so the last drop
do not stain my cloth
So my Classmate will not say
I piss on my body and start calling me
"Pissi pissi for body".
Ghops
There is no way I would buy beer,
none of the brands that are brewed here.
How can you drink any of this?
American beer, bottled piss.
I’ll list any domestic brand
It’s so easy to understand
It’s gassy, yellow, and tasteless.
American beer, bottled piss.
They don’t care any way it’s brewed
Companies are selfish and rude.
Do you think they care about this?
American beer, bottled piss.
From Prohibition, to today,
no change; it’s always been that way.
This is nothing to reminisce.
American beer, bottled piss.
In Germany, or Vietnam,
none will sell; they don’t give a damn.
They just won’t buy any of this!
American beer, bottled piss.
If you’re here, or you’re over there,
wherever you are, they don’t care.
There is nothing here I would miss.
American beer, bottled piss.
No one gets much for their money.
I’ll show you where it’s not sunny.
Here is my ass for you to kiss.
American beer, bottled piss.
piss & vinegar
“the kid’s gonna be full of
piss & vinegar,”
they might say,
when gathered round in a
family function &
watching the little one run amok,
or they might see her/him throw a ball &
deduct that the kid will certainly be a
famous football player,
or when the little one whines,
suddenly the rock star is born---
all of this resides in the dreaming mind of the
parent,
but means nothing in the great scheme of the
little one’s life to come,
for s/he will be everything that was never imagined &
part nurture, part nature,
there might be a chance,
if you’re lucky,
that s/he turns out
happy,
which is much more important
than any of the lives you wish you had led,
which you thrust on the life of
a kid whose barely begun yet.
Your validations eradicated from the goodness of a nightmare
You may wonder outside of the box
But you will soon be greeted by the face of a wall (the sign of a new box)
No one Truly thinks ouside the Box for you see...
(once you do, you'll relize your just in a new one, bigger and more space to think,
But all the same, You will never think outside the box)
Evaluate the parted ship from land to sea, adrift
Base your results on the problem of a devided sanity if Humanity
Derevolutionize the lines out of the skies
Ground Zero only to be thought of if Earth were to devide by zero
Face your fears and defile the monsters your child has born
Correct the classified and deny Santa's eye
"Afiliation of the Green" is on the radio
Just talking to let you know
Were designed to breed an Army of Destroyers
To mourn the disasters by recreation
Using up all condemnation
Satan's Hair locks Doushe our Forever to Eternity Damnations
RIGHTEOUS RETRIBUTION
I awoke this morning soaked in piss and puke but I know it wasn’t mine
For the night before I had consumed no rum, tequila nor any soured wine
And so I came to the conclusion that Jesus had been the source of what I had awoken to
But my deepest regret is that I didn’t awake being anyone but me, anyone else including you
Because the most difficult job in the world is being me and there ain’t no paycheck at the end of the week
So it’s okay if Christ himself yearns to vomit on me or had taken a leak
For the things I’ve done cannot be described by the spoken words which I may say
Horrid and horrible crimes against man and nature for which I must thusly pay
Or the imbecilic statements I might utter
Words spat out with not a stutter
So that which my savior does is simply payment for the horrid and horrible acts for which I deserve such retribution
And alas,, it’s justifiable that Jesus made me awake to his most righteous contribution
© 2011.…Phreepoetree ~free cee!~