Best Peeved Poems
To the tune of.. “These are a Few of my Favorite Things“.
Bass boomers spreading their mis’ry in traffic
Craving attention and driving me spastic,
Not caring an oodle for anyone else,
This **** will drive one to poor mental health!
Cops who ignore them and keep right on driving,
Passing we drivers who are suff’ring and sighing,
Speeding, ignoring all laws of the road ,
Why do they think they’re exempt from the code?!
That lady texting who’s climbing your bumper,
Foll’wing for miles, you’d sure like to dump her,
Getting so peeved I just ran a red light!…
But she’s hanging in there with all of her might!
Here comes a pick up and he’s really flying,
can’t push me over but he’s really trying,
sans blinkers he cut me in one single swoop,
You scraped my bumper you dang nincompoop!
Sweating and trying, for my place I’m vying,
Choking on gas fumes, ‘n some kid is crying
That lady just stopped for a friggin green light,
I screeched on my brakes and near died of fright!
That bass nut’s still booming, my blood pressure’s zooming,
That green light stopper’s picked this time for grooming
That texter’s horn behind me is starting to blow,
The light turned red and she thinks I should go!
These are a few of my least favorite things,
That I could avoid if I only had wings…
I commute 3 hours a day and this is just
a sample. : )
,
Dear S.,
I was in the market yesterday
digging through a tray of grapes
trying to find the freshest bag,
but most seemed half-decayed.
I was just about to leave
(feeling mighty peeved),
but then - you won't believe!
Carole King came on the radio
and the world began to move real slow.
Even the fruit held its breath
(half-rotten and close to death).
She sang about the earth moving
and the sky tumbling,
and it made me think of you.
I thought of that summer -
the one before our senior year
when your dad taught us how to drive
(and got annoyed and made me cry).
Remember that?
We washed his car with soap and tears,
sipping on bottles of cold root beer.
Out of tune, we'd dance and sing
along to songs by Carole King.
Well, I want you to know -
You made my day,
even though you're far away.
And, you know, Carole said it best:
I feel my heart start to trembling
whenever you're around.
I miss that.
And I miss you.
Love,
Me
"Why do you love me, Dear?" she cooed.
"You're cuddly, cute, and sweet," he said.
"Your mama's cat is too," she cried
and made some distance in the bed.
"Just teasing, Hon! I wasn't through,"
he reasoned with his peeved young wife.
"I'd be a wretched, lonely man
without you to complete my life."
"Now, why do you love me?" he asked.
Her answer: "You're so good and kind
and very easy on the eyes.
A man like you is quite a find."
He smiled. "Such precious words, my love,
but you've described our pastor too
and other men we both could name.
Why was it I you chose to woo?"
"Your point is gently made," she said.
"My HEART chose you, and yours chose me."
Mere words will never be enough
to tell what eyes of love can see.
Date: January 29, 2018
Contest Title: Eloquent Banter: You Tease me So Nicely Placed 1st
Sponsor: Edward McCall
January 7, 2019, entered in Mark Toney's 2019 Poetry Marathon,
mile 10 placed 7th of 10
September 10, 2020
entered in the Strand Completely Your Choice (7) Poetry Contest
Some people speak so softly
that our ears they do strain..
We ask them to repeat themselves
over and over again..
It's frustrating to both parties and
some times they get peeved, as
the speaker and the listener want
their message received..
We live in such a hurry and get
caught up in scuttle buttle,
that we often don't hear God's voice
as his messages can be subtle..
When you arise from sleep as the
darkness meets the dawn, listen
closely for his whispers as it's us
for which God longs..
Precariously personable
Privately peeved
Parading pompously
Pronouncing pretty paragraphs
Possibly pretending pompousness
Poetic permanence
Powerfully
Performed
Near Earth Objects
NASA watches sky
Asteroids whiz by
It's About Time
`Crazy Rich Asians'
Exceeding all expectations
Chasing Unicorns
Unicorn float stuck
Unicorn startups' luck
Truth Isn't Truth
"Truth isn't truth"
Message for youth?
Culinary Robotics
Creator robot burger
Fad or future?
Oui Oui No No
Public urinals conceived
Paris residents peeved
Take It To The Limit
Eagles Greatest Hits
Most platinum certificates
What a spectacle Betty was making
of herself in the kitchen while baking.
She kept tripping and falling.
Other cooks found it galling
all the dishes each day she kept breaking.
Today it’s much better she’s faring,
for the cause was made known for her erring.
Betty now feels relieved
that her boss is not peeved
since new spectacles she has been wearing!
(this has now been revised as a quintain for Joe maverick's contest.
If you happen to see the quintain version. I'm just curious to
to know which seems more effective, this limerick version or the quintain form?)
Public urinals conceived
Paris residents peeved
Sea Czar Caesar sees her seated on a cedar two-seater beside the East Sea Seder. He grieves since he sees his sister, Esther Dexter, with her red festered blister, next her.
Guinevere is pleased her eager leader, Caesar’s seen her. In degrees, she breezes, “Sir, see our sea surf? These sea treasures are pleasures to sea czars and we serfs.”
Caesar desires, if it please her, to seize her and squeeze her.
But Esther Dexter who’s next her interjects the elder perspective protector with an inflective reflector.
“Easy, wheezy geezer Caesar. It may please her if you squeeze her at your leisure, but if you seize her in a fever, she’s sure to seizure; so leave her at ease, sir!”
Peeved Caesar, seethes, sneezes, wheezes, breathes and proceeds. He’s pissed his less best pest of a sister, Esther Dexter, with her red festered blister, persists amidst this tryst.
He flees to cleave Guinevere’s knees. “See here, dear Guinevere. I’m neither teaser nor misfeasor geezer and will not proceed to cede to my tongue twisted sister, Esther Dexter. Please heed to receive my believable plead so I may leave relieved.”
Guinevere is pleased with her Caesar and suggests to Esther Dexter to leave her and Caesar forever.
The cooks in the restaurant found it appalling
how Betty messed up every pie she was baking
and how- from her tripping and falling -
dish after dish Cook Betty kept breaking.
What a spectacle of herself she was making!
Today, however, Betty is relieved
because of how much better she is faring.
All the other cooks are no longer peeved,
for Cook Betty has stopped all her erring
thanks to the new spectacles she's wearing!
(Revision of my previous post, which needed to be a quintain
for Joe Maverick's Contest)
Drool the duck got mad at a bull and whacked up a bee
She was so bad she took the cat for a cup of tea
Cat was a mangler
Upcountry wrangler
Peeved the duck with the muck and mucked her up with a pee
DROOL THE DUCK: Limerick: copyright© RAJAT KANTI CHAKRABARTY November 2014
When Ma got her social security check
To the Cripple Creek casinos she'd trek
Coins passed through her greedy paws
To feed the slots' gaping maws
Leaving Pa peeved wanting to wring her neck
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved
Dee said she loved me I was pleased
She wanted me I was relieved
But Dee let me down
I felt like a clown
Turned down to be a man I peeved
Send a text
And what comes next
Perhaps is a reply...
But maybe not
And you know what?
You'll have no reason why.
Was not received
Or someone's peeved
And chooses to ignore it...
'Cause on the screen
What you might mean
Has no way to explore it.
So what to do?
I've thought it through
And think you should resend it...
But that advice
May not suffice,
Thus I cannot defend it.
Instead I wait
In such a state
That keeps my nerves a'jangle...
And check my phone
'Cause one alone
Can make those nerves untangle.
The Wicked Witch was Tin Man’s fantasy
He'd never seen such a beauty as she
It rained and his joints seized
Left poor Tin Man quite peeved
Every step that he took was misery...
They stopped at Yellow Brick Rd gas station
Asked the pump jockey for lubrication
He sprayed Tin Man with grease
So, he could move with ease
Tin Man jumped up and down with elation...
He held the witch’s hand but wanted more
But didn't foresee what fate had in store
Something hadn't been greased
Tin Man wasn't too pleased
When his rusted man thing dropped on the floor...