My Least Favorite Things

To the tune of.. “These are a Few of my Favorite Things“.

Bass boomers spreading their mis’ry in traffic
Craving attention and driving me spastic,
Not caring an oodle for anyone else,
This **** will drive one to poor mental health!

Cops who ignore them and keep right on driving,
Passing we drivers who are suff’ring and sighing,
Speeding, ignoring all laws of the road ,
Why do they think they’re exempt from the code?!

That lady texting who’s climbing your bumper,
Foll’wing for miles, you’d sure like to dump her,
Getting so peeved I just ran a red light!…
But she’s hanging in there with all of her might!

Here comes a pick up and he’s really flying,
can’t push me over but he’s really trying,
sans blinkers he cut me in one single swoop,
You scraped my bumper you dang nincompoop!

Sweating and trying, for my place I’m vying,
Choking on gas fumes, ‘n some kid is crying
That lady just stopped for a friggin green light,
I screeched on my brakes and near died of fright!

That bass nut’s still booming, my blood  pressure’s zooming,
That green light stopper’s picked this time for grooming
That texter’s horn behind me is starting to blow,
The light turned red and she thinks I should go!

These are a few of my least favorite things,
That I could avoid if I only had wings…


I commute 3 hours a day and this is just 
a sample. : )




,
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

12
Wesley Avatar
November 17, 2011 at 8:16 PM
Misery does such a good job to entertain but I can't imagine how you put up with it. day after day must be a nightmare. Is retirement the only solution? You sure know how to give a creative rant, one of the best I've read.
Zzzzz Avatar
October 8, 2011 at 4:58 AM
Ahhh....the joys of driving! An expressive poem!
Suzadail Jr. Avatar
August 23, 2011 at 7:27 PM
I had a 3 hour commute (1 1/2 each way) for 30 years. I think that's why my middle finger is arthritic. I never texted but I did use international sign language a lot. I was lucky, most of my commute was open road. I liked this poem. Vince
Ramage Avatar
August 4, 2011 at 10:43 PM
Oh, I agree, what a great poem/song. I took early retirement but I use to drive 200 miles a day to and from work, so I can relate. Congratulations, great work, as usual. Lee
Horne Avatar
August 4, 2011 at 11:59 AM
Wow, so many contest results again! Many congrats for all your wins : )
Johnson Avatar
August 4, 2011 at 12:50 AM
they making cars that fly soon, so we can have 4 dimensional road rage ...get outtaa me way hey hey hay
Onclaud Avatar
August 3, 2011 at 11:24 AM
i'm under the sounds-of-music spell, robert..a rousing applause to you for the shining win! ..:) huggs!
Brown Avatar
August 3, 2011 at 7:23 AM
Congratulations on your placement in Natalie's contest Robert. Love, Carol
Taylor Avatar
August 2, 2011 at 10:11 PM
Congrats on your win, Bob. Awesome. Nice going. Ralph
Sweetheart Avatar
August 2, 2011 at 9:33 PM
Congrats Robert on your fantastic fifth place win with this dynamo poetry luv..enjoy..
Mehta Avatar
August 2, 2011 at 9:20 PM
Congratulations on the win in the contest of Natalie ,Robert
The Rogue Rhymer Avatar
August 2, 2011 at 8:02 PM
Robert-I love it and I love that you put it to the tune of the song. Very clever! Ohh, I used to date a cop and it is true. He would drive drunk all of the time...told me he had a "get out of jail free card." He also admitted that the cops take the confiscated bottle rockets/beer from minors and go out into a field and light off the fireworks and drink the beer! That probably won't surprise many. I almost just kept dating him to hear his stories :)
B Avatar
August 2, 2011 at 1:43 PM
You poor soul!! I think I can relate, though I no longer have an atrocious commute, I have been there... so many people who need to be throttled!!
Loving Iii Avatar
August 1, 2011 at 6:39 PM
great piece but a miserable life. john
Mehta Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 9:02 PM
Humorous and quite catchy write, Robert
Susan Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 7:30 PM
this goes perfectly with the music! you should enter this in natalie's contest :) I hate people on my bumper too, especially after having been rear-ended. it gives me anxiety. awesome poem!
Ball Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 6:39 PM
hahahahaha I super loved this Robert. Gotta keep this one in my faves. Great job. God Bless, JB
Kendrick Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 6:39 PM
Out there driving especially in a large city is really dangerous and noisy this day and time..Rudeness and bad manners rules..Thanks for stopping by, reading, and commenting on my work..Sara
Devonshire Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 5:30 PM
Rob, read your comment and I could ask for a better "pen" pal. LOL Also was wondering where you work with this long commute. You live by Lake Okeechobee, right? Do you commute to Orlando? Gee, we could get together for dinner sometime. Takes me about 75 minutes to get to Orlando. Love, Carolyn
Maverick Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 5:18 PM
Yes its all out there Robert...
Devonshire Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 4:28 PM
Awesome, Rob. Your poem not only fit the melody perfectly, but you touched on some of my nerves as well. Can't stand hearing the loud music from other cars. Are they deaf? And why do people stop at green lights? Senility? Texting and driving should be banned and violators should be prosecuted. Excellent poem, my friend! Love, Carolyn
Sweetheart Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 12:33 PM
ah Robert u have penned a rare beauty with all things so true today for traveling.. I remember not too long ago I did the commute via train everyday for work and even on the train it was iffy.. driving is no longer pleasant either luv.. a brilliant composition.. any solutions luv??
Beck Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 12:18 PM
Robert...... An excellent picture you paint......I know exactly what you mean, as do all city drivers......a humorous treatment of various people types, similar in some ways to my EATING OUT scribble.....and thank you for the very kind words you offered me...I appreciate and welcome all the support I can get ! best wishes...Syd
Austin Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 11:30 AM
A regular traffic bummer encyclopedia. Super effort, Robert. Yes, the bass-boomers are infuriating. One wonders what goes on in a mind that would want such volume. One of my pets - pardon if you are an owner - are vans. You cannot see over or around them, and they think they own the road. Actually, I wish I owned one, because they are lots of fun to drive in or be a passenger - visibility is super. What would I be like as a fan owner? Love, daver
Dietrich Avatar
July 31, 2011 at 11:27 AM
hahaha, if I only had wings. . . That could be a new song sung to wizard of oz's If I only had a brain: If I only had some wings. VERY cute. sure to please the judge. Looks like you have me beat for communting by over an hour! Luv, Andrea
12
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace