Best Omg Poems
It's raining cats and dogs on a dark and stormy night -
with such a stroke of genius, a poet starts to write.
Inane clichés he's banging out to beat the band,
a booby trap as big as life to bite the poet's hand.
It opens up a can of worms to catch the early birds
but with no bird in hand he'll have to eat his words.
The tropes are fresh as daisies, with infinite supplies
of broken-hearted lovers, and rainbow butterflies.
Garbage in and garbage out, it's fun and games for all,
to sell you down the river and drive you up the wall.
For if it's true a pen is more mighty than a sword,
then we're as good as dead, for to death we will be bored.
..............................................................................................................
Oh - Emm - Geeeee !!!
Who me??
OMG!...I'm gonna wig out, doing this poem!!
A ditz like me writing for a freakin’ contest, no less!!!??
You gotta be kiddin' me !!! Holy fricassee!!
No Way. Jose' !! I'm such a space cadet....OMG !! I’m spazzing out!!
Well...geeze, then..... like, I get this head rush...
I'm getting majorly stoked, ya know?..Like...maybe I’ll give it a shot?...
Still...ya know..., whaddif I, like, totally bombed it!!? OMG!!
I mean, like, ya know how all them other poets?...
Well....like they are so classic...like, ya know?...so awesomely rad!?
Like... say, they eyeball mine, and bustin’ up, they scream…
"Gag me with a spoon?!! CHECK OUT THIS FREAKIN’ GROSS POEM!”
Well,what the hay,.... ..no biggie, guess it wouldn't such a bummer...
yeah......well, shoot, they can call me a loser......who gives a rip??
So, I figure, like ....Whatever, dude!!
Okay, now, I'm totally pumped,...ya know?
Waddif it’s ends up freakin’ sweet? Oh, Pleeeease!!!
Like a win, geeze that would be majorly...rad!!!
I KID YOU NOT! OMG !!! I'm so SURE !! YEAH RIGHT,….AS IF!!!!!
Man, I’m so clueless …hmm. how do I even start this freakin' essay?
so, like....here goes...okay?
Ya' say they won't like it, huh??.. HUH ??? Ya' think??
Tell em to go take a chill pill!!
Duhhhh........!!!!? WHATEVER!!
____________________________________________________
Just for fun!: For the Slang Contest
(and be sure....this isn't how I normally talk LOL !!)
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Lol she replied to my joke that went over well
I paused in reflection thoughts of what the hell
LOl? Really lol instead of a giggle or laugh
My inner a--hole surfaced on English’s behalf
Why would you say that in a conversation I said
You’re killing English which is almost already dead
Um.. I really don’t know I guess it’s like a laugh she said with slight hesitation
No. not the slightest bit at all with an obvious frustration
OMG are you mad at me for an expression I used
OMG? Not another one and I’m upset with you for a language you abused
And by the way what’s OMG stand for
Oh my God, it’s another one we use, I’ve got more
No please don’t continue, heck omg who woulda knew
Well now you know so they can be used by you
Yeah I guess your right I’ll give it a try F.U.
Where I live, you have to ask for one.
And there may not be one
but you know how it used to be and
now you don't, so much.
Lighten up anyway, 'cause hey
and hay didn't used to be so
far away from those
incredible cafe ashtrays.
Once upon a time
in a not-so-distant land
floors of stores pretended to be
ashtrays.
Now we grind all sortsa
other stuff in our stories.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CAFE MUSING by Nancy Jones
The depths of my soul are too shallow.
The fruits of my labor grew fallow.
A sing songy rhyme in three quarter time.
Is all that this poem has to show.
But what can a free thinking fellow.
Do when his mind has turned to jello.
As he sits and requires to express.
What he knows, he know's won't impress.
So he jump's in with nothing to lose.
With his iambic poetic shoes.
If you pay close attention.
You'll notice him mention.
But quite secretly, only with clues.
The afternoon's weaving and waving.
As he still sit's here just misbehaving.
Doing nothing worth while, now somewhat of a style.
He finds that it's all that he's craving.
An emptiness filled to the brim.
Is all that is left inside him.
A repose to the past that surely can't last.
OMG, are you kidding, how dim.
Long ago there was betold
a tale that many have descried,
of a creature, scaled and icy cold
havin' two black bulging eyes.
An impudent beast, brassy and bold,
bewitched because of foolish pride.
The myth tells she's often seen
withered, wrinkled and omg mean!
A bitter and ugly nasty ole fiend,
bellowing in screeches is her choice
in dead of night and midst of day.
Stench of breath from tooth decay.
Close your ears to that shrill voice.
Don't let your children out to play.
Don't get close or point your finger.
She'll bite, chew and claw at you,
so do not pause and do not linger.
With sharpened talons she scribbles
unintelligible things in bloody dribbles.
Heed this warning and you'll be spared
from the furious fire breathing dragon.
From in her cavern she once even dared
to scream in defiance at the morning sun,
yelling curses with her waggin' tongue.
Then she nestled in the back of her cave,
resting her head upon a pillow of dung.
************
I lay in my bed
Paralyzed from my
Head to my Leg
Blind for over two year's
While these feelings'
Were stagnant
They laid in my head
---------
While laying there
I had plenty time to think
I would just sit there
Waiting for a cold drink
--------
Seem that all was over
The casket had been laid
I could only think of God
Was this the Cross
The price that He had paid
--------
Fore I was dieing from Aids'
And Addison Disease
I was on steroids,
Yet, my Soul was a ease...
--------
Fore I had seen the Lord
Yes, I went to the Light
They said that I would die
My sister brought me home
So that I would not die alone
------
But, their was this one thing
That stayed in my head
The Lord said to spread the word
To tell everyone what He
Had said,
--------
This I did wonde
How that could be
Fore I was weak
My body was cold
I was desirous of sleek
-------
That very night
As I laid in my bed
I gave my life to
The Lord,
Of my own accord
-----
Then something happen
To change everthing
I felt so much joy
Even though I could
Never sing....ha.ha.
-------
Time passed by
As though an inkling
From time...
I was even out of the bed
With Jesus soul ly
On my mind
------
Then some-thing else happen
The next time I looked
Guess What?
I had time to write
A new book...
------
" The Cross "
GF
How can I write one?
Syllablistic seizures
crouch in dark corners.
I peek through my blinds to be nosy
So what I am normal and in my room it is nice and cosy,
I feel like I am old lady kravitz on bewitch
And yet I call some one else that and I am the *****,
Pointing flaws out in other people feels so good
By doing this it makes my seem like it should,
Being hateful and mean is what I have become
This is what I do to one and maybe some,
I pride myself in calling them names
But, lord knows I'm the hater so I hide this side of me to not be ashamed.
Written By: UNique Poetry 2015
OMG ... I can't believe it's over
OMG ... I can't believe how it ended.
Feel I offended your heart in some way.
Feel I took a step backward and now I am falling.
Falling into a deep abyss.
OMG ... You cut me quick.
No communication. No feeling of regret for what we had.
Cold and heartless.
What about love?
What about the feelings we shared to one another...OMG
Played myself for a fool and learned a true life lesson.
Never again will I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Never again will I try to find something that's not there.
Never again will I put myself in a bad position.
Figured what we shared would suffice and endure.
No tears from either of us, which was never our style.
Yet, I still see your smile.
Smell you scent.
Feel your tender kiss.
OMG ... Said things I didn't mean.
Said I didn't want you.
When I know I did.
OMG ... I remember how you slammed the door shut.
I thought it would always be open to me.
That is life.
Hurt my pride so.
OMG, OMG, OMGggggooooooodddddd
I miss you.
Wish I could have another moment.
Or press rewind.
I would bring you back to me and never let go.
Did you ever love me?
I will probably never know!
Oh My God!
Oh My God Ms Priss
your controlfreakiness has
influenced my life
in unexpected
ways of which I never dreamed
have denied myself
family company
so that I don't have to lie
or cry to cover
the questions of how
you are or what's up with the
'lil strawberry girl
time is not our friend
my green eyes are now red, white
and blue cause of you
shell
my name
super cute
the words she spoke
my baby's first word
a big smile on my face
over and over all day
headache and a frown on my face
if only i could change my name
this darn baby is driving me crazy!
Sink your disgusting display last night
but stick nigh close to a sick night
one sick guide
a poem a write off the chart
to sick mind
and maybe be seen on your next door
love your neighbors Internet WiFi
OMG its Santa Claus he yelped and then he ran for the Mickey mask
ducking slinking making small, he hid behind so he didn't have to ask
suddenly he heard an elfish sputter, "Quenya, Tengwar, Luin , Papain"
he lingered longer just to see but fell asleep half way through the task
Santa gave a shaky belly laugh ate one cookie then drank from a flask
No clatter was heard atop the roof just a sigh from little Stevie Woohoo
who didn't have a clue how Santa's shop created, the anti-covid brew
zappy and witty they refilled His cup, "uenque, minque, limpe, maint"
once known as Nicholas, now known as Chris, he delivers without flu
leaving behind a dose of magic, and a spoonful of healtheous goo...
To the White House he did fly to deliver a parcel of good news, and some
he ate the Presidential cookies with delight then wiped up every crumb
in the oval office the treaty was sealed, "Parf, Edhellen, Tenna, Elwen"
healed and restored we were united once again when the cure did come
he returned to the North like a happy drummer boy and his ratatat- tum.
Contest Name: Santa's Covid Christmas
om”g”!
oh my fictional character!
can it be true?
has justin
really broken
up with selena?
how will we all go on?
how will we make it through the
day?
will there be fighting, looting &
fires?
will schools be closed, streets
blocked off?
will sandbags be stacked up one upon
the other?
will
someone free us from our
curled up crying fetal positions
alone in the corner,
without the contractual,
timberlake-spears-ish,
mickey ****ing mouse club
“love”
with which the two of these
candy cotton
fluff bags
did walk the earth?
&
will their songs ever have the
“meaning” which they once
did?
om”g,”
we are so lost as a species now!
we are so ****ing lost!