She Was Omg Mean

Long ago there was betold a tale that many have descried, of a creature, scaled and icy cold havin' two black bulging eyes. An impudent beast, brassy and bold, bewitched because of foolish pride. The myth tells she's often seen withered, wrinkled and omg mean! A bitter and ugly nasty ole fiend, bellowing in screeches is her choice in dead of night and midst of day. Stench of breath from tooth decay. Close your ears to that shrill voice. Don't let your children out to play. Don't get close or point your finger. She'll bite, chew and claw at you, so do not pause and do not linger. With sharpened talons she scribbles unintelligible things in bloody dribbles. Heed this warning and you'll be spared from the furious fire breathing dragon. From in her cavern she once even dared to scream in defiance at the morning sun, yelling curses with her waggin' tongue. Then she nestled in the back of her cave, resting her head upon a pillow of dung.