Best Off Base Poems
Eve T.M.M. is a sweet Canadian gal
A product of the wild wild west
Living between Edmonton and Calgary
Imagine as a cowgirl she's dressed
Riding frisky stallions and lassooing steers
Roundup time on Circle M Ranch
With the majestic Rockies off in the distant
A loud Yippy-Ki-O she does chant
Now my friends, I could be totally off base
Eve may just be a simple city girl
Perhaps just a sweet down to earth real lady
Sending rancher's heads in a whirl
Well I'd like to think she's a sophisticated lady
With servants at her beck and call
Wearing a diamond studded evening gown
Dancing the night away at the ball
Eve T.M.M. is a sweet Canadian gal
A product of the wild wild west
© Jack Ellison 2015
The rumbling of thunder
From some bowlers in the sky
Makes me shudder, gape and wonder
Why we tell our kids that lie.
Does it reassure them, thinking
All that noise is just a game?
Or are they aware we’re winking,
Making such a silly claim?
As a child I did envision
Rip Van Winkle getting strikes;
And I pictured the collision –
Pins and ball – each bowler likes.
But I knew that my perception
Didn’t make a lot of sense
And that grown-ups used deception
At their little ones’ expense.
Still, perhaps their best intention
Isn’t really so off-base
If it soothes some apprehension
And puts giggles in its place.
So when thunder starts resounding
I will think just like a tyke
And find comfort that the pounding
Is another bowler’s strike!
Farewell George
No warm wishes here
Gone is your reign of feeding on fear
No more incompetent good 'ol boy antics
So long to your off-base far-right fanatics
Actually... unfortunately...they're still here
But gone is your non-sensical ethics to cheer
Time now to mend global relation
You made breaking those ties a vocation
Stomping through conquering with elation
Overpowering nation, all while on vacation
Farewell George
Enjoy the robbed riches
Like I said, with no well wishes
Choke on the oil soaked cash you made
Retire on what defense contracts paid
We'll pay for the pile of weapons "needed"
To see a race of peaceful people depleted
Using the villiany of one man we enabled
trained, and armed him...then turned the tables
Using weapon of mass destruction deceit
knowing they're there because we have the receipt
Farewell George
No, don't even say Jeb
Two times are enough in the Bush family web
It actually goes further than you and your Dad
Should I mention the ties Gramps and the binLadens had?
Should I say he did well with investing Nazi money?
Your family is so evil...its no where near funny
Farewell George...If you were curious...I'm not your biggest fan.
A toddler in a stroller passed
And, looking at her face,
It seemed to me that she was
Merely staring into space.
Which made me wonder – could it be
She’d nothing on her mind?
If not, and I could read her thoughts,
What musings would I find?
I wish I had a lollipop.
I need some better toys.
My pre-school class has way too many
Mean and nasty boys.
My lunch today was yucky.
Why does Mommy have to work?
And why did Daddy come home mad
And call his boss a jerk?
I know, I might be way off base.
Perhaps within that stare
Were thoughts of all the happy things
She couldn’t wait to share.
Shh! Scientists can't find us, only natives know
Sauropods survived when dinosaurs went extinct
Cameroon people have spotted us many times
Please help us hide! Our species' future's on the brink!
Email received, confirmed sightings in Cameroon
Scientists meet, to discuss an expedition
To discover such creatures are living today
We must investigate, fact or speculation
Damn! The word has gone out that we may be alive
Guess leaving footprints three-feet wide was not too wise
Researchers are arriving with sonar in boats
Thirty-foot forms in rivers are hard to disguise
We are now underway, West Africa we head
In search of this wonder will these Sauropods show
To capture them on film to learn how they survived
Will they reveal themselves, in their dense jungle flow
The Jurassic Period? They were way off base
They think that was the demise of most dinosaurs
Scientists haven't a clue, but 'tween me and you
My Loch Ness cousin's laughing; he's a plesiosaur
Africa reached, camp set up in the jungle
It's certainly different to Drumnadrochit
Footprints, something big up ahead is closing in
By Jove a Sauropod, i think we've found it
Oh, Dear! I just stepped out of the river to eat
I'm birthing a child and needed to munch some leaves
But I think we've been spotted; this was our last hope
My daughter's our species' last female, I believe
A glimpse through the trees sighting confirmed, Wow! check this
Mother and calf, with not a care in their jungle
How very fortunate we are to witness this scene
We have to leave them alone; this we can't bungle
We now send the co-author tag to John Loving and James Peranteau! Have at it, boys!!
HARVEY WALL-BANGERS
Having a good time drinking Harvey Wall-bangers
Always watching out on how much I drink
Reaching into an unknown realm of alcohol
Very tempting this drink can be to one and all
Enlivening me to unknown territory can be tempting
Yolanda my friend can sure be a bad influence
Whispering along with all those lyrics of songs
All being off tune and not sounding of rock and roll
Loud we all are and way off base and can take critisim
Lead singer went on vacation now we all can’t sing
Bringing so much cheer we all get along with lots of things
Another day starts and we’re all feeling so far off key
Neal Armstrong is not roaming around near here to see
Give us another song and we may be able to reach a crescendo
Enlivening this place is like living among the high in Los Dango
Really I have to tell you now, I really do not like drinking Harvey Wall-bangers.
Sincerely all my friends and I now and then do have fun without drinking alcohol.
REALLY LIFE CAN BE LIKE SOME KIND OF METAPHOR!!
08/20/16
She's my omego, yeah I'm talking about (Linda) p,d
Don't you know?, I always love reading your poetry
Ok we have never met and we just converse online
But when on the net, I get a glimpse of you in rhyhm
I love your every metaphor, you give good insight
You take me on a magical tore with your every write
You give a good introspection of the time and space
You have such a wide selection, I can't keep up pace
And I often wonder what it's like where you are, my omego?
I've always love'd the Spanish guitar, the sound of flamenco
I get this picture of a gorgeous dancer and there you are
What is it like in Texas?, I've heard of the k,k and I think utar
I bet I'm way off base but I was never that good at geography
Perhaps It's a different place?, I'm always thinking of a movie
Like that one with the actor Antonio bandaross, desperado
With that famous line, what is it they say?, odious omego
I've forgotten the desert and the beach, those beautiful sands
I'm sounding like a right flurt, but think your one who understands
l often think how you are, you never shut down, you just rebute
You keep going and, oh by the way I love your avatar, very cute
And what can I say I love your varied subject matter my friend
I think of you as one with true charater, who can comprehend
Reading your every poem lifts my spirits whenever I'm on a low
My face glowin, if it's only a few minites, I'm touched my omego!
Grarcess.........X
This poem inspierd by a lot of poets on the soup this one by linda
pd the destroyer ,THIS IS A TRIBUTE TO LINDA (PD) THANK YOU
xDavidScott And your metaphores inspierd me on my recent writes
Broken,thoughts and feelings, now and then, sights and sounds
endure, dasjavu, and of course rewrite love is rare
look forward to reding more
of your work X d,s
The weatherman predicted
That today would reach a high
Of eighty-five degrees; I never
Thought that he would lie.
I didn’t take a jacket and
My sockless feet are bare.
I’m shivering and I would bet
He doesn’t even care.
He’s sitting in a studio
But if he stepped outside,
He’d realize that his error
Simply cannot be denied.
It serves me right, I guess, because
I acted like a fool.
Preparedness, I learned in scouting,
Is the golden rule.
Tomorrow I’ll be sure to have
A jacket, just in case
The forecast once again turns out
Amazingly off base!
`There’s always that one
Who’s a wee bit different
The one who marches
to a different drum
There’s always that person
Who seems indifferent
Not to all things in common
but is always uncommon in some
There’s always that dear one
Who cares not a whit
If the game’s lost or won
Who seems just a bit off-base
There’s always that unique one
who seems stranded in a daze
Who oft’times seems to be gone
in their own place in space
There’s always that ‘special’ one
who’s ‘special’ as can be
And I know in that ‘special’ way
That, that someone special
...is me...
/center>
The Wonderful Grace
One is on a scheduled pace
While the other wanders off in space
Organized is one that’s faced
With all the clutter caused in haste
One that’s neat we’ll call her Grace
The other that’s not we’ll call the Ace
Grace is soft and much like lace
While Ace has Grace all in his face
Ace must deal with all his waste
While Grace has everything in its place
But Ace knows he can’t stay on pace
And Grace knows Ace is way off base
So Grace now deals with Aces case
By being patient, it’s not a race
And Ace now tries to keep his place
So he can cope with the wonderful Grace
Copyright 2014 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
POETIC LYRICS BY THOMAS LAM HSI ANDRESS
(Chinese, Vietnamese, French, German, Italian, Russian and Lithuanian...
'Three-DNA' Tests Show!)(Currently...Six Feet and Two Inches Tall...on my
way to Six Feet and Four Inches Tall & 250 lbs., AND, eight-and-one-half inches
'Down-Under' THICK TOO!)
Long legs make NO SENSE...when the MUSIC is OFF BASE!
And when the RAT RACE...doesn't see RIGHT or WRONG!
'Cuz the RAT RACE...is THE WRONG RACE...!
If the WHIRL and TWIRL...is OFF BASE...!
GET ON BASE!
ROLLING TO THE LEFT...AND ROLLING TO THE RIGHT!
GET ON BASE!
Unroll that parchment...to see A DIFFER-ENT FACE!
DAMN THAT RAT RACE...get onto FIRST BASE!
ROLLING TO THE LEFT...AND ROLLING TO THE RIGHT!
GET ON BASE!
WEREN'T you meant to be FIRST PLACE!
DAMN THE RAT RACE!
WHIRL AND TWIRL...or go OFF BASE!
ANOTHER RAT RACE...tounges and LIES!
'NOTHER...F'ing...RAT RACE!
GREAT-NESS AND DESTIN-Y...F-THAT-RAT-RACE!
GREAT-NESS AND DESTIN-Y...F-THAT-RAT-RACE!
ROLLING TO THE LEFT...AND ROLLING TO THE RIGHT!
GET ON BASE!
PITCHED-RIGHT...DOWN-AND-OUT...KNEE-TO-HEEL!
PETAL-TO-THE-METAL...DOWN-'N'-DIRTY-'N-HOT!
TOO-HOT-FOR-YOU...TO-HANDLE!
I'M-TOO-HOT...FOR-YOU-TO-HANDLE!
PITCHED-RIGHT...DOWN-AND-OUT...KNEE-TO-HEEL!
PETAL-TO-THE-METAL...DOWN-'N-DIRTY-'N-HOT!
TOO-HOT-FOR-YOU...TO-HANDLE!
I'M-TOO-HOT...FOR-YOU-TO-HANDLE!
It's My Flight...and Crystalean Visors...Bronze to Blue!
My Flight...and Crystalean Visors...Bronze to Blue!
PITCH IT RIGHT!
PITCH IT RIGHT!
why did we meet?
not yesterday,not tomorrow,but now?
now,in the very moment
we were about to settle our lives?
Were we so wrong
or way off base
for us to meet today?
to see that life can be
so wonderfull within...
deep in my soul
I've searched for you
Ive longed for you
and recognise
that I've lost faith in finding you.
I've alwas dreamed
the fairytale...
But had all kinds of colours... instead of white
my knight has never rode before
therefore I ain't looking anymore
afar for him to come...
And yet I feel you're ridding
I don't know your horses's colour
But I dream the fairytale
again... with roses!
And why did we meet?
You say to learn desire,
I say to keep on dreamin...
Trump Big Idiot
Trump big idiot rapidly is becoming,
And below 60 intelligence is summing;
Careless mental case,
Who is way off base;
Out of him at all expect exactly nothing.
James Thesarious Hilarious Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
The mirror’s the scariest place
For gazing at my aging face.
I realize that I’m
In the race against time
Fairly certain to lose in disgrace.
Clothes and make-up can help to erase
Certain wrinkles so I can embrace
How I look for a while
And by adding a smile
I can put forth a credible case.
Yet what tells me that I am off base
And persuades me to give up the chase
Is the camera my spouse
Likes to click, which can douse
All my confidence, leaving no trace.
How can they play a fair game ;
when there is no shame.
Bitterness, jealousy,and envy rules,
in many of those Ivy Leagues schools.
May you come to use your own head,
and not follow those off-base rules,
of the crowd of wiley, worldly fools.
Monkey see,and monkey do,
learn the whole picture...
and seek the whole view!
Copyright McCuen 2009