Best Naughtiest Poems

As one who grew up in a different era,
Pre-Brangeline and Californication -
When shows like Laugh-in or the Dating Game,
Bewitched or Dick Van Dyke were just about
The naughtiest you’d find on your TV -
I'm now chillaxin' with some shows much better!
Despite the violence and the sexploitation,
There’s...

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IS IT HOT IN HERE?
I`m a physical, mental wreck, waiting for a beard
I have no sense of time, I`m definitely weird.
I`m peri-menopausal, go from blazing hot to cold,
I have wrinkles, bags, am fat, and very very old.
I sometimes find my my car keys in obscure...

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We lived in our ancestral bungalow
                            Three generations veneered each other
       ...

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I was in hurry
did not drop coin in bowl
And beggar judged
I was pauper..............

I was rehearsing 
in make-up for beggars dialogue
And  dropping coin passer by judged
I was beggar........................

I was wiping my tears
hearing good news of moms recovery
And relative judged
I lost my mom.................

I was laughing alone...

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The F-Bomb has been replaced

As the naughtiest word in the english language

By this new extremely naughty four letter word

Yup! You guessed it... SNOW!!!

The notorious S-Bomb!

Parents shudder when their wee one utters it in public

Oh the shame of it all

The parents try so hard to bring...

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Brady was the naughtiest puppy in the whole city.
     At night such a baby, during the day sassy and witty.
He had eight siblings and must have been defiant.
Oh no! My naughty boy was never going to be compliant. 
  ...

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Hopeful





            Whispers in the corridor heard louder and closer,
                 as security man asks relatives to leave,
  ...

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So innocent was the little kitty,
Who came to my door that I took pity
On this helpless little thrown away.
I vowed he would see a better day.

Boxes of litter and bags of feed,
A covered box for this cat in need.
Then it’s off to the vet to...

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Now this one is really and totally absurd
A naughty limerick, naughtiest ever heard
But yours truly's got more
Some limericks hardcore
Where me and my friends are naked old jaybirds...

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The F-Bomb has all but been replaced
As the naughtiest word in the english language
By this new extremely naughty four letter word
Yup! You guessed it... SNOW!!!
The notorious S-Bomb!
Parents shudder when their wee one utters it in public
Oh the shame of it all
The parents try so hard...

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I just want the simple life from when I was young
I miss my innocence and ignorance, I miss having fun
Piggyback rides through the park, being pushed in buggies at the grocery store
I miss holding that guiding hand as I cross the street and intimate discussions...

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Have you heard of a duck that really can't cluck
Bet you're thinking a bad word that rhymes with duck
More sophisticated am I
An upstanding sweet guy
Now stop... my naughtiest phrase is “oh, shucks!”...

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Chainsaw Poetry
David J Walker

The  blum blum 
Purrr
Blum blum
Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ignition of the 
Whirrrrrrrrrrrr into 
Action
The attraction of 
A curio crowd
Loud 
with big gulp glops of dripping
snow cones drops melting on the summer
mountain of a westbound sun
they have all come 
	to see me cut 
Poems out of...

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Now this here Humorick is totally absurd
A naughty Humorick, naughtiest ever heard
But yours truly's got more
Some Humoricks hardcore
Where me and my friends are naked as jaybirds...

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