Best Machete Poems
you and i were the 'good kids'
only spoke when spoken to
never picked a fight
didn't color outside the lines
later we learned that they
were sifting through all our art
ascertaining who lay on the
extremities of the bell curve
who might have a troubled home life
and/or
who might have an aptitude for fine art
... we were somewhere in the middle
fast forward thirty years or so...
we discovered a magic quill
that served as a machete
clearing out the underbrush
of this dense jungle we call
life
we learned to think outside
the quadrilateral parallelogram
and found the outer rim
of that bell curve
we no longer raised our hands
waiting to be called on
we delved deep and found
a singular
phenomenon
inside us -
our voice
While wielding a machete in my kitchen—
I had some foods to slice: tomatoes, cheese,
baked ham, boiled eggs, grapes, lettuce--I was planning
a scrumptious smorgasbord, one sure to please.
But then I saw the warning on the handle:
“Machetes are not meant for kitchen use!”
I had to face the facts. To use a weapon,
one needs a truly excellent excuse.
October 17, 2016
I guard my heart like a prison
and behind the prison bars
is a machete,
if the machete doesn't kill you
than maybe both you and me
are ready.
maps are cool in explored territory
and non-existent
in the unknown
so let's go
I love my wife with claws so sharp
Tentacles sure to squeeze me tight
The fangs that sink into my heart
Consuming blood for pleasure
Keeping me alive vampire like for money
One eye positioned at the center of her head
Another one in back behind the hair
For good measure to watch me coming
And going from the past with attention to detail
A glare, like a lighthouse blinking out hope
A beacon from my giant uni-brow wife
Guiding me on to the right side of the rocks
Where crashes are inevitable up ahead
Nearer to heaven than one might expect
I know what is good but she knows better
It is best to keep ones mouth shut in front of honey
My one hump hunchback. Why not make it three
Through troubled waters she is still my wifie pooh
According to her decree and she is always creepy
Watching me from the back
Parting her hair in the middle just a little
Which is no small matter but a little scary
I don't really know her name but that's ok
She stands ten feet tall or better
Carries a machete in her iron clad hands
She is my two eyed wife with one in the front
And the other out back which is fine
So long as they both don't stare at the same time
Sometimes I'm afraid
I'm a man and men don't understand
It is better to do as she says because she is enormous
I love her because she is there
And she never misses with a knife
She is the misses and I am always in her sights