I Love My Wife

I love my wife with claws so sharp Tentacles sure to squeeze me tight The fangs that sink into my heart Consuming blood for pleasure Keeping me alive vampire like for money One eye positioned at the center of her head Another one in back behind the hair For good measure to watch me coming And going from the past with attention to detail A glare, like a lighthouse blinking out hope A beacon from my giant uni-brow wife Guiding me on to the right side of the rocks Where crashes are inevitable up ahead Nearer to heaven than one might expect I know what is good but she knows better It is best to keep ones mouth shut in front of honey My one hump hunchback. Why not make it three Through troubled waters she is still my wifie pooh According to her decree and she is always creepy Watching me from the back Parting her hair in the middle just a little Which is no small matter but a little scary I don't really know her name but that's ok She stands ten feet tall or better Carries a machete in her iron clad hands She is my two eyed wife with one in the front And the other out back which is fine So long as they both don't stare at the same time Sometimes I'm afraid I'm a man and men don't understand It is better to do as she says because she is enormous I love her because she is there And she never misses with a knife She is the misses and I am always in her sights