Best Lubricant Poems

For Andrea’s contest 
Show me the Funny (part two)

Eskimo Nell & the Door Repair Man

Now Eskimo Nell 
Has a story to tell
A tale, about my last visit
Into her igloo
I went through and through
Though this entrance I’m told is illicit

She said, “Just for you
That one will...

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Hick Phonics - is a language to be taught in all Southern schools.
Here are some excerpts from the Hick Phonics/English Dictionary.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heidi - Noun - A Greeting
Hire Yew - Complete Sentence - Remainder of greeting.
Usage: "Heidi! Hire yew?"

Bard - Verb - Past tense of the infinitive...

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I embrace the nocturnal shade 
coiled beneath tangerine lamplight 
on the corner of the street 
in case a certain little lady walks by. 
I am ever watchful 
in the telephone kiosk bathed in smells of damp 
directories, of urine and pubescent vandalism; 
silhouetted at the...

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lies
big or 
little
they’re  still wrong,   
denying     
breath of  guilt thrives  
burning slowly    
 
social lubricant  
enhance personal     
misleading  gain.  
ripples in streams
flow outward
in the end
big or
meager,
lies!

7/27/2016
1-2-2-3-3-4-4-5-5-4-4-3-3-2-2-1...

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After one beer, I noticed her
When first she did arrive
After two beers, I finally could
Look her in the eye
After three beers, I walked over there
Still feeling a bit too lame
After four beers, I finally
Got the nerve to ask her name
After five beers, I asked her...

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(note: The site restrictions don't allow long epic poems, so I have split this into 6 segments, each should run straight on from the previous one.)

THE EYE OF THE SEA

Or
The Rime of the Ancient Kubla Kahn on the Road to Mandalay

There washed ashore a devil’s...

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1. Not thrown out of the show business
every year’s good and never less
my age placed in his mind’s steerage
I’m down to prove he won’t manage
it is no different loving him
I'm older but with the same vim.

Chorus
A freebooter visits his youth
but my hands put him under...

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gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
   re: byte size buttock 
attached via usb (uniform firm behind) to this freak
   with bowel movement incontinence + gas filled gut
evoking contortionist frown stretching to lowest peak
 perched upon porcelain goddess where elimination...

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On bed I lay, just staring at the ceiling 
And watching the fan rotate damply 
Like the propeller of a wounded plane.
Bedridden for three days by fever.
The rotation of the fan makes my head 
Goes round and round with eyes
Popping out like the nose of...

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Alcohol
Social lubricant?
Laughing, falling, fighting.
Three sheets to the wind!
Drunk...

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Scarcely the Dropper-- a roach antennae Felt,

Some Maudling exterminator of nakedly inhuman hands.

Boiled renunciation falling sick With life itself,

For Libido has and Always Will Be…. the most Impersonal of instrument.

Stepping out and through a purple sunset laying Slow across a grape country.

The inflexibly dead palms...

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gluteus maximus left and right half moon cheek
   re: byte size buttock 
attached via usb (uniform firm behind) to this freak
   with bowel movement incontinence + gas filled gut
evoking contortionist frown stretching to lowest peak
 perched upon porcelain goddess where elimination...

Continue reading...

The Lord is my driver
I will not crash.
He buckles me the front seat of my road car.
He drives me on back roads,
He maintains my vehicle. 
He leads me on the direct routes
For time saving sake.
Even though I ride on the narrow back alleys,
I will feel...

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Time and again he flashes those images before me;
The sin that so easily besets me
You should think that by now I get the picture
That I now understand his whims
That I can say “get behind me, that story is old”
But how I get to fall for...

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I. a dark awakening

Shuddering awake feeling the freezing cold fingers still around my throat, struggling to catch my breath struggling to focus.

Finding my air. Shaking myself awake, shaking fragments of dreams from my mind, imagery falls fading elusive as dreams can be.

Images of sunny days,...

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