Breaking Loose

Time and again he flashes those images before me; The sin that so easily besets me You should think that by now I get the picture That I now understand his whims That I can say “get behind me, that story is old” But how I get to fall for a familiar trick, To be ensnared into a trap I came out of just yesterday To be deceived by a lie I have heard so many times That’s my dilemma And for every time I fall, I run back to my Father in tears I resolve never to go back to Egypt Making frantic promises like “God take my life if I do this again” The irony, how many times I would have been dead by now Tomorrow he comes again enticing The thought of drugs, the booze, them girls in tight skirts It is all I can do to keep from falling So I say no… as weak as it sounds He knows I am about giving in He goes for the kill Is your father a merciful king? I say yes Will he forgive you after this? And there ends my resolve Once again he smiles because today like every other day I have been defeated. Or those other nights alone in my room My headphones plugged in My eyes glued to my screen Fingers groping in the dark For any available lubricant All this while a war rages inside You know this is wrong Come on just this once You can actually stop this Yeah I promise this is the last time Get a hold of yourself Suspended animation STOP!!! Eventually I stop But only when I am done satisfying my debased lust With my own hands The regret, the guilt, the emptiness I need a way out of this mess The truth of the matter is I am strung up I am tied down I am in chains Whichever vocab you choose It all boils down to the fact that I am addicted I am a slave to my own flesh This thing that started off as a pleasure has become my undoing O! Wretched man that I am Who will deliver me from this body of sin? Then I hear Him whisper Grace… Grace… Grace… Grace That His grace is there to keep me from falling That His strength is made manifest in my weakness That I am in Christ A new creation, all things Including this habit, Passed away I am brand new, That when He said it is finished He was talking about me That I should know the truth That whosoever the son of man sets free Is free indeed That the power of God in me is at work unto salvation It is bringing everything; Including my flesh under obedience For He has said that sin shall no longer have dominion over me Now I know this truth I break the yoke from off my neck I am made free