Hick Phonics

Hick Phonics - is a language to be taught in all Southern schools. Here are some excerpts from the Hick Phonics/English Dictionary. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heidi - Noun - A Greeting Hire Yew - Complete Sentence - Remainder of greeting. Usage: "Heidi! Hire yew?" Bard - Verb - Past tense of the infinitive "To Borrow" Usage: "My brother bard my pick up truck." Munts - Noun - A calendar division. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pick up truck and I ain't seen him in munts." Jawjah - Noun - A state just north of Florida. Capital is Hatlanta. Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pick up truck. Ignernt - Adjective - Not smart. See Arkansas Native. Usage: "Them two boys sure are ignernt." Ranch - Noun - A tool used for tightening bolts. Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pick up truck my brother from Jawjah bard a few munts ago." All - Noun - A petroleum based lubricant. Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjah puts all in my pick up." Far - Noun - A conflagration. Usage: "If my brother from Jawjah don't change the all in my pick up that thang's gonna ketch far." Bahs - Noun - A supervisor Usage: "If you don't stop readin' these Southern words your bahs is gonna far you." Tar - Noun - A rubber wheel. Usage: "Gee I hope that brother of mine from Jawjah don't git a flat tar in my pick up." Tire - Noun - A tall monument. Usage: "Lord willin' and the creek don't rise I hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris someday." Retard - Verb - To stop working. Usage: "My Grampaw retard at 65." Tarred - Adverb - Exhausted. Usage: "I jest flew in from Hatlanta and boy my arms are tarred."