Best Liposuction Poems

Now, I am not a huge man

I'm not large by any means

In fact it is surprising

I still wear normal jeans

My pants don't have elastics

I still use normal towels

But, my BMI stats tell me

I'm a word that has three vowels.

It started just this morning

When I got...

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For turning my eyes into shallow Pacific blues,
because nobody likes Chocolate. 

For transforming the freckled clusterbomb on my face,
into baby skin smoothness!

Because freckles are humanity’s alleged worst enemy
and I refuse to allow my self-confidence to stay Pro-Activ.

Thank you, Photoshop
for giving me that liposuction I ALWAYS...

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She was an aspiring starlet, a real cutie patootie 
Folks were in awe of her natural beauty

She wanted to be a great Hollywood star
But she’s taken the surgery much too far

Her teeth have been fixed for a dazzling smile
They are unnaturally white now they stand...

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What has happened to women and girls of today
Once natural and organic
The plastic surgeons and cosmetic companies
And Beauty magazines have blown all that away.

False hair lashes and brows
Face lifts botox Bigger lips 
Liposuction off the hips 
Nose jobs boob jobs
False nails on your finger tips
On...

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They want to be skin and bones with plastic wasters, 
They want to be stupid, they want to be famous, 
Fake, superficial and contagious, 
"She don't want your love, 
She wants your money, boy." 

Modern royalty want cash in hand, 
Ritalin,vicodin, and diazepam, 
Valium,lithium, any...

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You think you could be me



With your bleach blonde hair



Your crimson lips



Your hooded stare



You think you could be me



I could be you



We could be thee



Maybe all three



Wearing your twiggy clothes



With an upturned nose



With a sexy glare



A high heeled dare



You think you could be me



Wear my...

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Hourglass figures are for models and others who may be vain.
Dieting, Exercising, and Depriving myself of sweets would cause me too much pain.
Liposuction, Tummy Tucks - they need that Botox shot.
To find their Mr. Right - they have to look red hot.

Some men today are...

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When I seen her, I knew I had to make her mine
She comes a family with a knack for design
She is put together so very well
She has been mine for 15 years, no one can tell
I know this story must sound melancholy
But please if would...

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If, as hippy folklore claims, it never rains in California,
Then the watermark is never washed out of the phoney cheque,
And when you’re dead and gone there’ll be no one here to mourn ya
For it was only God above urinating down your neck.
Carbon monoxide inhalation, it’s...

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Mister Miss

Mr. Miss is a man indeed.
He can't catch a cold let alone cold feet.
He lives in a house with his mother and sister.
Mom is named Louise Mister and his little sister is Missy miss Mister.
It just so happens to be a mixed family of...

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Tears fall from a round cherub face
Who feels her life is a big disgrace
Who feels she is just a charity case
Who takes up way too much space
Who knocked over the hand painted vase
From Italy
Because she thought she was too obese
An ugly savage beast
And wanted her...

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Before I left the house
I had a chat with my mirror
To get feedback on my blouse
And guess what?

So loyal of the mirror 
It revealed answers I hadn't put questions for

Rubbed in my face was the cold truth
        ...

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Goodbye six pack hello* poetry scribes

My poetic side COSMOFUNNEL
wordsmith thanks tumblr in his noggin
ofttimes triggering babbling brook 
to swell after deluge
becoming stream of consciousness runnel
carving, gouging, and liquidating topography 
qua zee mow toe natural formed tunnel.

Digitally remastered and revised
since original version rejected, thus
writer released, ...

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More Than... Ever

My Angel I Love You more than ever
More than words and phrases that are clever
I Love You more than our amazing always
More than our amazing nights and days
I Love You more than an anniversary card or gift
More than a liposuction, tummy tuck, or...

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I imagine relief while feeling comfortably numb...
anesthetized courtesy central air 

analogous to gulping down
a tall glass of ice cold water, 
which equals ultimate thirst quencher,
especially for those 
experiencing onset dehydration,
the following poetic opinion/editorial  
shared by yours truly, a former consumer
who quaffed truckloads sugary and...

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