Best Laundry Poems
(She's Got Cooties)
Bitter every night, she speaks of another man
In dialogues, she rips and shreds my brothers sheets
Her moves are naught more than an exposed wound
Riding dreams with no thought to spare
With eyes, that lie every night,
Even, I believe every word from her prune lips
Silent she auctions words into the breeze
My brother's heart is so brittle, it hurts
She is lying, he's dying, a fool just to feel complete
At this point he believes, she was kidnapped by apes
She's not the kind of wife that sit on a trophy case
Once she removes the makeup, her face is gone
She is gone, gone, gone,
A smile mocking infidelity,
I scream, I want to beat her brains in
My brother begs her to rest, he prays
His wife will wash her dirty mouth
A kiss that hurts as she takes the air away,
Pouring guilt, pretending it's his fault
After every sucker punch this past month
She left while he slept
A wicked in law, with no comparison
Breathing luscious sperm, she's a worm
Vacuuming another man's dream,
She is gone, gone, gone,
A weak link, wasting his time loving her
His heart murdered 19 years ago
My brother holds on to plain dumb hope
In hopes, she might stay longer than 3 days
His dreams are sweet, innocent and failed,
Yet he won't stop dreaming of her loving lips
Heating up to nothing when she's not there
She is gone, gone, gone,
Sometimes I just sit and wonder
What sort of man, sits awake with his eyes shut
Daydreaming of a long life dream
Then I realize if he can dream
Why Can't I
~Trashed #2, sponsor, Broken Wings~
9-22-15
Skat
Categories:
laundry, abuse, betrayal, devotion, heartbreak,
Form:
Epic
Oh laundry, how relentless you are in this house,
It’s as if I were a polygamist’s spouse.
By: Sabina Nicole
Categories:
laundry, funny, life,
Form:
Couplet
Once a week we do the wash;
It’s part of our routine.
With just the two of us at home,
There’s not that much to clean.
Apartment living means, for one,
Machines are there to share.
The basement has the laundry room;
We do the washes there.
My husband loads the washers
After I have bagged the clothes,
Then switches them to dryers,
Which is how cycle goes.
We both head down, when time has passed,
To fold and stack the load.
He piles his items, I do mine
And by a silent code…
We split the sheets and towels
And whatever else we share
Until the dryer’s empty
And the folding table’s bare.
We schlep the basket back upstairs
And put the wash away
Until next week, when once again
It will be laundry day.
Categories:
laundry, home,
Form:
Rhyme
You see it a lot now a days, being aired everywhere you look
In many forms and many ways even you and I are in the book
As the news anchors spin their story or even just friend to friend
Jesus said in all of His Glory be careful of the message you send
Do not slander your foe nor wish him evil upon his daily way
For it isn't yours to know only your duty and obligation to pray
Cut not one at the knees or even enter into the gossip mill room
Infectious like disease most of those people are headed for doom
Like a murderer and or a thief, gossipers too are high on the list
They simply add to another's grief the sin being in how they twist
They prolong another's plight in wanting to know every little detail
Never choosing to do right as each reputation they seem to impale
Of others never speak a negative word, but act as if they were there
Put aside everything you heard and then do something that is rare
Acting as if that person were you, as one day this may be the case
Still not sure what to do... Remember the Day Jesus took your place
“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart
bringeth forth that which is good...”
Luke 6:45
Categories:
laundry, betrayal, courage, culture,
Form:
Rhyme
I’ve come to believe that dirty laundry
is alive.
Just when you’re down to one batch, you turn
around and there are five.
And I also believe that laundry runs around
at night by itself.
“Cause “no one” gets it dirty, or takes it down
from the shelf.
“I don’t know where it all came from” is
what I always hear.
All those towels have a mind of their own, is
now what I fear.
There’s four kids, three adults and seven days in
the week.
How that can turn into twenty batches,..to this
question, the answer I seek.
If I’d just invested in Proctor and Gamble when
they first went on the market,
Today I’d have a Rolls Royce, along with a
driver to park it.
Categories:
laundry, family, funny, life,
Form:
I'm a mind raper
I'm a fine rapper
You'd better stay out of my way
Cause my nine's always strapped
Even on laundry day
Got my glock tucked in my sweatpants
Quarter cup of Tide® Enhance™
Roll up to the laundromat
You want yo titties autographed?
Categories:
laundry, allah,
Form:
Italian Sonnet
I'm not wearing underwear
I can’t afford to clean my clothes
I shower every day
and sensitive skin from soap and psoriasis makes me itch
But I have bills to pay
I know you understand
Raising my little half brother and half sister
I've only met once
who are an ocean away
But this isn’t my story, it's yours
and the memories that remain
I know we've talked about it
Your pain and mine
About dad an alcoholic, and the abuse
and how you’re still attracted to it
But I still remember soo many nights
And soo many strange days
You dragged by your hair
I'll never forget
You thrown through the door
is embedded in my head
You with black eyes
you fell out of bed
The screaming
The fights
I remember everything said
My name
My brother’s name
Psychological abuse for you
soo long ago mom
You left and I don’t blame you
Years of you being cheated on
And dad would introduce us to his girlfriends
Easter holidays treasure hunt
While your husband was out betraying everyone
I know you know
That he talks poorly about you
And acts like the better man
But mom I remember
and you need to understand
What you went through
And the nights when I heard the door slam close
because you were fighting
and he told you to leave
That was how I met god in a sense
and always prayed for you to come back
Then finally I prayed for you sanity safety and for you to leave
And I would cry
as quietly as I could
cry myself to sleep
and chances are
dad either fell asleep
or went out in his drunken stupor
to cheat on you again
The divorce is over
It’s been over for years
But yet its still messy and I bite my tongue and remember
The night you came into my room
And told me you had to leave
I remember taking beer to kindergarten
Hiding it from you and dad
To throw it away
And my teacher in grade three finally asked
No lie mom
I had the same teacher in kindergarten and grade three
I could write an entire poem
about all of the people who shaped my mind
But I need you to see
When I come visit and am called an incest family man by your boyfriend
for giving you a hug
You’ve fallen into the same trap
And it’s like my own mother I’m not allowed to love
Categories:
laundry, family, forgiveness, life, sympathy,
Form:
Free verse
Washing spinning suds
Watching. Thinking on spring things
Carnations in strict
Formation and blue roses
Poses on balconies.
With BLINDING beauty
All are blooming and smell of
Fruity confessions
With their beauty fragrant
Fruity concessions they are
Doing their duty making
Life a lovelier WORLD
Categories:
laundry, blue, color, rose,
Form:
Lyric
He glances through the curtains as she leaves.
And he knew she was going with him instead.
Desperately he washes his soul of her but its for naught.
And he hangs each feeling on the line and the cool breeze.
She walks to the corner and gets into his car and flips her hair.
He always loved the way she flipped her hair and the body after a drink.
Her body would glisten with the sweat of his thrust and the bite on his shoulder.
The car pulls away and he watches the lights drive off with his heart and the bite.
The laundry machine moves like her and shudders and vibrates.
But she will return with food from the Chinaman.
Chinese food was how he knew.
She never ate Chinese food except afterwards.
The clothes lay fluttering in the night air as his heart dried.
And she came home with egg rolls and the feint smell of polo.
Categories:
laundry, loss, heart, body, car,
Form:
Narrative
People will always pry or judge the life that you’re living
To be nosy or gossip that’s their religion
It is the betrayal in enemies
Gossip has destroyed so many families
Always talking behind your back when you’re not around
Instead of lifting you up they’re always putting you down
I’m not into celebrity schemes & scandals
I don’t care who is misbehaving, or which couple is breaking up, and why are they being manhandled
Please no baby mama drama
Keep me out of a feud about people being sued
From on ear to the next twisting everything that they hear
Telling lies and rumors like it is their career
I don’t have time for all this ridiculous nonsense
Just attention seekers looking for an audience
Whether it’s hidden in your closet or family
Everyone has dirty laundry
Categories:
laundry, betrayal, trust, truth,
Form:
Rhyme
I'd just done some washing
I'd hung it on the line
The sun it shone delightfully
I thought "this weather will stay fine"
Then I heard the weather forecast
Gee blimey it said rain
So to myself I did say
Must bring it in again
The sky turned dark and cloudy
As the wind began to howl
I was glad I brought that washing in
As it turned into a gale
Categories:
laundry, howl, rain, storm, sunshine,
Form:
Rhyme
Along with the stench
From the Vietnam swamp
Lingers many other stains
Far beyond mud and muck
I’ve washed and scrubbed
‘Til my fingers bled raw
Trying to remove the souvenirs
From my uniform cloth.
Splats of blood, of a friend,
Buried without a face,
And the revenge on the shooter,
In the very same place.
The stain, there on the arm,
Is from the night when I slept,
In a dug out, trench,
Where dead bodies were kept
There’s a cigarette burn
On the chest, over there
Self inflicted pain,
Meant to melt away care
Deeper into hell
Evert step that I took
Mayhem and murder
In all directions, it lurked
A letter arrived
They said I could go home.
So, my buddy and I
To the train station flown
1 week later, in Kentucky
We planted our feet
To be spat on by strangers
We passed on the street
The dirty laundry we wore
Was not held with respect,
We came home from one War
And, intercepted the next
Politicians on the news
Say, that was not a “war.”
Just a conflict, they say
So, what did our men die for?
I’ve woke up in panic,
Cold sweats, and crazed
I’ve wide opened fire
Through my home, without phase
If that don’t define war,
Then what’s this that I feel,
Are you trying to tell me,
What I saw wasn’t real?
Still yet today, I am pestered
By images, time to time
When I open that drawer
With dirty laundry inside.
04/19/2011
All rights reserved ©
Miranda Lambert
In dedication to my Pawpaw; Frank Dials, Vietnam Veteran
Served from 1964-1970.
He always has a hard time telling this story, but tells it bravely.
RESPECT THE VETS!!!!
Categories:
laundry, dedication, family, history, recovery
Form:
Rhyme
I hide
In my splintered wicker laundry hamper
Under last weeks soiled cloths
Sheltered within a warm wooden box
At first the cloths smelled of me
And later I of them
And soon hereafter
We of we
I lay there
Still and cold
In the soiled
Hopelessly Awaiting For Laundry Day
Categories:
laundry, allegory, angst, dark, funny,
Form:
Blank verse
She loops the carefully folded laundry
in the crook of her arm the way you would lift
a cat peacefully sleeping on a bed.
The need for neatness nestled in her like
noblesse oblige. Do cats dream? Do
dogs? The precious lion cub curled
in the warm fur of its mother's body. Well,
Yes... as in twitching, tail wagging, yowling;
reliving their day's experiences as
if once was not enough. 'Gamma activity,'
the brain behaving just as it did while wakeful.
Brainy, zany, grainy, waking the cat
from its blanketed bed, its nesting Nirvana.
Categories:
laundry, cat, dream, fantasy,
Form:
Idyll (Idyl)
When doing laundry in a room
That’s shared by many others,
You can’t pretend no rules apply,
Like if you had your druthers.
You have to note the starting time
And when the cycle ends,
‘Cause someone else upon
Your punctuality depends.
It’s understood by all that if
Your washer or your dryer
Comes to a halt and you’re not there,
Then here’s what will transpire:
A person waiting takes a cart
And fills it with your washing,
Just shoving it this way and that
By flattening or squashing.
The slacker gets what he deserves
And has no cause for kvetching,
For he should know what time his clothes
Are done and up for fetching.
We all goof up from time to time
But here is my advice –
If you ignore communal rules,
Expect to pay the price.
Categories:
laundry, people, time,
Form:
Rhyme