Sorry For the Dirty Laundry Mom

I'm not wearing underwear I can’t afford to clean my clothes I shower every day and sensitive skin from soap and psoriasis makes me itch But I have bills to pay I know you understand Raising my little half brother and half sister I've only met once who are an ocean away But this isn’t my story, it's yours and the memories that remain I know we've talked about it Your pain and mine About dad an alcoholic, and the abuse and how you’re still attracted to it But I still remember soo many nights And soo many strange days You dragged by your hair I'll never forget You thrown through the door is embedded in my head You with black eyes you fell out of bed The screaming The fights I remember everything said My name My brother’s name Psychological abuse for you soo long ago mom You left and I don’t blame you Years of you being cheated on And dad would introduce us to his girlfriends Easter holidays treasure hunt While your husband was out betraying everyone I know you know That he talks poorly about you And acts like the better man But mom I remember and you need to understand What you went through And the nights when I heard the door slam close because you were fighting and he told you to leave That was how I met god in a sense and always prayed for you to come back Then finally I prayed for you sanity safety and for you to leave And I would cry as quietly as I could cry myself to sleep and chances are dad either fell asleep or went out in his drunken stupor to cheat on you again The divorce is over It’s been over for years But yet its still messy and I bite my tongue and remember The night you came into my room And told me you had to leave I remember taking beer to kindergarten Hiding it from you and dad To throw it away And my teacher in grade three finally asked No lie mom I had the same teacher in kindergarten and grade three I could write an entire poem about all of the people who shaped my mind But I need you to see When I come visit and am called an incest family man by your boyfriend for giving you a hug You’ve fallen into the same trap And it’s like my own mother I’m not allowed to love