Best Kilt Poems
A Scotsman bought a kilt to swing.
So he could do The Highland Fling.
He grabbed my hand and pulled me out.
Then everyone began to shout.
Watch out Jean, it has been seen.
A gust of wind revealed the thing.
What could it be that Scotsman's got
'neath his skirt that caused such shock?
Calm down all, it's just a leg.
He was born that way, with an extra peg.
Categories:
kilt, confusion, dance, dedication,
Form:
Couplet
Aussie stood in his chaff bag kilt,
bandy knees, didna give it, it's tilt,
the steam was arising too,
just come from woolloloo,
shiela said "man, Gawd but he's built."
thanks Dave Williams....
Nette,
if ya got it flaunt it,
some shiela said that's torn, wit,
Aussie kilts are yet denied,
though we have the Scottish pride,
just a promise it will fit:)
Don Johnson
Categories:
kilt, adventure,
Form:
Limerick
The Captain's new wife was "true blue"
Whilst he stayed The Wives Club main screw
But rather than pout
When the Captain was out
She serviced his troops two by two
Categories:
kilt, funny, lust, relationship, rude,
Form:
Limerick
there once was a man from Kingsbury
who put on his kilt in a hurry
in a bit of a flap
he forgot his jockstrap
a chill wind put him in a flurry
Categories:
kilt, fun, funny, humorous, silly,
Form:
Limerick
It's time to relate a story
About a wee man and his kilt,
How he obtained this garment
Made out of tartan quilt...
He was born in a leprechaun village.
He grew much taller than the rest.
His leprechaun IQ was a dram too short
But his highland fling was the best!
None of his peers could fathom it out.
Why was he so different to them?
So he queried his parents about their descent
And all began to make sense then.
His father was ginger and Irish.
His mother was Scottish and tanned.
They tossed a caber to make their choice
And it fell to a move to Ireland.
And so the wee man could now understand
Why his colours were orange and green.
The kilt that he wore, which he much adored
Blended well with his rural scene.
His kilt was designed and handmade
By his auntie, a well skilled seamstress.
Tartan is the pattern she tailors most to
For blazers, kilts, trousers and dress.
This wee man has had lots of fun.
On occasion some foodstuffs were spilt
(Baked beans, soup, cocoa and milk)
Down the front of his special kilt.
When his parents were gone, he carried them on.
Where would he live in their memory?
He couldn't choose between the two
So moved to Wales and close to the sea.
Categories:
kilt, character,
Form:
Rhyme
Bagpipes conveying the delight
Of a country filled with insight
Swinging their kilts in accord
With their song of joy, so adored
They color the world in green
Appreciating the good queen
Awakening a world to glean
~
Gaelic poetry and prose will sigh
Through the echoes of a blue sky
That reminisce with kilts so bright
Laughter harmonizing despite
The blessed stanzas and rhymes
Poems alive with a joyful times
That focuses on more than crimes
~
The Scotsman has reported the fact
That we shouldn’t ever overreact
We should keep remembering the past
History and the mystery so steadfast
Lives that knew blessings to the hilts
And hearts that liked wearing kilts
Certainly never feeling swell of guilts
Scotland One Rule Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Julia Ward
March 2, 2021
Categories:
kilt, appreciation, blessing, community, history,
Form:
Rhyme
Dan, Dan, was a popular man
had a plaid for his homeland clan
his kilt it slipped
cold breeze it nipped
less popular now than he began
Categories:
kilt, funny, humor, humorous, wind,
Form:
Limerick
we had used a kilt
pattern to design a quilt
which was soft as silt
Categories:
kilt, allegory, analogy,
Form:
Haiku
My uncle wears a dress
I heard my uncle talking
About his favourite dress,
And how he needs a new one
As its old and in a mess.
He says it`s frayed and tattered
And the pleats are wearing flat,
So he will need to get a new one
That goes right with his hat.
He also wears a frilly blouse
With ruffles on his sleeve,
And a great big shinny belt buckle
That makes it hard to breath.
He wears his purse around his waist
And his socks up to his knees,
They are wrapped in long black ribbons
With legs as thick as trees.
He says he needs a nice Red hat
But I’m sure it’s just a ruse,
And some new bright brass buttons
And a pair of shinny shoes.
The buttons are for his own coat
As he says it still fits snug,
And a shawl for over his shoulder
The same size as our rug.
He has a flower in his coat
And a feather in his hat,
And his great big hairy moustache
Looks like a ginger cat.
I`m worried for my uncle
If he`s wearing women’s clothes,
They just won’t suit his hairy legs
His big red beard and nose.
I’ve had to let my parents know
But dad laughs and thinks it`s a hoot,
I think we should buy him men’s shoes
And maybe a nice new suit.
Then when I saw him in his new clothes
I was sure he would look a mess
Till I saw my hairy uncle,
In his brand new highland dress.
THE END
Categories:
kilt, cheer up, childhood, fashion,
Form:
Rhyme
A girl on the Tube stared at my crouch
Her mum sat there and tried not to watch
Then mum's face turned red
As she softly said,
"She thinks that is where I get my Scotch"
Categories:
kilt, humor,
Form:
Limerick
The noble house rom the Scottish Lowlands
with the green, white, and blue bands.
The green for the salamander
resting on a bed of amber.
Although, factually, our monuments are ruins,
The kilt has a hint of blue in.
Having an appearance in the 12th century,
The history and descendants will never lose energy
Never behind as it appears on the crest
still stands today as it is above the rest.
Having no chief does not scare them,
for William Douglass was their original gem.
The nobleness of the first earl
Caused him to have a little girl
And those his children were considered "illegitimate",
They would have never allowed the clan to ascent.
Categories:
kilt, 11th grade, family, history,
Form:
Rhyme
The great kilt.
“Och aye the noo”
TraIs the cat deid? –
Has the cat died? your trousers are a bit short
– like a flag flying at half mast
Liken my great grandfather did why don’t you put on a kilt
Oh yes, right now
My 16th century
Originating in the traditional
Scots bearing dress of men and boys
In the Scottish Highlands
Is a skirt-type garment with pleats at the rear?
Since the 19th century,
The kilt has become
Associated with the wider
Scottish and Gaelic cultures
A symbol of national pride and tradition
Those cultural heroes of the highlander
Yes! Even some made its way into our military units
And eventually a suited attire symbol of formality
The great kilt.
The first mention of kilts is in 1538
They were worn as full-length garments
Those Gaelic-speaking Scots Highlander men
Were the first to wear them?
The knee-length kilt that we see today
Didn't come around until the early 18th century
Those belted plaid or great kilt
Such a full-length garment
The great kilt
Whose upper half could be worn as a cloak?
Draped over the shoulder, yes even worn by soldiers
Being brought up over the head as a hood
Revealing in a distance a cloak of disability
Comes from the Scots word kilt meaning
Old Norse people donned them kjalta
Meaning lap, fold of a gathered skirt
Also a combat dress
This great kilt
Nonetheless, individual exceptions continued, and it is believed
The kilt was last widely worn in action at the Evacuation of Dunkirk
In May 1940 on D-Day, June 1944, Lord Lovat,
Commander of 1 Special Service Brigade,
This Great Kilt
Was accompanied by his personal pipers who wore a kilt
Played the bagpipes – while German bullets whizzed around him
This tradition has been continued
Within the Pipe Bands of the Republic of Ireland's Defense Forces
The Great Kilt, One of The Themes of Scotland
3/20/21-©2021
For Contest Theme of Scotland
Sponsored by: Julia Ward
Categories:
kilt, adventure, analogy, clothes, history,
Form:
Dramatic Monologue
The man was strong
The man was bold
Didn't listen to the rest unfold
He took in his culture, pride
He wore his kilt, with pride
Did it make him less of a man? Sigh.
Did it make a lass of the man? Wry.
Forgo these ancient thoughts
That make the thinker less of a human
Drought over their eyes
To see a proud man in a kilt
Categories:
kilt, anti bullying, boy,
Form:
Rhyme
Do you know why Scottish people call it a kilt?
Because they kilt the last man who called it a skirt!
Categories:
kilt, humor,
Form:
Epigram
Never look back and be eaten up with guilt
Try to correct what you did in the future
I remember the first time I showed up in a kilt
Never look back and be eaten up with guilt
Everyone said, “Not for you my friend, Milt,”
Truthfully, I think it is a matter of culture
Never look back and be consumed with guilt
Try to correct what you did in the future.
I remember the first time I showed up in a kilt
Everyone said, “Not for you my friend, Milt,”
Never look back and be eaten up with guilt.
Try to correct what you did in the future,
Truthfully, I think it is a matter of culture
At the time, I thought it a worthwhile venture.
Written July 8, 2021
[This is a “trionet,” a form I invented which combines
the traditional triolet with the 14-line sonnet. The
rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB AAABBb.]
Categories:
kilt, clothes, humorous,
Form:
Triolet