MY UNCLE WEARS A DRESS

My uncle wears a dress
I heard my uncle talking
About his favourite dress,
And how he needs a new one
As its old and in a mess.

He says it`s frayed and tattered 
And the pleats are wearing flat,
So he will need to get a new one
That goes right with his hat.

He also wears a frilly blouse
With ruffles on his sleeve,
And a great big shinny belt buckle 
That makes it hard to breath.

He wears his purse around his waist
And his socks up to his knees,
They are wrapped in long black ribbons
With legs as thick as trees.

He says he needs a nice Red hat
But I’m sure it’s just a ruse,
And some new bright brass buttons
And a pair of shinny shoes.

The buttons are for his own coat 
As he says it still fits snug,
And a shawl for over his shoulder
The same size as our rug.





He has a flower in his coat
And a feather in his hat,
And his great big hairy moustache
Looks like a ginger cat.

I`m worried for my uncle
If he`s wearing women’s clothes,
They just won’t suit his hairy legs
His big red beard and nose.

I’ve had to let my parents know 
But dad laughs and thinks it`s a hoot,
I think we should buy him men’s shoes 
And maybe a nice new suit.


Then when I saw him in his new clothes
I was sure he would look a mess
Till I saw my hairy uncle,
In his brand new highland dress.
THE END
Copyright © | Year Posted 2024

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Gentile Avatar
October 31, 2024 at 5:14 AM
Peter, you uncle sounds like fun! To each his own!! I really enjoyed reading you poem this morning!! Happy Halloween!!!
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