MY UNCLE WEARS A DRESS

My uncle wears a dress I heard my uncle talking About his favourite dress, And how he needs a new one As its old and in a mess. He says it`s frayed and tattered And the pleats are wearing flat, So he will need to get a new one That goes right with his hat. He also wears a frilly blouse With ruffles on his sleeve, And a great big shinny belt buckle That makes it hard to breath. He wears his purse around his waist And his socks up to his knees, They are wrapped in long black ribbons With legs as thick as trees. He says he needs a nice Red hat But I’m sure it’s just a ruse, And some new bright brass buttons And a pair of shinny shoes. The buttons are for his own coat As he says it still fits snug, And a shawl for over his shoulder The same size as our rug. He has a flower in his coat And a feather in his hat, And his great big hairy moustache Looks like a ginger cat. I`m worried for my uncle If he`s wearing women’s clothes, They just won’t suit his hairy legs His big red beard and nose. I’ve had to let my parents know But dad laughs and thinks it`s a hoot, I think we should buy him men’s shoes And maybe a nice new suit. Then when I saw him in his new clothes I was sure he would look a mess Till I saw my hairy uncle, In his brand new highland dress. THE END