Best Kalamazoo Poems

There once was a lass from Kalamazoo
Who got a large Mickey Mouse tattoo
'Twas inked on her fanny
When she became a granny
It sagged looking more like Winnie The Pooh

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
© All Rights Reserved

Placed No. 1 (Shared) in John Freeman's "Choose Your Own...

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A Welsh corgi in Kalamazoo
has a whole lot of explaining to do
With no beef or potatoes
or leeks or tomatoes
there’s nothing much left in the stew!...

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There is a young cricket from Kalamazoo
Who always knows just what to do
Is to rub his legs and chirp tonight
To make beautiful music all night
For a magical evening for me and you...

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We left on a Wednesday headed for Kalamazoo
Michael and I and my dog named Old Blue.
We were a tiny crew, and a teensy bit cuckoo
But at least we did not bring my brother True Boo.

Boo has a can do attitude, tis true
But he can be...

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They had to notify and call it in.
They had to cordon off and begin.

Apparently, he was middle-aged.
Apparently, he was married.
Apparently, he was a father.
Allegedly he had a mistress.
Allegedly he had left his job.
Allegedly he had embezzled.

A gun was found in his mouth.
A hole was found...

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There once lived a girl with a bonnet of straw  
her song was so bad yet they did not outlaw   
blame the song not the brain    
said the chap, quite insane    
at the Kalamazoo bar even...

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They had to notify and call it in.
They had to cordon off and begin.

Apparently, he was middle-aged.
Apparently, he was married.
Apparently, he was a father.
Allegedly he had a mistress.
Allegedly he had left his job.
Allegedly he had embezzled.

A gun was found in his mouth.
A hole was found...

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It will be a fine, fabulous, fun, day at Kalamazoo. 
Susan will be riding on the back of her golden elephants,
Elise, flying in on her velvet threaded purple magic carpet, 
Marie from France, transported by coach pulled by six ebony horses.

We will get into a...

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The darling green-eyed cat from Kalamazoo
Was plotting the death of me and you.
She looked unassuming and sweet and mild.
But she could have eaten a newborn child.

Her eyes are mesmerizing people often said.
Don’t look too closely I cautioned, or you’ll be dead.
They thought I was kidding...

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Whacky? Perhaps but extremely powerful too.
He’s a guinea pig wizard from north Kalamazoo.
We have seen him turn the windows both pink and blue.
He has commanded a crow to fly in from the flue.

We call him Mr. Tibblets Tanglewood Tony Treble Clef Two.
He likes the whole...

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Econo Lodge sign
       High
        On
        Its
      Pylon

Best we can do
For you Tedeschi Trucks
To put a moon in the sky

Over this...

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