Best Joint Poems
When you are nine years old
and sifting the seeds out
of your parents pot for them,
you can't really preach
about the dangers of cigarettes
and second-hand smoke...
even though you know them.
You know better than to miss a seed
and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it.
''What are you lazy or just too stupid? ''
''Is it really that hard to make sure
all the seeds are out? ''
Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job,
maybe they'll think enough of you
to actually let you roll one.
If you're lucky.
Then you're a real ''big helper''.
Then they really like having you around.
Because they love you.
But, if you're stupid enough
to roll a joint that isn't tight
or comes apart while they're smoking it...
you'll be sorry.
Because then they'll tell all their friends
just how stupid their worthless kid is.
''Stupid kid.
Can't even roll a good joint.
What good are you''?
Just wait...you're almost ten.
Then they'll have you smoke one yourself.
''It'll make you much cooler.
Because you're such a dork.
You really need help''.
Two birds sit in a tree... A colaboration from Wilma Neels &
Only separated by the sea.. Michael J. Falotico
They hum tunes that only they can hear...
The sun sets on one as the other see's it appear..
The wandering sounds of bliss..
Bring back memories to reminisce...
On days when they could spread their wings...
And experience all those amazing things...
When they would spread their wings and fly...
And time would just whisk by...
All they have left is memories...
And a lifetime of mysteries...
old- young, free-bonded
care-apathy sick healthy
many people and
many antonyms covered
in a large joint family
When my wife found my pot, she thought it was tea.
And her employer fired her after he made her pee.
My dad caught me when I smoked my very first joint.
He blistered my buttocks, he wanted to make a point.
He also gave me a lecture about how dope users never win.
The next week he caught me smoking pot and he blistered my butt again.
When he was done, my butt was bright red.
He spanked me so hard that my butt bled.
He thought that I'd quit because twice I was caught.
He thought that I'd stop smoking weed but I did not.
I no longer pay for marijuana because I grow my own.
The cops just found it and I'll lose all that I've grown.
The cops are confiscating my crop and they're arresting me.
I'll see you in ten years because that's when I will be set free.
(This is a fictional poem and I believe that smoking marijuana is wrong.)
A joint account of love
You asked, we to open, my darling
An idea, I certainly applauded
With all my soul’s might
But
To my dismay soon realized
That the only one depositing was I
While you, always amounts withdrew
Till all was gone, then you took a hike!
© Demetrios Trifiatis
24 FEBRUARY 2015
Drive-Through at the Fast Food Joint
By Elton Camp
To some people it must seen just fine
Having a long wait in the drive-thru line.
The car motor running all the while,
Using enough gas to go many a mile.
The voice from the ordering box will say,
“Want to try our triple fudge sundae today?”
I must then say my answer is no.
If I wanted that, I’d have said so.
When you get to give your order, be prepared
For an employee seriously hearing-impaired.
You might as well expect
The order to be incorrect.
“No, I said a sandwich of fish,
Not the extra stuffed taco dish.
You must have had a dream.
I didn’t order large ice cream.
There will be a sound of surprise
When you decline to go supersize.
And an unbelieving squeal
If you refuse the meal deal.
“I don’t want a drink filled with sugar and stuff.
A sandwich and fries are already bad enough.
If you insist, I’ll tell you what to do,
Decide if this is for me or for you.”
Then pay at Window One.
Your ordeal has just begun.
From the serving window comes a loud shout.
“You’ll have to pull up and we’ll bring it out.”
But there’s no place to stay
That’s out of traffic’s way.
Finally you’ll have a sack of salt and cholesterol,
You drive away wondering if it was worth it at all.
Iodine or Wine
limited choices, indeed
~ No PCP weed?
A man aches
in several wakes
a woman aches
in several makes
when they get to make
they jointly ache
in wakes and makes.
El Capitan - you are a joint
Within the Sierra Nevadas
Of punctuated granite -
A sentinel of the ages.
Sylvestris partition -
Beam of silver - or steel -
Are you a step to heaven
Or a capstone for hell?
Stern expression of peace -
Keeper of fortitude -
Of what would you speak?
Would I even understand you?
Word to your mother I'm the over weight lover
A beat of the clock to watch the grand tick tock
Blowing up the system in my shorts
Summer...Summer...Summer is here nothing to fear
Girls in hot shorts the curves on there hips
Hitting the gym no where to begin
Solid as a rock cause I got a big cock
Pulling down the dope joint over my head
Wake up dead a head full of lead
A nine at my back homeboy giving me a heart attack
See you on the flip side cheese
That girl will knock you to you knees
We got the stereo blasting
Body kit cars in the mix
Smoking a blunt to my head
Snoop is singing my favorite song
Gin & juice better then the blues
New sneakers on Nike and I'm not blind
Sound the alarm playing spades on the patio
Banging hot ladies somebody save me
Long hair, short shorts & a weave
Knock you to your knees I got to sneeze
Sugar is sweet like hot in the oven
Better then kissing your second cousin
You say I'm not dope well your all wrong
The stereo is playing my favorite song
Going to play pool with a couple of friends
Should I knock over another mail box
It all depends while I boogey right down to the socks
What's my claim to fame sense the like of Scott La Rock
Pulling on my jock cause you want a another push
Honey's in my sofa and some under my hood
Some are just no damn good
What's a young homeboy to do
Bitten off more then I could chew
What's the golden rule
COME ON MAN, GET TO THE JOINT
Listen man……..
here is an indisputably effective plan
And this is the fundamental God given point
So at once dash out that flaming joint
Without hesitation
Sans equivocation
Minus mitigation
Simply inhale and initiate the following information
Our Lord advises us all to seek vengeance not
And to follow his piousness and the perfection of His plot
Let no man bring you to your knees
In favor of adhering to what the Holy Bible decrees
Over and over and over once more
When a man does you wrong those are actions one must ignore
Seven multiplied by seventy times
Let no man command you unto the cruelty of countless crimes
Because I’m telling you man precisely what you need to know
Simply justly and swiftly let it go
“Turn the other cheek”
Well to me that is difficult to comprehend God speak
Words and their meanings of which I understand little to nil
Because forgiving a man who does me wrong is too bitter a pill
A tablet my anger will never be sworn unto swallow
Because I will always own and was born with a heart too hollow
And shall swear scorn unto the man who does me wrong
Since my desire to never forgive will forever be far too strong
So I allow vengeance to reside within my soul
Which thus turns my heart into sedimentary coal
And darkens me more with each passing hour
For I possess not the piousness nor the power
Neither the means in any manner to forgive
For so long as I, a sinner, shall live
Will I ne’re allow a man to err in what I feel he should do
While with certainty it will be curses my mouth shall surely spew
And promises of damnation will never give way to my forgiving, pardoning nor absolving a man of doing me harm
Until I cut him off at the knees or separate his body from a leg or an arm
His life will be mine to impair……no matter how unfair
Or the destructiveness my anger might breed
I’ll live to see that man beg, plead and then bleed
Because reprisal will finally be mine
And punitive punishment is propagated by my damnable design
Because I was born to disapprove, disregard and definitively disappoint
Okay dude, now, if you still care to, go ahead and re-ignite that joint
© 2012…..PHREEPOETREE ~free cee!~
It’s Purim and St. Patrick’s Day
And if you’re up for noshin’,
Have corned beef, cabbage and dessert –
Some bright green hamantaschen.
For those of you who do not know,
This pastry, always eaten
By Jews on Purim represents
The man who had them beaten.
His name was Haman and when he
Was finally defeated,
The bakers made a special treat,
Fruit-filled or poppy-seeded.
These sweets are shaped like Haman’s hat,
3-sided (and delicious!)
But since today’s St. Patrick’s Day,
It would be most judicious…
To make them green to honor both
The Irish and the Jews
And washed down with a Guinness,
I’d give 5-star-plus reviews!
Hitting the hash mixed with cigarette.
Gotta make it last till weekend.
THE SUM TOTAL OF TODAY'S JOINT FAMILY LUCK
There are many members tied up with many relationships
few are males and few are females old young all bear zips
all having not alike ideologies sentiments and thoughts
Few work earn more few less few live in droughts
in the discussion of family matters few step first
few show for no reason always false burst
few maintain honesty few try to cheat
few remain silent never emit heat
few are gentle few are skittish
few are cleaver most selfish
few are social few aren't
few engage in tort
Joint Home's luck
today's pluck
cluck
She has been waiting for amount
To her survival paramount
“From my base to the next bikes I mount!
I should, therefore, a whole lot count!”
But Bad Economy is a point,
Big money collecting at gun point:
An Extorting Police at check point,
Perpetually there, self would appoint,
Much like some Pastors self with anoint;
The Thing spending at every beer joint.
Spouse Coleman had this mentioned to her,
On bikes against Cold a coat of fur:
Britain’s Winter’s about eighty ponds
Russia’s Siberia’s a price that pounds…
“And so Life to Christ The Real Amount
One needs for one’s ascent of a mount!”