Be a Good Kid and Roll Me a Joint

When you are nine years old and sifting the seeds out of your parents pot for them, you can't really preach about the dangers of cigarettes and second-hand smoke... even though you know them. You know better than to miss a seed and let it ''pop'' while they are smoking it. ''What are you lazy or just too stupid? '' ''Is it really that hard to make sure all the seeds are out? '' Once you've proven yourself with the sifting job, maybe they'll think enough of you to actually let you roll one. If you're lucky. Then you're a real ''big helper''. Then they really like having you around. Because they love you. But, if you're stupid enough to roll a joint that isn't tight or comes apart while they're smoking it... you'll be sorry. Because then they'll tell all their friends just how stupid their worthless kid is. ''Stupid kid. Can't even roll a good joint. What good are you''? Just wait...you're almost ten. Then they'll have you smoke one yourself. ''It'll make you much cooler. Because you're such a dork. You really need help''.